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Now science books will tell you that when you meet a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact, retreat slowly and if it attacks you play dead, but that's if your avoiding a confrontation, if you wanna bring it to the bear you need to wind him up first, so nick his salmon and run away a bit or just insult his mum.
现在“科学”将给你权威的解答,当你在森林里遇到一头熊的时候，你应该避免接触眼睛。如果它准备攻击你，将你慢慢玩死,你的选择就是撤退。但如果你避免对抗,如果你想和熊打一架，你就需要先挑衅它,最好的方法是拿着它的鲑鱼食物开跑或者干脆侮辱它的妈妈。
If you see a bear at feeding time its gonna be hungry, hungry means angry, best not to go hand to hand in this situation far better to run him down with a truck. If you don't have a truck your gonna have to go toe to toe, best thing to do is go mental, imagine its a life and death situation, like if you were being attacked by a bear, kick him in the balls, clothesline him, or do his face in with a crow bar. You probably gonna get some back, so keep your guard up, at the end of the day its who wants it more.
如果你看到一只熊饥饿难耐,那你就处境不妙了。饥饿意味着暴躁，在这种情况下最好不要手把手的和熊斗，更好的方式是用一辆卡车从它身上碾过去。如果你碰巧身边没有一辆卡车，你就得算计衡量孰轻孰重了。最好的办法就是心理暗示，想象现在是你的生死攸关时刻,你遭到一只熊袭击,该怎么办？踢它的蛋蛋,对它拳打脚踢甚至是用撬杠戳瞎它的双眼。你可以买一些回来,所以你要保持守势,毕竟在一天结束的时候谁都要想的多一点。
You might need to fight dirty:
你也可能需要耍一些肮脏手段:
Why not take his cubs hostage, and push them around a bit, this will leave him feeling lost and alone making it easier for you to deck him. enlist the help of other animals like a hawk to pluck out his eyes, a cobra to inject some venom, and a rhino to deliver a smack down.
你为什么不挟持它的幼崽作为人质呢？这可以让它心情沮丧与孤独，而你可以更容易地搞定它。向其它动物寻求帮助也是不错的选择，鹰会戳瞎它的眼睛，眼镜蛇可以使用毒液而犀牛的冲撞也绝对不是好惹的。
Why not build a robot suit out of metal and stuff to level the odds? Then knock his teeth out.
为什么不制造一种全身金属的机器人呢?这样可以把它的牙齿打出来。
If all else fails set him on fire- proving once and for all you're king of the jungle.
即使所有的其他方法都失败也可以让它惹祸上身——这证明你就是丛林之王。
Good luck fighting bears.
祝你战熊好运。
词语解释：
- avoid v. 避免
- salmon n. 鲑鱼
- hostage n. 人质
