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It is crunch time.
关键时刻到了 各位
We are only two weeks away from being one year away from the presidential election.
我们距离 离总统大选还有一年 只剩下两周了
Can you feel that? It's starting to get exciting. Isn't it?
你们感受到这种气氛了吗 竞争很激烈 不是吗
If you notice all the candidates are trying to reinvent themselves,
也许你们已经注意到了 各位候选人正卯足了劲儿想重塑他们在选民严厉的形象
but sometimes they try a little too hard.
但有时候 他们有点儿用力过猛了
Take a look at Jeb Bush last week, trying to appeal to a younger, hipper audience.
看看杰布·布什上周的采访 可以看出他是想吸引年轻的嬉皮士们的注意
When I was working out this morning, there was an ad promoting supergirl.
我今天早上在外面看见了一个做广告的超人女孩
She looked pretty hot.
身材超正的
Come on. Jeb Bush calling supergirl pretty hot
杰布·布什说这句话的时候
is like something your step-dad says when he's trying to connect with you.
感觉就像是你的继父想勾引你
Do you know what I mean? Like so uh, that supergirl is pretty hot.
你们感觉的到吗 那个女生超正的
You're not my dad, Keith, stop trying!
基思 你又不是我爸 别白费力气了
I'll tell you what, though. Supergirl and Jeb Bush do have a lot in common, right.
但我想说 超人女孩和杰布·布什的确还有挺多共同点
They both want to save America, and neither one is the most interesting member of their family.
他们都想拯救美国 并且两个人在家里都是挺无趣的人
But the truth is the person most desperately trying to reshape their image right now is Ben Carson, right.
但目前 最想扭转自己形象的人非本·卡森莫属了 嗯
Because lately, the press has been confronting him about his sleepy, low energy demeanor.
因为最近 有媒体拍到了他昏昏欲睡 无精打采的照片
When pushed for examples of how high energy he could be, he said this.
为了证明自己精力足够充沛 他是这么说的
I would just fly off the handle, and really become quite irrational, and try to hurt people.
我有时候会突然放下手里的事 变得很情绪化 想打人
With baseball bats, hammers, whatever.
用棒球棍 锤子或者其他任何工具都行
In this particular case, I happened to have a large camping knife.
有一次 碰巧我手边是一把野餐刀
And, you know, one of my friends angered me, and I just... lunged at his abdomen with the knife,
然后 我朋友把我惹毛了 我就用刀捅了他的肚子
probably would have seriously injured him or killed him,
本来这一刀很有可能对他造成重伤 或者杀了他的
but he happened to have on a large metal belt buckle under his clothing.
但刚好我捅到的位置是一个金属的安全带扣子
Ben Carson tried to kill one of his friends with a camping knife,
本·卡森曾经试图用一把野餐刀杀死他的朋友
but sure, let's keep talking about whether Hillary Clinton used yahoo or gmail.
好的 那么我们接下来继续聊聊希拉里·克林顿使用的邮箱到底是雅虎家的还是谷歌家的
I mean, honestly, he tried to kill someone!
他是想杀人哎
You know, some politicians attack people with words. Not Ben Carson.
我们都知道有些政客会用言语来攻击他人 而本·卡森就不一样了
He uses knives and hammers.
他用刀和锤子
Hammers. Plural. Hammers.
锤子还是 用的复数 好几把锤子
Whoever has got two hammers?
谁家里会有两把锤子
Let's not forget. This man is a Ben surgeon, right.
别忘了 这个人可是本·卡森
Ben Carson would be amazing at this game two truths and a lie.
本·卡森一定很擅长玩两句谎话一句真话的游戏
Do you know what I mean? He's like, well, I'm one of the world's best brain surgeons,
知道吗 嗯 我是世界上最优秀的脑科医生
I stabbed my friend with a camping knife and my favorite flavor is vanilla.
我曾经用刀捅了我朋友 我最喜欢香草口味的食物
Got you! It's strawberry!
我知道了 草莓口味才是对的
He is coming out and saying he tried to stab somebody.
他自己跳出来说 自己捅过人
Where do we go from here?
通过这件事我们知道了什么
There is a year until the election. Do you know what I mean?
距离大选只剩下一年了 知道吗
Candidates are just going to have to do crazier and crazier things.
候选人们会做出越来越疯狂的事
I mean, we're about two months away from Berny Sanders releasing a sex tape.
这也意味着 距离伯尼·桑德斯放出性爱录像只剩下两个月了
Who wants to feel the Bern?
有谁想感受一下的吗
Oh, come on. You watched it. You watched it. I'm not saying that enjoyed it, but watched it.
得了吧 你们肯定看过 绝对看过
How do you run against a guy who says he tried to stab someone and is still leading in the polls?
怎样才能打败一个自称伤过人选票却依然遥遥领先的人
Do you know what I mean? Like how would you even make an attack ad against him?
你们知道吗 反对他的广告应该怎么拍
We gave it a shot.
我们这里事先准备了一则
Dr. Ben Carson says he stabbed his friend with a knife. But did he really?
本·卡森医生说 他用刀捅了他的朋友 但他真的这么做了吗
Why did he quit after he hit the belt buckle on his first attempt?
为什么第一次下手被安全带挡住之后他没有继续呢
Is it because Ben Carson's a quitter?
这是否意味着本·卡森注定要退出大选
If Ben Carson can't stab his friend without being stabbed by a belt buckle,
没有安全带的阻挡之后 他也无法继续捅他的朋友
how does he plan on stopping ISIS?
那么他怎么能阻挡ISIS
If Donald Trump says he is going to stab someone, he does it.
而唐纳德·特朗普就不一样 如果他说要去捅人 就一定会见血
Paid for by the committee to elect Donald Trump.
唐纳德·特朗普竞选委员会宣
