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精美英文欣赏:My Pain我的痛苦

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Part 5 My Pain

第五部分 我的痛苦
I have told you, reader, that I had learnt to love Mr. Rochester: I could not unlove him now, merely because I found that he had ceased to notice me- because I might pass hours in his presence, and he would never once turn his eyes in my direction- because I saw all his attentions appropriated by a great lady, who scorned to touch me with the hem of her robes as she passed; who, if ever her dark and imperious eye fell on me by chance, would withdraw it instantly as from an object too mean to merit observation. I could not unlove him, because I felt sure he would soon marry this very lady- because I read daily in her a proud security in his intentions respecting her- because I witnessed hourly in him a style of courtship which, if careless and choosing rather to be sought than to seek, was yet, in its very carelessness, captivating, and in its very pride, irresistible.
我已经告诉过你,读者朋友,我意识到自己爱上了罗切斯特先生,我现在不能不爱他,仅仅因为我发现他不再关注我了--因为我可能在他面前待上几个小时, 而他的眼睛从不朝我的方向瞟上一眼--因为我发现他所有的注意力被一位贵妇人所吸引,她从我身边走过时,连长袍的边都不屑于碰我一下,当她阴险专横的眼神碰巧落在我身上,她会立即避开,就像这件东西太廉价不值得她看上一眼。我不能不爱他,仅仅因为我确信不久他就会娶这位女士--因为每天我都能从她身上看出她高傲地认为她在他心目中的地位已经非常稳固--因为我每时每刻都目睹着他对她的追求,尽管漫不经心,又表现出宁愿被人追求而不追求别人,却由于随意而显得富有魅力,由于傲慢而愈发不可抗拒。
There was nothing to cool or banish love in these circumstances, though much to create despair. Much too, you will think, reader, to engender jealousy: if a woman, in my position, could presume to be jealous of a woman in Miss Ingram's. But I was not jealous: or very rarely;- the nature of the pain I suffered could not be explained by that word. Miss Ingram was a mark beneath jealousy: she was too inferior to excite the feeling. Pardon the seeming paradox; I mean what I say.
She was very showy, but she was not genuine: she had a fine person, many brilliant attainments; but her mind was poor, her heart barren by nature: nothing bloomed spontaneously on that soil; no unforced natural fruit delighted by its freshness. She was not good; she was not original: she used to repeat sounding phrases from books: she never offered, nor had, an opinion of her own. She advocated a high tone of sentiment; but she did not know the sensations of sympathy and pity; tenderness and truth were not in her. Too often she betrayed this, by the undue vent she gave to a spiteful antipathy she had conceived against little Adele: pushing her away with some contumelious epithet if she happened to approach her; sometimes ordering her from the room, and always treating her with coldness and acrimony. Other eyes besides mine watched these manifestations of character- watched them closely, keenly, shrewdly. Yes; the future bridegroom, Mr. Rochester himself, exercised over his intended a ceaseless surveillance; and it was from this sagacity- this guardedness of his- this perfect, clear consciousness of his fair one's defects- this obvious absence of passion in his sentiments towards her, that my ever-torturing pain arose.
I saw he was going to marry her, for family, perhaps political reasons, because her rank and connections suited him; I felt he had not given her his love, and that her qualifications were ill adapted to win from him that treasure. This was the point- this was where the nerve was touched and teased- this was where the fever was sustained and fed: she could not charm him.

重点单词   查看全部解释    
passion ['pæʃən]


n. 激情,酷爱

sustained [səs'teind]


adj. 持久的,经久不衰的

jealousy ['dʒeləsi]


n. 妒忌

pride [praid]


n. 自豪,骄傲,引以自豪的东西,自尊心

cathedral [kə'θi:drəl]


n. 大教堂

approach [ə'prəutʃ]


n. 接近; 途径,方法
v. 靠近,接近,动

acrimony ['ækriməni]


n. (语言,态度等)刻薄,辛辣

obvious ['ɔbviəs]


adj. 明显的,显然的

intended [in'tendid]


adj. 故意的,有意的;打算中的 n. 已订婚者 v.

withdraw [wið'drɔ:]


vt. 撤回,取回,撤退
vi. 退回,撤退,