评论
打印
Suicide is one of the hardest things to deal with,
自杀是最难处理的事情之一，
not just for the person considering suicide but for the people surrounding that individual.
不仅对那些考虑自杀的人如此，对自杀者周围的朋友更是如此。
Often people who observe suicidal behavior from someone they love become very concerned and even disturbed at what they're saying
通常人们察觉到他们爱的人有自杀倾向后就会变得非常关心他们，甚至会对他们说的话感到不安
but it's very important not to let your shock overwhelm you.
但是不要让你的震惊吞没自己，这一点非常重要。
Instead of focusing on the sadness of the situation,
除了专注于对此情况的悲伤之外，
there are many things you could do to help these suicidal individuals.
你还能做很多事情来帮助想自杀的朋友。
1. Don't ask too many questions.
1. 不要问太多的问题。
In 2010 a study was done on the rising suicide rates in Japan,
2010年，在日本自杀高发区进行了一项研究，
an area which has a massive problem with people taking their own lives
这个地区存在大量自杀问题。
It found that asking too many questions can sometimes cause a negative reaction in suicidal people.
研究发现询问过多的问题有时会导致有自杀倾向的人做出消极反应。
Could this just be due to Japanese culture or is this an indicative of a more widespread treat
这是不是由日本文化导致的呢或者就世界各地的自杀者而言，
when it comes to suicide people all over the world.
这是一种更广泛治疗的一项说明。
It would make sense for this to apply to all people because the feeling of being interrogated with many questions is never fun.
这项研究也能应用于所有人之中，因为被各种问题所包围的感觉真的毫无乐趣。
Because of the shock of finding out someone is suicidal,
因为发现某人有自杀倾向而震惊
it can be tempting to bombard them with constant questions
很容易会不断地询问他们各种问题
but a more effective technique is to start slow just letting the person know you're there to help efforts.
但更有效的方法是放慢速度，让他们知道你会在他们身边帮助他们。
2. Don't give them false hope.
2. 不要给他们虚假的希望。
Another very interesting study was done in India, another country that is suffering from increased suicide rates.
另一项很有趣的研究在印度进行，这是另一个自杀率增长的城市。
They found that giving the person false hope can be a disastrous decision.
他们发现给人们以虚假希望是一种灾难性的决定。
Although you might feel that making unreasonable promises to the person might convince them not to commit suicide,
虽然你可能觉得对他们做出不合理的承诺也许能够说服他们不要自杀，
it actually causes the opposite effect.
但这样真的只会起反作用。
They immediately see through this fake promise and become even more disillusioned with the world they live in.
他们会立即看穿这种虚假承诺，甚至会对这世界更加绝望。
Although it might be tempting to say things like 'everything is going to be okay',
虽然很容易就说出，‘一切都会好起来的’这种话，
take a second to think what you're saying, is everything really going to be okay?
但仔细想想真的如你所说么，一切真的会好起来么？
As the study suggests a better option might be to employ a more realistic approach.
研究建议更好的方法是使用一些更加现实的方法。
3. Don't try to relate.
3. 不要找你们之间的关联。
The same study as mentioned before also found that trying to relate to the suicidal person can be a bad decision.
上述提到的同一研究还发现，尝试和自杀者之间找关联是个糟糕决定。
You have to understand that in the minds of suicidal people,
你需要理解在自杀者的想法里
no one understands what they're going through, even if you have contemplated suicide in the past
没人能够感同身受，即使你也有过自杀的想法
and feel like you've gone through the exact same thing.
或感觉你们经历相似。
Don't try to relate your own experiences to what they're going through.
不要尝试将你自己的经历和他们的相联系。
Suicidal person will most likely reject this advice because they believe it does not apply to them
自杀者很可能会拒绝这个建议，因为他们相信这对他们没用
Instead, focus on trying to listen to them and trying to understand their own unique circumstances as best you can.
相反，你应该专注于倾听他们，试着理解他们的特殊情况。
4. Use their own belief system to convince them.
4. 利用他们自己的信仰体系说服他们。
The same study as previously mentioned provides one more great piece of advice.
先前提到的同一研究提供了一种更好的建议。
Researchers revealed that you can help suicidal people choose life by learning about their personal beliefs
研究者发现你可以通过学习他们的个人信仰帮助这些自杀者选择活下去
and using them to convince the person not to commit suicide.
并利用这些个人信仰说服他们不要自杀。
If they believe in a specific religion, use teachings from that religion to convince them about the value of life,
如果他们相信某种宗教，就利用宗教的教义说服他们珍视生命，
if they believe in nothing at all, you can use that to convince them as well by saying things like,
如果他们什么都不信，你也可以告诉他们，
'you only live once, why not make the most out of it?'
‘生命只有一次，为什么不充分利用？’
5. Encourage them to see a professional.
5. 鼓励他们看专业医生。
One of the best thing to do, if not the best thing to do to help suicidal people
即使不是帮助自杀者最好的办法，我们能做的最好的事之一
is to encourage them to see a mental health professional.
就是鼓励他们去看精神医疗专业人员。
That's not to say you should refuse to help them, telling them to get help and walk away, that would not go down well.
这并不是说，你应该拒绝帮助他们、告诉他们找别人帮忙然后走开，这样会使事情变得糟糕。
What you can do is let them know that you're there for them, listen carefully and then encourage them to get help.
你能做的就是让他们知道你会在他们身边，仔细倾听，然后鼓励他们寻求专业帮助。
You have to remember that you're not a professional,
你需要记住你并不是专业人员，
you're not trained in this and you don't have the resources to help,
你也没有经过专业培训，你没有提供帮助的资源，
unless of course, you are a trained mental health professional.
当然，除非你就是经过训练的精神医疗专业人员。
6. Take them seriously.
6. 严肃对待。
There has been a huge tendency to dismiss the validity of suicidal tendencies throughout the years.
这些年来，有一种巨大的消除自杀倾向有效性的趋势。
People often say things like, 'they're just doing it for attention or you'll never actually go through with it'.
人们常说，‘他们这么做只是为了博关注，或者你根本不会这么做的’。
This is perhaps the worse outlook you could take when it comes to suicidal people.
当对方是自杀者时，可能这是你所采取的最糟糕的观点了。
You have to take them seriously.
你需要严肃对待他们。
If no one pays attention to them or displays any concern, this might actually push them further towards suicide.
如果没有人注意到他们或是没有表现出任何关心，就可能把他们推向了自杀的边缘。
It makes them feel alone.
这会让他们感觉孤独。
Studies have shown that the vast majority of people who have committed suicide displayed warning signs before taking their own lives.
研究发现大部分想自杀的人会在自杀前展现出警示迹象。
In addition, a study in Finland found that 10% of people who committed suicide
此外，一项在芬兰的研究发现，10%的自杀者
saw a health professional within 24 hours of taking their own lives.
在自杀前24小时内，去看过健康专业人员。
