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Yesterday were the midterm elections,
昨天是中期选举的日子
otherwise known as the elections that you guys didn't vote in.
或者说是你们不投票的日子
But all over America, people were voting on topics as important as
但是在全美境内 什么事都要投票
the legalization of marijuana all the way down to the little stuff like you know, basic human rights.
大到大麻的合法化 小到你们懂的 基本人权
But in Ohio, people voted on issue 3,
但在俄亥俄州 人们在对第三个问题进行投票
a referendum which would have had to legalize marijuana in that state, but it did not pass.
即大麻合法化问题时 该法案未获得通过
I know, which is a shame, because we all know, the rule is puff, puff, pass.
我知道 这简直是个耻辱 这年头这类法案不都是眼一闭就通过了嘛
That's right, it remains illegal to get high in Ohio.
所以 在俄亥俄州吸大麻依然是非法的
Which means there is still no legal way to enjoy a Cleveland Browns game.
也就是说现在依然没有玩克里夫兰游戏的合法方式
Now, people are saying the initiative did not pass
大家都说这一提案未获通过的原因是
because it would have allowed giant corporations to control the marijuana industry.
一旦通过 大型企业将会控制大麻行业
Which is a huge bummer,
我真的太失望了
because I was really excited to buy pot from a place called Starblunts.
因为我真的想试试在星巴克买大麻的感觉
Do you know what I mean?
你们能理解吗
Or go to Chipotle leaf, do you know what I mean?
或者去Chipotle店
And enjoy a burrito bowl. Thank you very much.
吃一顿卷饼 谢谢
But one of the corporations that would have been able to grow weed was owned by Nick Lachey from the band 98 degrees.
但是能种植大麻的公司其中一个是乐队98度里的尼克·拉奇家的
You remember him? Yeah. I know.
你们还记得他吗 嗯 我明白的
So if you're wondering who the Snoop Dogg of Ohio is, it's this guy. There he is.
如果你们不知道是谁的话 就是这位 就是他
Look at him. I mean a beautiful face
看看 多么完美的一张脸啊
but honestly they should use that photo to stop people from getting tattoos, shouldn't they?
但是说真的 这张照片应该用来阻止别人纹身 不是吗
Do you know what I mean?
你们能理解吗
You sure you want to do this?
你确定要纹身吗
Let me show you this no, I thought as much.
先看看这张照片吧 我仔细想了一下 还是不用了
Nice to see you, see you later.
很高兴见到你 再见
But at least Ohio got legalization on the ballot.
但至少 俄亥俄州投票是合法的
Because in Arkansas, a proposal to legalize marijuana was rejected and I'm not making this up
因为在阿肯萨斯 一项建议大麻合法化的提案被驳回了 这可不是我编的
it was rejected because it had too many spelling and grammar errors.
驳回理由是提案里太多拼写和语法错误了
Arkansas, way to live up to the stereotype. Do you know what I mean?
阿肯萨斯州 教你写出最标准的文件
I'm totally baffled by this
我看到这个还困惑了好久
because normally bills are rejected in Arkansas because they use too many words.
因为通常阿肯萨斯州的提案被拒绝都是因为文字太多了
Do you know what I mean?
能理解吗
Oh, man, I zoned out after like the sixth word.
天 我看到第六个词就不想往下看了
You've got to be putting pictures in there or something, you know?
就不能换成图片或者别的什么吗
Come on. Not a bad accent but by far one of the most important votes happened in Houston, Texas,
不是吧 我这个口音还挺像的好吧 目前 最重要的投票是德克萨斯 休斯敦的投票
where citizens voted to repeal an equal rights provision that offered protections to transgender people.
投票的目的是要废除给变性人与其他人平等权力的条款
Opponents of the equal rights law even had the support of a former major league baseball player.
这项规定的反对者还包括一个橄榄球联盟的前运动员
I'm Lance Berkman,
我是兰斯·伯格曼
proposition one will allow men who claim to be women to interwomen's bathrooms, showers and locker rooms.
一号法案会让声称自己是女性的男性进入女性的洗手间 浴室以及更衣室
It's better to prevent this danger by closing women's restrooms to men
与其等待犯罪发生
rather than waiting for a crime to happen.
不如提前阻止男性进入女性场所
Right. Two things.
说得对 只有两件事
First of all, if someone's a creep, they're a creep, right.
一 如果一个人是跟踪狂 那他怎样都是跟踪狂 对吗
And an LGTB law has nothing to do with it.
LGBT法案对这种人一点儿用都没有
One way or another, it's not like some sexual predict is hiding into a woman's bathroom,
反正他怎样都会犯罪 一个性侵犯藏进女洗手间里
sees the sign and goes I'm foiled again.
看见这些字样 并不会说“啊 这里也不让我进”然后离开
Do you know what I mean? It's ridiculous.
明白吗 这太荒唐了
But more importantly, a man who transitions to a woman
但更重要的是 如果一名男性变性成为了一名女性
and wants to use the women's restroom isn't a man using the women's restroom.
当他使用女性洗手间时 并不是以一名男性的身份
She's a woman using the women's restroom
她此时是一名女性
and the men who have transitioned on is a dangerous way of thinking.
如果你把他定义为“变了性的男人” 这是种很危险的想法
We're all hopefully learning to move beyond.
对这类事希望大家能更包容一点
Like thinking the confederate flag stands for southern pride or marriage is only between a man and a woman
比如联邦国旗代表着南方人的骄傲啦 婚姻只能发生在一男一女之间啦
or that Bill Cosby just likes to make a mean cocktail.
或者比尔·科斯比只喜欢做劣质鸡尾酒
I don't know, you know, maybe bathrooms really are dangerous for women.
我也说不清楚 可能对于女性来说洗手间真的是个很危险的地方吧
You know, they do always go in there in groups.
不然为什么他们每次去洗手间都要成群结队呢
And honestly, I've been thinking about this and if we're banning people,
说真的 我有时候会有这种想法
let's ban men from men's bathrooms because men are disgusting.
我们不让男的上男洗手间怎么样 因为男人真的很恶心
Have you ever been in a men's bathroom?
你们去过男洗手间吗
Everything is wet in a way you don't understand how it got to be that way.
所有的东西都是湿的 你都想不明白为什么会湿成这样
Let's just ban bathrooms.
或者干脆把洗手间禁掉好了
Only disgusting things happen in bathrooms.
洗手间里只会发生令人恶心的事
Let's just dig a hole in the ground and put a sign on it that says people.
我们干脆在地上挖个坑 旁边竖个牌子 写着
If you can't hold it till you get home, that's your only option.
听着 如果你真的没办法憋到回家再上的话 这个坑是你唯一的选择
So that's it. We've settled it.
这样问题就解决了
No weed. No men. No bathrooms. No problem.
没有大麻 没有男人 没有洗手间 没有麻烦事
I'm moving back to England.
我还是回英国好了
