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Smarten up, hey, smarten up, hey, smarten up
聪明些 嘿 聪明些 嘿 聪明些
That was the cure for dyslexia
失读症就是这样治的
In fact, one day
实际上 有一天
the guy in my high school called my mom and he said
我的高中老师把我妈妈找来说
have you ever thought of taking Jay out of school
你有没有想过把杰从学校领回去
You know, Mrs. Leno, education is not for everyone
雷诺夫人 教育并非对每个人都合适
And then he said, Jay works in McDonald's
他说 杰可以到麦当劳工作
you know they have a wonderful hamburger university program
他们有一个很棒的汉堡大学项目
where they teach the kids how to make change
教学生如何得到改善
it just could be a real opportunity for Jay
这对杰而言是个很好的机会
I'm sitting there, going, hello, I'm in the room
我则坐在那里说 哈罗 我在房间里
And like a lot of you, I was the class clown, and I'd like to show off
和你们很多人一样 我是班上的小丑 喜欢哗众取宠
I thought I'd like to go into show business
我想进入脱口秀表演业
but I had never met anybody in show business in Massachusetts
但我在马萨诸塞州从未碰到过任何脱口秀表演业的人
And show business is one of those rare jobs or professions
滑稽表演这个行业很独特
where people who know absolutely nothing about it feel free to give you advice
对它一无所知的人都能随意提出建议
A neighbor lady, Mrs. Langell tell my mother
我邻居兰盖尔夫人跟我妈说
you can't be a comedian unless your father was a comedian
父亲不是喜剧演员的人别想当喜剧演员
That's the way it is and how it would
情况就是这样
You can't do it unless your father was a comedian
要当喜剧演员 父亲必须是喜剧演员
I said okay, so I guess that's out
我说 好吧 不过这已经过时了
And then for some odd reason I went to Bentley School of Accounting and Finance
然后出于很独特的原因 我进入了本特利会计与金融学校
You know why?
知道为什么吗
Because it was close to my house
因为它离我家近
That's why I went there
这就是我去那里的原因
A dyslexic accountant, I lasted one semester
一个失读症会计 我在那待了一个学期
one semester
一个学期
Then Emerson College saved my life
然后 爱默生学院挽救了我的人生
I remember somebody telling me there was this liberal arts college in Boston
我记得 有人告诉我波士顿的这家文科院校
where a lot of people like me ended up
很多和我一样的人都来到这里
