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OK. All right. Now the first thing we're gonna kick out and this is important to me.
好 那么接下来要宣布第一件我们要让他滚出去的东西 这一点对我很重要
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you become with me on this.
女士们先生们 希望你们能和我站在同一阵线
The first thing we're kicking out
第一件要让它滚出去的事情是
is guys wearing professional bike uniforms to go on a bike ride.
骑自行车时穿一身专业自行车手才需要的制服
It is too much. Enough, right?
我们受够了 明白吗
Do you really need to put on a neon yellow spandex to ride a bike?
你骑自行车时真的需要穿上一件亮黄色的伸缩尼龙衣吗
It's not—you're not a professional bicyclist.
并不——你根本不是职业自行车手
You're an accountant that lives three doors away from me. All right?
你只是一个住处距离我家只有三户远的会计好吗
You spend more time putting on your special little Lycra suit than you do actually spend riding your bike!
你穿上那身莱卡特制运动衣的时间都比你骑自行车的时间长
You aren't in the tour de France, you're in the tour de riding your bike to Starbucks,
你不是在去法国的路上 你只是要骑着你的自行车去一趟星巴克
getting a cappuccino, hoping someone sees you in your special outfit and then riding it back home.
买一杯卡布奇诺 顺便期待一下有人能注意到你的装备 然后再骑回家
It's Saturday morning, I'm on a walk with my family,
每周六早上 我跟家人散步时
the last thing any member of the Corden family needs to see is every single contour of my neighbor's body.
我们最不想看到的就是我们邻居身体的每个细节
And I'm talking every single contour!
我说的是每个细节
I don't know why he dresses like that, but I know he is definitely Jewish, OK?
我不明白他为什么要穿成这样 我只知道他绝对是犹太人
That's why guys wearing professional bike uniforms to go on a bike ride, you're kicked out!
所以 穿专业自行车服骑自行车 滚出去
Kick it out.
滚出去
You're not a professional.
你根本不是职业车手
You're not a professional.
你根本不是职业车手
Just wear shorts and a T-shirt.
还是换成短袖短裤吧
Just wear shorts and a T-shirt.
还是换成短袖短裤吧
OK. Because that is gone, the thing that we're bringing back.
好 因为这件事被废止了 那么我们就要恢复一件事
We are bringing back baseball coaches who dress like gentlemen. All right?
我们要恢复棒球赛教练穿西装的传统
Now this is something that I never saw coming. OK?
目前 这一点我还没看人提过
Because I've seen football, and football coaches dress like this. Right?
我看过足球赛 他们的教练穿成这样 没错吧
Here's what a basketball coach dresses like. Good.
篮球教练穿这样 很棒
Here's what a hockey coach dresses like. Great.
冰球教练穿这样 帅
But then a couple weeks ago I was watching the world series,
然而 前几周我看棒球世界联赛的时候
and I found that this is what baseball coaches dress like.
我发现棒球教练居然穿成这样
Why are you wearing a uniform?
你穿制服干嘛
If there's an injury, you are going to put yourself in the game?
为了球员受伤的时候你去顶替一下吗
You're 70 years old.
你都70岁了啊
It looks like a wizard turned a baseball player into a grandfather. Right?
感觉像是有个巫师把棒球运动员一下变成一个老爷爷 不是吗
I found a picture. Here's what baseball coaches used to dress like. Right?
我还找到一张图 棒球教练以前明明是穿这样的
Look at him! Look at that man!
看看这位 看看
He looks like he's running for president!
他的穿着看起来像是要去竞选总统一样
That's how you're supposed to dress,
这才是棒球教练该有的打扮
not like your grandson begged you to dress up like a baseball player for Halloween.
而不是打扮得像是你孙子求你为了庆祝万圣节穿成一个棒球运动员一样
That's why baseball coaches who dress like gentlemen, we are bringing you're back!
所以 我们要恢复棒球教练穿西服的传统
Bringing you back.
要恢复
Suits and ties. Suits and ties.
穿西装 打领带 穿西装 打领带
What are you wearing cleats for?
你为什么要穿球鞋
What are you wearing cleats for?
你为什么要穿球鞋
Stop chewing gum while you're at it.
也别在看球的时候嚼口香糖
Stop chewing gum while you're at it.
也别在看球的时候嚼口香糖
OK, now. The next thing, this is a good one.
好 下一件 下一件是件好事儿
I really believe that this needs to be kicked out. OK?
