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We've all missed someone so much that we start to romanticize the past.
我们都会非常想念某个人并开始将两人之间的过去浪漫化。
It throws off your judgement and soon you're overwhelmed with just wanting to be with that person again.
这样只会让你失去判断力，很快你的脑袋里就会充斥着想要再和那个人复合的念头，
While people often say that absence makes the heart grow fonder,
虽然人们常说久别情更深，
it instead, allows feelings of being miserable and empty to grow instead.
但这样只会滋生痛苦和空虚的感觉。
Before deciding to get back together with your ex, watch this video for reasons about why you shouldn't.
在决定要和你的前任复合之前，请看看本期解释为什么你不应该和前任复合的视频。
After you've been separated from someone, there's a tendency to romanticize the past,
在和某人分手后就会出现将你们之间的过去浪漫化的趋势，
meaning that you focus only on the good things that happened and ignore all the bad.
这意味着你只关注于你们之间美好的事情而忽略了所有糟糕的事情。
By blocking out all the reasons why you two didn't work out, you're recreating a false image of that person.
通过封闭你俩分开的所有原因，你不过是重新创造出了那个人的假象。
You're remembering somebody who didn't really exist.
你不过是在想念那个并不存在的人。
When you remember only the good, you no longer miss your ex and instead miss the idea of them.
当你只想着那个人的好时，你就不再想念年你的前任了，你只是在想念那个假象。
For example, say you just broke up with person A, you start to miss them and think of all the good times you had together,
例如，假设你和A分手后，你开始想念他们并怀念你们在一起时的甜蜜，
ignoring all the times you and person A fought or argued.
而忽略了和A之间的争吵。
You focus so much on all the good things about person A that you've created a whole new person, person B.
你过于关注和A之间的欢乐，因此你创造出了一个全新的人物-B。
You don't really miss person A because you miss person B, who sadly is only an idea.
你并不是真的想念A，而是在想念B，那个假象的人物。
Instead of blocking out the bad things that happened, focus on them, so you can learn,
不要阻挡那些糟糕的事情，你要关注它们，这样你才能有所得
learn what personality traits you want to look for and what traits you want to stay away from?
才能了解自己想要找什么性格的人以及不喜欢什么性格的人。
Let yourself grow and move on.
让自己成长并向前看。
Breaking up is a drastic change and no one likes change.
分手是个巨大的变化，没人喜欢变化。
It's natural to crave familiarity, so we often go back to whatever we just lost whether it was healthy or not.
渴望亲密是很自然的事情，所以我们经常追寻已经失去的东西，不论好与坏。
You aren't used to being alone or dealing with the loud thoughts in your head.
你不习惯孤独或是处理脑海里的强烈想法。
You're used to having person A to talk to, so not having them around is frustrating and leaves you with a sense of emptiness.
你习惯了A的陪伴，因此他们不在身边会让你沮丧和空虚。
It was comforting having person A around to talk to, why would you want to keep them away?
有A的陪伴令人欣慰，所以为什么会想要远离他们呢？
However, while familiarity is comforting, you must remember that familiarity isn't always the healthiest choice.
然而，虽然亲密令人舒适，但你必须记住亲密并不总是最好的选择。
Sometime you need to step out of your comfort zone to be happy.
有时，你需要走出自己的舒适区才能获得快乐。
Coupled with familiarity.
和亲密相结合。
After our breakup you end up yearning for closeness.
分手后，你应该停止对亲密的渴望。
Being close with someone is a special feeling, one that often leaves you feeling empty once gone
和某人亲近是一种特别的感觉，当他们离开，你会感到空虚
You miss knowing the other person inside and out and them knowing you as well,
你想念那个你十分了解的人，而他们也很了解你，
however, remember that being close to someone isn't restricted to that specific person
但是记住和某人亲近并不仅限于那个特别的人
and being close in general doesn't necessarily create happiness.
