How Self-Acceptance Leads to Happiness Within 天生我材必有用

Finding acceptance is a natural desire of most people. When we are young, it is important to us to be accepted by a group and to be seen as "cool" by our peers. To do this, we will often adopt the views and interests of the group rather than develop our own.

Over time, however, we have the opportunity to learn to accept ourselves. People who have done this are confident in their true abilities; they do not feel the need to create a facade to impress other people. They are concerned with whether their actions produce worthwhile results rather than with how they are seen by others.

Less secure people are quite different. Instead of finding security in themselves, they look for other people to provide it. This kind of person constantly agrees with everything others suggest, for fear of having their own ideas rejected. Arrogant or defensive people are also usually insecure; in an attempt to hide their insecurities, they belittle or blame others.

Secure people do not give up when faced with a difficult situation; they say "I can" rather than "I can't." Knowing that each day is an opportunity to use their talents to acquire good health, good friendships, and great happiness, they always put their best foot forward. Contented people do not judge others, nor do they judge themselves. They can appreciate the differences between themselves and other people.

Recognizing the details that we cannot change about ourselves is also a sign of personal growth. We cannot change our height, so why waste energy complaining about being short? Our energy would be better spent on more constructive projects. Instead of dwelling on personal characteristics we are not satisfied with, we ought to focus more on what we are good at.

Such expressions as "Love thyself" and "to thine own self be true" are about self-acceptance and confidence, as well as honesty and morality. We should consider them to be good advice, and treat them as signposts showing the way to happiness within.

渴望得到接纳是大多数人的一个自然愿望。我们年轻的时候，能被一个团体所接纳，被同辈认为很“酷”，对我们来说是很重要的。为此，我们常常要接受与团体一致的观点和兴趣，而不去发展我们自己的观点或兴趣。

然而，随着时间的推移，我们开始有机会去学习接纳自己。懂得如何接纳自己的人，表明对自己的真实能力很有信心；他们觉得没有必要去制造假象，让自己给人留下深刻印象。他们所关心的只是自己的行为能否产生有价值的结果，而不在乎别人会怎么看他们。

缺乏安全感的人就很不一样了。他们往往不是在自己内心寻找安全感，而是寻找他人的帮助来获得安全感。这种人总是同意别人建议的每件事，就因为害怕自己的意见会遭到拒绝。傲慢或防御心强的人通常也是很没有安全感的；他们会借着贬低或指责别人，来掩饰他们的不安。

有安全感的人面对困境时不轻易放弃；他们说“我可以”，而不说“我不行”。他们知道每一天都有机会施展所长，总是全力以赴，得到健康、友谊及幸福。懂得知足的人不评论别人，也不评判自己。他们能欣赏自己和别人的不同之处。

能认清我们无法改变自己这个事实也是一个人成熟的表现。既然我们不能改变自己的身高，那么又何必浪费力气抱怨自己长得矮呢？把我们的精力用在更积极的计划上会更好。与其在自己不满意的个人特征上钻牛角尖，不如把精力放到我们擅长的事情上。

像“珍爱自己”、“忠于自我”就是自我接纳、自信的一种说法，也是对自己诚实与道德的一种表达。我们应该把它们当作金玉良言，并看作是通往内心幸福之路的路标。