我真的觉得这件事应该被废止
The next thing we are kicking out is new social media apps. OK?
它就是 没完没了的新社交软件
Come on! I can't keep up. I can't do it.
拜托 我根本赶不上你们开发的速度
I just downloaded Snapchat a week ago,
我上个星期才下载了快拍
I told my friends to add me on Snapchat, and they were like you're still on Snapchat?
告诉我的朋友们来加我 然后他们说 你怎么还在玩快拍啊
There's too many and they're coming thick and fast.
新的社交软件真的太多了 简直没完了
Facebook ran the internet for five years. That was perfect. Right?
脸书统领了互联网五年 这不是很好吗
Facebook had an entire lifecycle.
脸书已经有了非常完备的社交系统
We loved it, then we liked it, then our parents joined and we set our accounts to private. Right?
我们本来很喜欢 然后父母们也开始用了 我们就把我们的账号设成私人的了 不是吗
Sasha and Maliyah, I'm talking to you. OK?
萨沙还有玛利亚 我就是在说你俩
We don't need a million different ways to keep in touch with people we know,
我们根本不需要这么多种不同的方式来跟朋友保持联系
we're spending so much time downloading new social media apps that we don't spend any time,
我们已经在下载社交软件上花了太多时间
you know, actually being social. OK?
反而我们真正用来社交的时间没多少了
We don't need anymore.
我们真的用不了这么多
So Kik, Whisper, Snapchat, Periscope, Noknok, Line, and Quiket.
所以 kik 耳语 快拍 periscope 诺诺 连线和quiket
I don't know what any of you are, or I can assume you're just some new way for Millennials to share pictures of their penises,
我不知道你们是什么 但我估计你们也差不多就是00后晒性器官的地方
but either way, new social media apps your friends say you have to join
反正不管怎样 每次你的朋友都叫你去下什么新软件去加他们
and as soon as you join everyone says they are over it.
等你真的去加的时候 他们已经去玩别的软件了
We're kicking you out.
所以 形形色色的社交软件 滚出去
Kick it out
滚出去
It is too much.
太多了
It is too much.
太多了
I can't keep up with you.
跟不上你们开发的速度
I can't keep up with you.
跟不上你们开发的速度
I was happy with my space.
我自己待着挺好的
I was happy with my space.
我自己待着挺好的
OK. And with that gone, we are going to bring you back, I hope you come with me on this.
好 没有这些社交软件之后 我们将会恢复的是 这一点我希望你们支持我
I really do 'cause we are bringing back—
真的 因为我们要恢复的是——
having something happen to you and shutting the hell up about it.
自己的事自己知道就行了 不要告诉别人
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that.
谢谢 非常感谢
Listen. We don't need to share every single thing.
听着 没必要把所有的事都告诉别人
I don't care what you ate for lunch.
我不想知道你中午吃了什么
I don't care if you didn't like the movie pan.
也不在乎你是不是喜欢《小飞侠》
You're a person.
你是个人啊
Of course, you didn't like the movie pan. Right?
你当然不喜欢小飞侠 有什么问题吗
Some things that happen to you, aren't my business.
你身上发生的事 不关我的事
Here's my suggestion. Right?
这就是我的建议 明白吗
The only stories worth sharing with everyone you know are
真正有价值的 要跟身边所有人分享的事 只有
I got married, I had a kid, I got divorced, and I'm dying.
你结婚了 你生孩子了 你离婚了和你快死了
Anything other than that, I don't care. Right?
除了这些 我都不想知道 明白吗
Did our grandfathers really go to fight in World War II,
关于你爷爷真的参加了二战
so you can tell me about how the scones at Rebecca's diner aren't as good as they used to be?
因此你可以肯定的告诉我 丽贝卡家的松饼没有以前好吃了之类的事
Shut up! If you see something, don't say anything.
闭嘴吧 你知道的事 一样都不要告诉我
Having something happen to you and shutting the hell up about it, we're bringing you back.
让发生在自己身上的事自然发生 不要告诉其他人这个好习惯 我们要把它恢复了
Bring it back
恢复了
Just a bit of silence. Just a bit of silence.
安静点儿吧 安静点儿吧
I don't need a photo of the lunch.
我对你午餐的照片一点兴趣都没有
I don't need a photo of the lunch.
我对你午餐的照片一点兴趣都没有
OK, Now. Now, listen.
