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Help others, help yourself
助人即助己
Kim was in danger of being fired from her job at a small marketing firm. She was a whiz at internet research, but was such a perfectionist that she'd even lie to cover up her mistakes. She'd ask her boss for advice, then argue with him if she disagreed. With losing her job almost guaranteed, Kim knew she needed help to save herself from herself. It was time to create her own dream team of advisors.
The most dramatic life changes often occur through initiatives like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous, where there are multiple people invested in your success and to whom you feel accountable. It makes sense to apply the same principles that have been so successful in dealing with self-destructive habits when creating your own self-guided community for personal growth.
Your ''dream team'' works best with about five people, all of whom care enough about you to be ruthlessly honest. Select people with diverse backgrounds – your jogging partner, maybe your accountant and someone whose behaviour you admire or whose position you aspire to. Not only will a diverse group come up with creative solutions, they are more likely to be plugged in to networks and resources you may not have access to yourself. Kim, for example, invited both a trusted colleague and her boss to join her team.
The trick is to listen to their critiques, and that's not always easy to do. Kim argued with her team so much that one member finally said, ''Look, if you're going to ask for my advice and always disagree with it, it's not worth me making the effort to give it.''
Of course, you can ask clarifying questions: ''What do you mean by that?'' or ''What did you think when you saw me doing this?'' But do not contradict them, even if you feel a team member has misjudged you. This is his ''gift'' to you. And if four out of five people are giving you the same gift, then the chances are that they're on to something. Now, I bet you're thinking, ''Why would these people do this? What do I have to offer that could possibly induce people, some of whom I barely know, to help me in this way?''