通常和别人亲近并不总是能创造出幸福。
Instead of focusing on the crave for companionship, focus on yourself and how you can be happy being on your own.
停止专注于对陪伴的渴望，而专注于你自己以及怎样才能成为快乐的自己。
You both have changed since you first started going out.
当你们第一次开始约会时，你们都已经改变了。
Your experiences together have shaped who you've become and you are no longer the same people you once were.
你们两的经历造就了现在的你们，而你们也不再是曾经的自己了。
As you grew as people, you also grew apart. You could no longer change together, so you had to make the ultimate change and breakup
当你们开始成长，隔阂也开始滋生。你们无法一起改变，所以你们做出了最终的改变，然后分手。
Change is never fun and it can be tempting to avoid it altogether but stopping yourself from growing is not the solution.
改变从来都不是好玩的事情，很容易就想避开改变，但停止成长从不是解决办法。
You should continue to help yourself grow in that process, you will find people who can grow alongside you.
你应该继续在这个过程中帮助自己的成长，你会找到能够伴随自己成长的人。
After pouring all your love energy and hard work into a person, it can feel like they owe you love,
在你将所有爱情能量和努力倾入那个人时，你会觉得他们对你有所亏欠，
but beating a dead horse won't do you any good.
但这不过是白费口舌，毫无益处。
You can never force somebody to love you, no matter how much you try.
不论你怎么努力都无法强迫别人爱你。
Human nature has us naturally rebel against force as we don't like being told to do things.
人性让我们反抗强压，因为我们不喜欢被要求怎么做。
This especially applies to love in relationships.
这一点尤其适用于恋爱关系。
Forcing someone to love you doesn't make them love you,
强迫别人爱你并不能让他们真的爱上你，
in the end, they may resent you, creating a larger gap between you than there was before.
最终他们可能会怨恨你，在你们之间制造出了更大的鸿沟。
Don't try to force love and you'll end up being happier.
不要强迫，你会更快乐一些。
Compatibility is key in a relationship, and when it's gone, there is little hope for success.
包容是恋爱关系的关键，没有包容性，成功的希望也很低。
When revealing yourself in a new relationship, this is when compatibility is tested and often fails.
当你在一段新的恋情中，显露真性情时，就是包容性的测试，但这经常失败。
As you learn more about each other, your true colors shine and you discover whether it's meant to last or not.
当你们了解对方时，你的真面目开始闪耀，你会对这段关系是否能够持续下去有所察觉。
After a breakup, as more time progresses,
分手后，随着时间的推移
it'll be easier to look back and see how you two were incompatible and are much better being separated.
很容易就会回忆过去，看看你们彼此是多么的不合适，分手是更好的选择。
It can be hard to see it in a heat of the moment
冲动时很难看到这些
but remember that it'll pass and you'll be happier being on your own.
但记住冲动会消退，自己一个人会更快乐。
Well, it may seem hard to see, someone else will come along and be a much better match for you.
很难说，就会有那么个人，出现并和你更加匹配。
You will have learned from your mistakes from your ex, so you know what to look for in your new partner.
你要从前任中了解自己的错误，这样你才能知道自己想找什么样的伴侣。
And you will be able to spot warning signs before they get out of hand.
你能够在他们失控之前，发现这些警示。
You will have grown as a person from your last relationship, able to handle different things.
你将从上一段关系中成长，能够应对不同事情。
You will be able to lead a new life and a new relationship staying on safe and healthy waters.
你将能够开始新的生活并开始新的恋爱。
Don't give up on love. It's out there, and you'll find it when you're ready.
不要放弃爱。爱就在那里，当你准备好时，他们就会出现。
Remember that it's healthier to let go and to hold on to a love that isn't there anymore.
记住放手和克制是更好的选择。
That's all from us, Psych2Go. What do you think of these reasons? Be sure to subscribe for more tips on living a healthy life.
本期视频来自Psych2Go。你认为还有那些原因呢？了解更多健康生活指南，请订阅我们的频道。
