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You probably already know this.
这条可能你们已经知道了
The third republican debate aired last night on CNBC.
昨晚CNBC直播了共和党第三次辩论
It featured Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Ben Carson and the other seven candidates who can't take a hint.
参与者有杰布·布什 唐纳德·特朗普 本·卡森和其他七位没什么印象的候选人
Last night's debate broke CNBC's record for most viewers,
昨晚的辩论打破了CNBC收视的最高纪录
narrowly edging out that time that two people accidentally changed the channel to CNBC at the same time.
刚好超过有两个人巧合的同时调到CNBC那次
I think CNBC's motto is we're not even the weather channel.
我估计CNBC的座右铭就是我们连天气预报台都算不上
Isn't it amazing? Here is the thing.
你们不觉得惊讶吗 是这样的
I'm new here, I recently moved here but it seems to me like the G.O.P. is holding so many debates,
我是新来的 我发现共和党举办了好多次辩论
they're just running out of TV networks to host them.
他们已经没有多的电视台来播了
Do you know what I mean? What's next?
你们知道我什么意思吗 接下来怎么办
They're going to hold it on QVC?
把节目拿去电视购物台播吗
We have 15 beautiful republicans here, look at the detail on these republicans.
我们这里有15位美丽的候选人 看看这些细节
You can get one for your house, or put one in the White House.
你可以买一位放在家里 或者放在白宫里
It's up to you.
一切由你自己做主
They could also try it on Telemundo, and then you know Trump would not attend.
还可以在西班牙语电视台播 这样特朗普就不会参加了
A lot of people think that the questions were silly and irrelevant last night.
很多人觉得昨天晚上的问题我呢的太蠢了 而且跟竞选没有关联
Like when they asked the candidates about fantasy football.
他们问了候选人虚拟足球的事儿
First of all. I'm 7-0 in my fantasy football league.
首先 我在虚拟足球的成绩是7比0
Gronkowski is still going strong.
格隆科夫斯基劲头依然很猛
Wait a second. We have people out of work.
等等 我们的国民没有工作
We have ISIS and Al Qaeda attacking us and we're talking about fantasy football?
ISIS和基地组织虎视眈眈 你们却在聊虚拟足球
Wow! A touchy subject.
哇 这个话题很敏感啊
Looks like someone might have lost a little bit of money in the fantasy football league.
可能这个人在虚拟足球联盟里输钱了
Chris Christy said we should stop talking about fantasy football
克里斯·克里斯蒂说我们不应该聊虚拟足球了
and start talking about ISIS wanting to kill us,
应该聊聊ISIS的事
which is good advice for the debate and terrible advice for a cocktail party.
我觉得这个建议很好啊
You're really bumming everybody out.
你真的把气氛弄得好尴尬
Come on, man.
不是吧
Another memorable moment was when Donald Trump bragged about the fact
另一个值得明基的时刻是 特朗普吹牛说他和主办方协商过
that he negotiated for a much shorter debate.
要把辩论时间缩短
Everybody said it was going to be three hours. Including them.
每个人都说辩论会持续三个小时 包括他们在内
In about two minutes I really renegotiated it down to two hours
两分钟之前 我跟他们说了要把时间缩短到两个小时
so we can get the hell out of here. Not bad.
让大家都能早点儿早点儿走 不错嘛
That's how you know things are bad when even Donald Trump wants to see less of Donald Trump.
当特朗普自己都觉得特朗普出现的频率太高的时候 我们就知道大事不妙了
What is next?
还有什么
Donald Trump is going to claim he negotiated the all-day breakfast at McDonald's,
特朗普还要说他要跟麦当劳交涉 让他们全天供应早餐
which if he did, he has got my vote! He does.
如果他这么做了 我就把票投给他
The strangest moment of the night came when Jeb Bush was asked about spending cuts.
昨晚最奇怪的时刻 是杰布·布什被问到关于削减开支的问题的时候
You find a democrat that will cut taxes $10.
如果你找到一个能把税收减少10 刀的民主党人
I'll give him a warm kiss.
我就给他一个温暖的吻
Thank you, governor.
谢谢 州长先生
A warm kiss.
一个温暖的吻
That is not a thing. You know that, a warm kiss?
这不是一个事物啊 一个温暖的吻
Jeb bush talks like he learned English from Rosetta stone.
杰布·布什讲话的方式让我觉得他的英语是跟罗赛达石学的
He uses adjectives that people don't actually use.
他用的形容词一般人都不会用
If you cut spending, I will be very big happy,
如果你能削减开支 我会非常大的开心
and I will give to you warm kiss on the plump lips.
而且我会给你丰满的嘴唇以温暖的吻
Now Jeb said that he would give democrats a warm kiss if they cut spending by $10.
杰布说如果民主党有人能把开支减少10刀 他就给他们一个温暖的吻
And not many people know this, but if they cut spending by $20,
但你们不知道的是 如果有人能把开支减少20刀
he'll give them the whole warm bush.
他会给他们一个温暖的布什
Thank you. Thank you. One of my own. One of my own. Thank you so much.
谢谢 以上纯属虚构 谢谢
