Task 2.

Shop-lifter.

Excuse me, madam. Yes?

Would you mind letting me take a look in your bag?

I beg your pardon?

I'd like to look into your bag, if you don't mind.

I'm afraid I certainly do mind, if it's all the same to you.

Now go away, impertinence.

I'm afraid I shall have to insist, madam.

And just who are you to insist, may I ask?

I advise you to take yourself off, young man, before I call a policeman.

I am a policeman, madam.

Here's my identity card.

What? Oh... well...and just what right does that give you to go around looking into people's bags?

None whatsoever, unless I have reason to believe that there's something in the bags belonging to someone else?

What do you mean belonging to someone else?

Well, perhaps, things that haven't been paid for?

Are you talking about stolen goods?

That's a nice way to talk, I must say.

I don't know what things are coming to when perfectly honest citizens get stopped in the street and have their bags examined.

A nice state of affairs.

Exactly, but if the citizens are honest, they wouldn't mind, would they?

So may I look in your bag, madam?

We don't want to make a fuss, do we? Fuss?

Who's making a fuss?

Stopping people in the street and demanding to see what they've got in their bags.

Charming! That's what I call it, charming.

Now go away, I've got a train to catch.

I'm sorry.

I'm trying to do my job as politely as possible, but I'm afraid you're making it rather difficult.

However, I must insist on seeing what you have in your bag.

And what, precisely, do you expect to find in there?

The Crown Jewels?

No need to be sarcastic, madam.

I thought I'd made myself plain.

If there's nothing in there which doesn't belong to you, you can go straight off and catch your train and

I'll apologize for the inconvenience.

Oh, very well.

Anything to help the police.

Thank you, madam. Not at all.

Only too happy to co-operate.

There you are.

Thank you.

Mm, six lipsticks?

Yes, nothing unusual in that.

I like to change the color with my mood.

And five powder compacts?

I use a lot of powder.

I don't want to embarrass you, but I sweat a lot.

And ten men's watches?

Er, yes, I get very nervous if I don't know the time.

Anxiety, you know.

We all suffer from it this day and age.

I see you smoke a lot, too. Madam.

15 cigarette lighters?

Yes, I am rather a heavy smoker.

And...and I use them for finding my way in the dark, and...and for finding the keyhole late in the night.

And...and I happen to collect lighters.

It's my hobby.

I have a superb collection at home.

I bet you do, madam.

Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come along with me.

How dare you.

I don't go out with strange men.

And anyway, I told you I have a train to catch.

I'm afraid you won't be catching it today, madam.

Now are you going to come along quietly or am I going to have to call for help?

But this is outrageous.

I shall complain to my MP.

One has carry one's valuables around these days, one's house might be broken into while one's out.