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Ladies and gentlemen, tonight was the fourth republican debate,
女士们先生们 今晚举行了共和党第四次辩论
and you could tell even before the debate
大家估计都知道 在辩论开始之前
that these candidates were ready to take on some hard questions.
候选人们都已经准备好面对刁钻的问题了
Check out what Jeb Bush said yesterday
看看杰布·布什昨天怎么回答
when asked how he would handle the menace that is baby Hitler.
如果他看到小时候的希特勒他会怎么做这个问题的
If you could go back in time and kill baby Hitler, would you? I need to know.
如果你能够回到过去 有机会杀死婴儿时期的希特勒的话 你会动手吗 请回答
Hell, yeah, I would!
靠 当然啊
Now, I'm OK with him saying he'd kill baby Hitler.
我觉得他说自己会杀死婴儿时期的希特勒这一点我是可以接受的
I'm not OK with him saying hell yeah he'd kill baby Hitler.
不能接受的部分是他说 靠 我当然会杀了小时候的希特勒啊
It's a complex hypothetical question,
这是个复杂的假设问题
not a waitress asking you if you want another plate of chicken wings, Jeb.
而不是一个服务员在问你要不要再来一盘鸡翅啊 杰布
These are the only times it's OK to say, hell yeah.
以下才是你能说 靠 当然啊 的场合
Jeb, would you like to go check out some monster trucks?
杰布 你能去检查一下怪物大脚车吗
Hell yeah, I would.
靠 当然啊
Hey, Jeb, you want to get matching barbed wire tattoos?
杰布 你会把球场上的球网文在身上吗
Hell, yeah, I would.
靠 当然啊
Jeb, if you woke up tomorrow as Kid Rock, would you be happy?
杰布 如果你有一天醒来发现自己变成了基德·洛克 你会开心吗
Hell, yeah, I would.
靠 当然啊
Thank you very much. Thank you.
谢谢 谢谢
When he changed his campaign slogan to Jeb can fix it,
当他把自己的竞选口号改成 杰布能搞定时
I really thought he meant do something more practical like fix the economy.
我真的以为他是说 他会做些实事 比如搞定经济什么的
Not time travel. Do you know what I mean?
而不是时光旅行 你们明白吗
While we're taping this, the debates have not yet happened,
我们录这期节目的时候 辩论还没有进行
but I'm kind of hoping they ask the other candidates what they would do if they had a time machine.
但我有点儿期待记者问其他候选人如果他们有时光机 他们会干什么
I think Ben Carson would travel back to his childhood so that he can really stab that guy.
我猜本·卡森会想要回到自己童年时期 然后真的捅死那个朋友
You know Carly Fiorina would go back to that one week when she had great poll numbers.
卡莉·菲奥莉娜会回到自己票数最高的前一周
I'm kidding.
开玩笑的
Carly Fiorina would go back to when she laid off 30,000 HP employees
卡莉·菲奥莉娜会回到自己裁掉三万惠普员工的时候
just to cackle and taste the blood again.
在品尝一遍鲜血的味道
Oh, yeah. It is not all friendly. It is not all fun.
嗯 这个不太友好 也没什么意思
Just because it is like a chubby British guy, it doesn't mean, you know.
因为你不能看到一个胖乎乎的英国男人就觉得他 嗯 你懂的
Ted Cruz would go back to the 1300's,
泰德·科鲁兹会回到13世纪
just so he could live in a time where his political views were mainstream.
这样的话 他的政见会比较符合主流思想
And Donald Trump actually claimed to already have a time machine. It is true.
而唐纳德·特朗普已经宣布自己有时光机了 真的
He said, it's huge and beautiful
他说 时光机很大 很美
and I made Mexico pay for it.
我叫墨西哥人付钱造的
Oh, come on. It wasn't that good.
不是吧 这个也没那么好笑啊
I know what I would do if I had a time machine. You know what I would do?
我知道我有时光机的话会做什么 你们知道吗
I would travel forward in time to when this election is over.
我会去到这次大选结束的时候
That's what I would do.
我就这么干
Would you be OK with you Jeb Bush?
杰布·布什 你觉得可以吗
Hell, yeah, it would.
靠 当然啊
