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I don't know if you saw this but this was in the news yesterday.
不知道你们看到昨天的新闻没有
A church congregation in Ohio was trying to spread a message about generosity, right.
一家教会为了显示他们的慷慨
So what they did was they ordered one $6 pizza
点了一份价值6美元的披萨
and they tipped their Dominos delivery driver $1,000!
然后给了达美乐披萨店的送餐员1000美元的小费
I know! A $1,000 tip. Can you imagine?
是啊 1000美元的小费啊 想想看
You know the second the driver left,
然后送餐员走了
they opened the pizza and were like aw man! We said no onions!
他们打开披萨 大喊一声 我去 说了不要洋葱的
But this story is shocking.
但这事儿真的很惊人
I mean, this is the first time someone who ordered Dominos actually had $1,000.
我是第一次发现能给出1000刀小费的人也会点达美乐家的披萨
Imagine if you're in that congregation, and that day you put $50 in the collection plate.
设想一下 假如你是教会的一员 你在结账的盘子上放了50刀
You're like, they'll use this to do good in the world.
你会想 他们会拿这些钱去做善事的
They're not just going to give it to the first person who walks through—oh come on!
他们绝不会把钱给走过来的第一个人——靠
Look, there's no doubt that tipping can get complicated, right.
看吧 给小费毫无疑问是个挺复杂的事儿
That's why some people want to get rid of it altogether, OK.
这就是为什么有些人想要去掉小费制度
Because I don't know if you saw this, but Danny Meyer, the celebrated New York city restaurateur
不知道你们看没看过这条新闻 纽约一家著名饭店的老板丹尼·梅尔
has decided to eliminate tipping at all of his restaurants.
决定在他家的所有饭店内取消小费制度
And instead, he's going to pay his servers a decent wage by raising the price of his food.
作为替代 他将给服务员涨工资 方式是饭店内的食物涨价
So good news, New Yorkers, you won't have to tip when you order your $80 Caesar salad.
好消息啊 纽约人 你们点一份80刀的凯撒沙拉的时候不用付小费啦
But some customers are complaining that they don't want to have to pay the higher prices, right.
但也有些顾客说他们也不想花更多钱在食物上 嗯
But here's the thing, one of Danny Meyer's restaurants
是这样 丹尼·梅尔有一家饭店
offers a dish called watermelon and caviar, right.
推出了一道新菜 叫做西瓜鱼子酱 嗯
And if you're eating at a restaurant that serves watermelon with caviar,
如果你点了西瓜鱼子酱
you don't get to complain about anything.
你不会有机会抱怨的
You sit down, shut up, and enjoy what is possibly the only way I can imagine to ruin a good watermelon.
你就乖乖坐下来 啥也别说 安安静静的享受这道我能想到的唯一一种能毁掉一个好吃的瓜的菜吧
I actually love this idea because I hate figuring out tips, right.
其实我觉得这是个挺不错的想法 因为我特别讨厌算小费
I mean call me crazy, but after I've had three glasses of wine,
就当我疯了吧 反正我三杯酒下肚
I don't like to do a math problem in my head, right.
就一道计算题都算不出来
And it's getting worse.
而事态还在朝更糟糕的方向发展
The other day, I don't know if anyone had this, I've never had this before,
有一天 不知道你们有没有过这样的经历 反正我在此之前从来没有过
I went to a restaurant and not only did I have to pay a server's tip, right,
我去了一家饭店吃饭 吃完了不仅要给服务员付小费
but I was asked to pay something called a captain's tip for the guy who showed me to my table.
还要给领我到餐桌的领班小费
What the hell is that about?
这他妈是啥
If I'm tipping a captain, he better come up to my table and say, look at me, look at me.
如果我要给一个队长小费 他最好来到我的桌边 对我说 看着我 看着我
I'm the captain now. That's going to get you a tip and maybe an Oscar nomination.
现在我是队长 这样的话我就给你小费 说不定还给你一个奥斯卡奖的提名
The truth is I can't wait for the future of tipping.
我真的迫不及待得去想小费文化以后会发展成什么样子
Because soon you won't even need cash
因为很快你就根本不会用到现金
because anyone's just gonna have a chip in their heads
因为每个人大脑里都会有一块芯片
and you'll just be able to hold a phone up to someone's face.
你要把手机贴在别人的脸上
And just go that was great meal.
说 这顿饭不错哈
Thank you so much. We really loved it.
谢谢招待 我们吃的很开心
And listen, listen. There is a little something for you, all right.
听着 我们要给你一点小礼物
You're like oh, that is too generous.
然后你说 哦 你们真是太客气了
But the crazy thing about America is that you guys tip everyone, right.
但你们美国人真的太可怕了 谁都要给小费
It is not like that in the U.K. you tip waiters, baristas, valets, hairstylists. It's out of control.
我们英国就不这样 你们的小费要给要给服务生 给咖啡师 给泊车员 还要给发型师 已经失去控制了
There's so much tipping in this country I feel like I'm permanently at a strip club.
在美国每天都要给别人这么多 我感觉像是生活在脱衣舞俱乐部里
Do you know what I mean? Yeah baby, that dry-cleaning looks great! Yeah! Thank you so much!
你们明白吗 对 宝贝 这件衣服干洗的真不错 谢谢你啦
So that's it. That's the monologue tonight.
以上 这就是今晚的单人脱口秀环节
Did you enjoy it? Yeah.
你们喜欢吗 当然
You enjoyed it?
你觉得不错
Was there a problem with your monologue? It was good.
觉得我的表演有什么问题吗 很棒
I'm waiting because everybody in the audience said you were very much going to cover the tip.
我在等着呢 因为听众都觉得你应该包了我刚才表演的小费
There is no way you don't have cash.
你不可能没有现金
You're wearing a salmon pink shirt and moccasins.
我看见你穿的浅粉色衬衫和配的鹿皮鞋了
No way you don't have cash. Come on. Pay up!
不可能没带现金 来嘛 给钱
I mean you're disappointed.
你们要失望了
That is actually 50% of what I'm earning tonight.
这些钱有我今晚挣的钱的一半了
So I'm very thrilled. Thank you very much.
我好激动 谢谢啦