听着
It pains me to kick this next one out
下一件 把这个剔除我有点难过
because I know it brings a lot of joy to a lot of people,
因为它给很多人带来了很多欢乐
but honestly it's gone too far. OK?
但是目前的发展已经超出了预期
The next thing we're kicking out is pumpkin spice.
下一件我们要剔除的是南瓜香料
Splits the room. Splits the room. All right?
来 把演播室分成两边
Listen. It's not just lattes anymore.
听我说 南瓜风味的拿铁已经不是拿铁了
Now it's pumpkin spice everything.
现在到处都是南瓜口味的东西
Pumpkin spice oreos, pumpkin spice pancakes, pumpkin spice waffles,
南瓜味的奥利奥 南瓜味的卷饼 南瓜味的华夫饼
pumpkin spice pop tarts, pumpkin spice gum, there's even pumpkin spice pringles! Right?
南瓜味的馅饼 南瓜味的口香糖 连南瓜味的薯片都有了
If your girlfriend or boyfriend brings home pumpkin spice pringles,
如果你的女朋友或者男朋友买了南瓜味的薯片回家
pack your bags and leave.
赶紧收拾东西 跟他分手
Because they are a weak person and they cannot be counted on in an emergency.
因为他们都是内心软弱的人 大难临头的时候 都靠不住
And look, I understand why you like pumpkin spice lattes.
我也知道你们为什么喜欢南瓜味的拿铁
They're delicious and they taste like autumn.
因为很美味 像是秋天的味道
They're like a scarf you can drink.
又像是可以喝的围巾
But if you think you like them because they taste like pumpkin spice, let me ask you this.
但是 如果你以为你喜欢它 是因为它是南瓜味的 我来问问你
When was the last time you ate a pumpkin?
你上次吃南瓜是什么时候
'Cause I'm pretty sure you just like the taste of whip cream. OK?
我就知道你们只是喜欢鲜奶油的味道 没错吧
Pumpkin spice, we're kicking you out!
所以 南瓜香料 我们不要你啦
Kick it out
不要你啦
Who likes pumpkins anyway?
谁喜欢吃南瓜啊
Who likes pumpkins anyway?
谁喜欢吃南瓜啊
The whole thing is a racket.
南瓜香料就是个幌子
The whole thing is a racket.
南瓜香料就是个幌子
Holloway is gone. Holloway is gone.
万圣节早就已经结束了
OK, now. With pumpkin spice kicked out, that makes room for what we're bringing back. All right?
既然没有了南瓜香料 就有地方放别的东西了不是吗
Can I tell you what I want—he just went oh, no.
我想恢复的——刚那个人听到不要南瓜香料了就一副 不要啊 的表情
I'm bringing it back. You're going to like it.
我要恢复的东西 你们一定会喜欢
Come with me on this, OK?
记得要支持我 好吗
'Cause I can tell you what I want, what I really, really want.
我会告诉你 我最最最想要的
I will tell you what I want, what I really, really want.
我最最最想要的是
I want to bring back the spice girls.
辣妹组合回归
Yeah, I said it.
看 我就知道你们会是这样的反应
I'm talking about a girl group that covered all the bases.
英国辣妹组合赢得了所有人的支持
They were sporty, scary, baby, ginger and posh and you know why?
她们热情洋溢 元气满满 又优雅时髦 你们知道这是为什么吗
Because we're all sporty, scary, baby, ginger and posh sometimes.
因为我们也热情洋溢 元气满满 又优雅时髦
Everyone one of us. Even the guys. OK?
我们每个人都是这样的 男孩也不例外
They may have been the spice girls, but this is truly a spice world.
她们是辣妹组合 这是一个火辣的世界
That's why I'm giving you everything. OK?
所以我要给你们一切
That's why I'm gonna spice up your life.
所以 要让你们的生活也变得火辣
I'm not just going to show you what happens when two become one,
我不仅要告诉你们当两个人合二为一（辣妹组合歌曲名）时会发生什么
I'm going to remind you what happens when five women from England become one of the greatest girl groups in the history of the world!
我还要让你们看到 当五个英国女孩成了世界上最火的女子团体时会发生什么
That's why spice girls, we are bringing you're back.
所以 辣妹组合 要回归啦
Bring it back
回归
Sing it to the left. Sing it to the left.
让左边观众听见你们的歌声 让左边观众听见你们的歌声
Shake it to the right. Shake it to the right.
用歌声去打动右边的观众 用歌声去打动右边的观众
