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There is some big Facebook news today guys.
今天要讲一讲关于脸书的新闻
Who here is on Facebook?
在座的谁有脸书账号
Wow. OK. Well, if you don't know this, Mark Zuckerberg announced
哇这么多啊，好的，为了避免有的人还不知道这条消息我再说一下。马克·扎克伯格宣布
that Facebook is working on adding a 'dislike' button to its websites.
他们正准备给脸书加上一个“讨厌”按钮
Yeah, well, and I, for one, am very excited that finally finally people will have the ability to be negative on the internet.
而我看到这个消息是很激动的，因为我们终于能在互联网上宣泄我们的负面情绪了
It is about time. Right? You know...
是时候了，不是吗？
Is this something we need? We really don't need a dislike button.
但这是我们真正需要的吗？我们不大需要一个“讨厌”按钮
The internet is already one gigantic dislike button.
互联网本身就是一个巨大的“讨厌”按钮了
If you go on YouTube right now, there's a video of a cat who raised a family of orphaned ducklings.
如果你现在登上“油管”，你会看到一个视频，内容是一只猫养着一群无家可归的小鸭子
It's adorable. And it has 237 thumbs down.
这是多么可爱的一个画面啊！然而有237个人按了“讨厌”
Let's take a look. Aw!
一起来看看这个视频。哇
237 people gave that a thumbs down, when let's remember they had the option of doing nothing.
有237个人给了这个视频“讨厌”，这就让我们想念起了他们拿这些视频毫无办法的日子
What part of this video is it possible to not like?
这个视频到底哪一部分有可能让人讨厌？
Even if you don't like cats, there are baby ducklings!
即使你不喜欢猫，这儿还有小鸭子呢
Everyone loves baby ducklings! They're the Beyonce of the animal kingdom.
谁会讨厌小鸭子啊！他们可是动物界的碧昂斯啊
Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir.
谢谢你，先生。谢谢你，先生
I honestly, I don't really know what's happened to Facebook.
讲实话，我真不知道脸书最近怎么了
From what I remember, Facebook used to be all about poking.
我记得，脸书以前是很流行“戳一下”的
Do you remember that? You remember that, Reggie?
你们记得吗？雷吉，你还记得吗？
You'd poke someone and they would say ow.
你戳别人一下，然后他们就说“啊”
You'd say hey you, wanna get a drink and then you would never hear from them again.
然后你说，哎，你要不要喝一杯，之后你就见不到这个人了
But now there is so much negativity online they've had to create new terms for it. Like the word troll.
但如今网上有太多的负面能量，人们甚至为此创造了新的短语。比如说“troll”这个词。
Trolls used to be little monsters that lived under a bridge, right?
“troll”原本是指居住在桥下的那些小怪的
Now they're horrible monsters who live in their mom's basements.
现在他们成为有人照管的巨型怪兽了
Reportedly Mark Zuckerberg believes that the dislike button will allow people to show empathy.
报告中说马克·扎克伯格认为“讨厌”按钮能够让人在互联网上展示出共情能力
You know like when someone you know posts something like
这就好比是有个你认识的人在网上贴了一张狗的照片，
oh my dog of nine years just died, and you would be like aw, I dislike that.
而这条狗恰好长得很像你刚死去的已经养了九年的那一条，然后你说，啊，我讨厌这个
The problem is no one talks like that in real life.
问题在于，现实生活中，我们没有人是像这样讲话的
No one turns up and goes my dog died. I dislike that.
没有人突然出现说，我的狗死了。我讨厌这个
You can't divide life into like or dislike.
你并不能仅仅把生活分成喜欢和不喜欢
You know some things are equally great and terrible at the same time.
有些事情是你既喜欢又不喜欢的
Like if someone posts a picture of the Fried Oreos they're about to eat at the county fair,
比如，有人在网上贴出炸奥利奥的照片，这是他们准备在县集市上吃的食物。
I like that it's delicious and I dislike that I wasn't invited, Craig.
这张照片我就很喜欢，因为它看起来很美味，但我又不喜欢，因为他们没邀请我
But you know why just stop at like and dislike?
但是为什么只有“喜欢”和“讨厌”这两个按钮呢
We need more buttons to sum up the broad spectrum of emotions we feel while on Facebook.
我们需要有更多的按钮来表达出我们在看脸书时的多种情绪
For instance, I'd like to see an eye roll button.
比如，我想要一个翻白眼的按钮
Do you know what I mean? Oh my god, Jeanine is still posting about breaking up with Derek. Eyeroll!
你们知道我什么意思吗？天呐，珍宁居然还在发她和德里克分手那些破事儿，翻白眼！
You know...Thank you. How about a whatever button for when you just don't care.
嗯...谢谢。或者加一个“随便你”按钮来表达你根本不在乎
You know like when someone posts a picture of their lunch.
这个按钮就可以在有人发他们的午餐照片时派上用场
You can be like yeah, we've all seen food before. Whatever!
嗯，大家都是见过食物的人，你爱发就发吧！
Or an mmm hmmmm. Do you know what I mean?
或者加一个“嗯哼”。明白吗
This is a button you can use when your friend posts something and they are full of it.
当你的朋友贴了一些东西说了假话的时候，你就可以用这个按钮
When someone posts like six days straight at the gym! You like Mmm hmmmm.
当某人发布了一条状态：连续六天去体育馆。嗯哼
Then why'd you just follow funyons on Facebook bitch? Mmm hmmmm.
那你为什么脸书上还关注着甜圈呢，小婊砸？嗯哼
Or I think it should be an it's racist button
还可以加个“你就是种族主义者”按钮，
which you can use for any status that begins with when anyone uses the phrase I'm not racist, but—you can just go it's racist! It's racist!
这样，每次别人以“我不是个种族主义者，不过——”这种句式开头的时候，你就发“你就是种族主义者！你就是种族歧视！”
OK, and finally they should add a button for when you are stalking an ex online.
最后他们还应该加上一个按钮，供你在网上偷偷关注前任时用。
Every time they post a photo you can click the you got fat and that makes me happy button
每次他们贴张照片，你就按这个按钮，“看见你胖了我就放心了”
Even if they didn't.
就算他们没胖也这么干
