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Whenever you're talking to people, say what you have to say.
当和人们交流时，说些该说的。
But once they start replying back to you, completely ignore it.
但一旦他们开始回应你，就完全忽略。
It can't possibly be interesting or important.
它可能不是那么有趣或重要。
In fact, it is critical that you use this time to prepare for what you're going to say once they're done.
事实上，关键的是你要趁这个时间准备一下你将要说什么。
Think very hard about what absolutely genius thing you're going to say next.
好好想想接下来你要说点什么绝对厉害的事情。
Also, make it really obvious that this is exactly what you're doing by not showing any form of acknowledgement once they’re done
而且，在他们结束的时候不做任何回应，要明显让人知道你就要这么做，
and if you can, start your next thought even if they're not quite finished with their final sentence.
如果可以的话，在他们还没有说完的时候就开始你的下一条思路。
Whenever you're around people, complain a lot.
当你在人群中时，要多抱怨。
If you're meeting someone after work for dinner,
如果你在下班后和某人吃饭，
make sure you tell them all about how horrible it is to work where you work.
一定要跟他抱怨你工作的地方有多糟糕。
If you can, also throw in some unpleasent facts about your family for extra bonus points.
如果可以的话，也可以穿插一些关于家庭额外红利点的不愉快的事实
It's not enough that you're drained after a long day of work,
工作了一天，你自己精疲力竭还不够，
you can't possibly be happy until the other person is completely drained as well.
只有让别人和你一样疲惫，你才开心。
The following step works well with anyone, but I've found that it works especially well if you have a significant other.
以下步骤适用于任何人，但是我觉得如果你有很重要的另一半，会更有效。
Like most people, she probably has great qualities along with some unpleasent ones.
就像大多数人，她可能有很多优点，也有一些缺点。
And you know very well which ones you need to focus on.
你知道需要专注于哪个点。
Don't ever say anything appreciative about how she cleaned up your mess,
对于她怎样收拾东西，
or how she tried to make you happy yesterday... These things are irrelevant.
或者是她昨天怎样尽力让你高兴等等这些，都不要表达感激之情，这些都不相关。
Focus instead on the one negative trait she has and constantly criticize her for it.
专注于不好的一点，并持续的为此批评她。
Always walk around with a pissed off and an unpleasent face. Don't ever smile.
总表现出一副不高兴的样子。不要笑。
When people don't react well to you and your social interactions suffer, be confused as to why...
当周围的人都不待见你，并且你的社会交往遭遇麻烦的时候，就困惑于为什么…
Make sure to not make any effort to remember people's names.
确保不要试着记住人们的名字。
It's not like you can make them feel like you care if you do.
就算你记住了，他们也不会觉得你在乎。
If this task requires that you put in extra effort or figure out a way to get better at this,
如果这个任务需要你付出额外的努力去更好的完成，
come up with an excuse to not take responsibility.
就找个借口不承担责任。
One that works really well is the following...
以下是比较有效的一种方法…
All you have to do is say this magic sentence: "Sorry, but I'm not good with names."
你需要做的就是这么说：“不好意思，我不擅长记忆名字。”
This somehow completely takes away any need to make an effort,
这样完全不需要做任何努力，
and hey, now you're the victim. Congratulations!
嘿，你现在是受害者了。恭喜你！
Remember at all times that the most important person is you,
永远记住你才是最重要的人，
and therefore the most important interests and hobbies in the world are of course the ones that you have.
因此你的兴趣和爱好就是这个世界上最重要的兴趣和爱好。
Don't ever genuinely be interested in what's going on with other people.
不要天真的对别人感兴趣。
Your one friend's a martial artist while the other's a soccer player?
你的朋友是武术家或者足球运动员？
Don't ever ask them what that's like and possibly look at things from a new perspective.
永远不要问他们那是种什么感受，也不要从新角度去看待事物。
No, those are barbaric and unsophisticated practices you have no interest in.
那些都是一些你不感兴趣的野蛮又不成熟的行为。
Instead always talk about reading books and how that is the most important thing in the world.
取而代之的，经常聊聊读书及其在世界上的重要性。
And while you're doing that, make sure to tell them about how much you love Dale Carnegie as well.
当你那么做的时候，一定要让大家知道你是有多么崇拜戴尔·卡内基。
Don't ever make people feel important especially when you're dealing with people in a position of power.
尤其是当你在和一个有权利的人相处时，不要让他们产生一种优越感。
If a cop pulls you over, don't ever say things like "yes, sir" or "yes, ma'am."
如果警察把你截到路边，不要这么说“好的，先生”或者“好的，女士。”
Talk to him or her like you talk to your homeboys.
对他们就像对老乡一样就可以。
After all, you are a self-proclaimed gangster and any other form of interaction would be a weakness on your part.
毕竟，你是一个自称恶棍的人，任何其他形式的交际都会显示你的弱点。
As a result, end up with a ticket that is ten times worse
最终，你会得到一张罚单，
than what you would have gotten by making the person feel important.
比让别人获得优越感而得到的要糟糕十倍。
I mean it's not like many people in a position of power aren't strictly there
我是说，不像是很多有权之人不谋其职，
just because they get that sinister sense of pleasure from other people making them feel important.
仅仅因为他们从逢迎者那里获得了那种阴暗的愉悦感。
Whenever it becomes really obvious to you and everyone around you that you are wrong, do not admit it.
当很明显的周围的人都觉得你不对的时候，不要承认。
To you, that is a sign of weakness and it will embarass you.
对你而言，那是一种软弱的表现，会使你难堪。
Don't say something respectable like, "You guys are right. I had a wrong perspective on this.
不要说一些很尊敬的话，诸如“你们是对的。我的想法错了。
Thanks for teaching me something new." No! Don't do that!
谢谢教给我这些新东西。”不，不要那么做！
That will actually get rid of any possible embarassment and make people respect you.
那样你就能摆脱尴尬，而且也会让人们尊重你。
And finally, work hard at cultivating the inability to put yourself into another person's shoes,
最后，培养不为别人着想的能力，
always think about only what you want, and never appeal to the interests of the person you're dealing with.
只管想你想要什么，不要迎合别人的喜好。
If you work at a business and you want to ask for a raise,
如果你想要加薪，
walk in there with a mindset of how you think you obviously deserve more,
就表现出，你理所当然的值得获得更多，
and how you want to be able to afford more things,
你是多么的想能够买更多的东西，
and how you should get a raise just because you've been there a certain amount of time...
还有因为你已经有了一定的工龄…你是多么应该获得加薪。
Don't mention or show how your work is critical to moving the business forward
不要提及你的工作对于生意的发展有多么关键的作用
cause let's be honest, it's probably not.
因为说实话，那不可能。
Plus, then you'd be appealing to the business owner's interest and that might actually get you a raise.
另外，你迎合雇主的喜好，这样你有可能得到加薪。
But hey, don't do that... These types of thoughts don't occur to you.
但是，别那么做…这种想法不可能出现在你身上。
The ability to put yourself in another person's shoes,
换位思考，
think about what they want, appeal to their interests,
想别人所想，迎合他们的兴趣，
and therefore maximize the chances of getting what you want is alien to you.
并因此把获得自己之所需的机会最大化，这种能力对你来说太陌生了。
