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Welcome back to the show!
欢迎回来
Ladies and gentlemen, this is a great night for us.
女士们先生们 今夜对我们来说非常重要
We're always excited on the show to find new talented voices that can contribute to our program
当我们在节目中 听到与众不同的声音 我们总是很激动
so we are very pleased to welcome our newest contributor from south Africa, Mr. Trevor Noah!
所以 我们很高兴地请来了来自南非的通讯员 特雷弗·诺阿先生
Trevor, thanks for joining us. Nice to see ya!
特雷弗 谢谢你的到来 很高兴能见到你
Welcome, sir! Thank you very much.
欢迎 谢谢
How are you?
怎么样
We're really delighted that you're going to be joining us.
知道你要上节目我们都很开心
And I know you flew in just yesterday from South Africa.
你是昨天才从南非飞过来的对吧
Yeah, I just flew in and boy are my arms tired!
对 我刚来 胳膊很累
Okay. All right there, oldie but a goodie. Very nice.
嗯 好吧 笑话很老 但挺好笑 很好
No, no, seriously, I've been holding my arms like this since I got here.
不 不 我说真的 我来美国之后手一直这么举着的
Yeah, I never thought I'd be more afraid of police in America than in South Africa.
真的 我从来没想过我在美国会比在南非还害怕警察
It kind of makes me a little nostalgic for the old days back home.
我都有点儿想家了
That's just—come on, are you saying black people in South Africa today
这个只是——不是吧 难道你是想说现在南非的警察
don't get assaulted and killed by police?
不会袭击或者杀黑人了吗
Oh no, no, I mean they do,
当然不是 南非的警察也动手
but since apartheid ended they're now also getting killed by black police. Progress.
但是种族隔离政策废止之后 南非的黑人警察也开始杀黑人了 算是进步吧
Well that's, that's, listen, baby steps.
啊 那 算是进步了一小步吧
But you're relaxed now, you're not nervous, you feel good.
但是只要你现在觉得很放松 不必感到紧张 就行了
I'm just a little bit nervous, to be honest.
说真的 我有点儿紧张
Between your cops, and, frankly, your Ebola.
有点儿怕你们的警察 说直白一点儿的话 还怕你们的埃博拉病毒
Your Ebola, my friend!
搞清楚啊 是你们的埃博拉
It's not our, believe me, he mispoke—
那可不是我们——相信我 是他口误
you are from Africa, it's your Ebola, my friend.
你从非洲来的 埃博拉是你们那传过来的啊 朋友
No, no. No, no. South Africa, Jon.
不不不 我是南非来的 囧
We haven't had a single case in over 18 years.
我们在过去18年里 从没发生过一例埃博拉感染
In fact, my friends warned me,
事实上 我来之前 我朋友们还警告我说
they were like Trevor, don't go, don't go to the U.S., you'll catch Ebola!
特雷弗 别去美国 你会感染埃博拉病毒的
But I was like, you know what, guys?
但是我说 你们知道吗
Just because they had a few cases of Ebola doesn't mean we should cut off travel there.
我们不能因为美国有几例埃博拉感染就不去美国了啊
That would be ignorant. Right?
那多无知啊 是吧
Sure—that, that, that would be ignorant.
当然——是 是挺无知的
You know, I guess we tend to forget that South Africa,
我们老是会忘记南非
You know, isn't, you know, right next door to Liberia. Right?
并不跟利比亚接壤 是吧
It's 4,000 miles away.
我们中间隔着4000英里
That's what I, yeah, I was calculating in kilometers.
我 额 还在试图换算成千米
I'm sure you were, Jon. Thanks.
嗯 我理解的 囧 谢谢
I know. You know what, to a lot of Americans Africa is just one giant village,
我知道 在很多美国人的印象里 非洲就像个巨大的农村
full of aids huts and starving children who you can save for just five cents a day!
到处都是援建的小屋 每天省下五美分就能就一个非洲的孩子
But there's a whole other side of Africa you never get to see.
但非洲还有另一面 你永远都不知道
Yeah! You've got that video of the lions who chase that buffalo,
对 我看过一个视频 一只狮子在追一头牛
and then the crocodile comes up and he grabs it, you know what I mean?
然后一只鳄鱼爬出来 把狮子咬死了 你看过吗
And then he goes—yeah, yeah, and then the buffalo gets away.
然后——对 然后牛逃走了
Yes. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, yeah yeah!
对 那个视频挺好玩的 对对对
But that's not what I'm talking about. Nope, me neither.
但我说的不是这个 当然 我说的也不是
Jon, you know what? Let's play a little game.
囧 我们来玩儿个小游戏吧
It's called spot the Africa.
叫做 聚焦非洲
This doesn't involve me identifying anything on a map, right?
不需要我在地图上找出某个地方吧
No, no. I wouldn't do that to you. Thank you.
不用 不会让你做这个的 那就谢谢了
Just tell me which of these pictures was taken in America and which is from Africa.
只要告诉我这两张照片哪张在美国拍的 哪张在非洲拍的就行
Okay, I got this.
好 我知道了
The beautiful highway on the right there, probably silicon valley, it's probably heading off to Twitter there.
右边这条高速公路可能是在硅谷拍的 也许是通向推特总部的路
The one on the left, clearly been shelled by rebels, I'm gonna go with Somalia, maybe. And—
左边这张 很明显被武装轰炸过 我猜是拍的索马里 还有——
actually, the road on the right is a superhighway in central Africa,
实际上 右边这条高速公路就在非洲中部
the photo on the left I took from my cab on my way here from the airport.
左边的照片是我从机场过来时在出租上拍的
Yeah, that's the F.D.R.!
对 就是快速通道
Try again. Try again.
再来一次 再来一次
Alright, alright. Okay, this one's easy.
好 好 这个简单
On the left there that's the success academy in Harlem.
左边这个应该是哈林区的学校
On the right there we got, you know, we got homeless kids.
右边的上面是个无家可归的孩子
I'm going with in Somalia again.
我猜还是索马里
I think that's my go to reference.
这就是我的答案
Somalia. Homeless kids.
索马里的无家可归的孩子
I'm sorry, Jon.
抱歉 囧
The answer I was looking for was classroom in Kenya on the left
正确答案是 左边是肯尼亚的教室
and children in Detroit on the right.
右边是底特律的孩子
Last one.
最后一个
I hate this...game.
我恨这个……游戏
Alright, now, I get how this works now.
好 我现在搞清楚你的套路了
The one on the right there, that's Detroit, right? Okay? And then uh—
右边的是底特律 没错吧 然后——
well actually, that's, that's a slum in Johannesburg.
事实上 这是约翰尼斯堡的一个贫民窟
Some places in Africa are still pretty...
非洲有些地方依然很破
Alright, I get your point there, Trevor.
好吧 我明白了 特雷弗
But you're not saying that things in Africa are better than they are in America, are you?
但你应该不是想说非洲的东西比美国好吧
No, no, no, I'm not saying that.
不不不 这可不是我说的
You guys are saying that.
这是你们美国人自己说的
The United States right now incarcerates more African-Americans as a percentage
现在 美国监狱里关着的非洲裔美国人的比率
than apartheid in South Africa did.
比南非种族隔离时期还大
The race gap in wealth in the United States right now between the median white family and the median black family is 18 fold.
美国现在白人中产阶级和黑人中产阶级的贫富差距达到了18倍
That's greater than the black-white gap was in apartheid South Africa.
也比南非种族隔离时期白人和黑人的差距要大
Oh my god.
天
Here's the amazing part.
厉害的来了
For South Africa to achieve that kind of black-white wealth gap,
在南非 白人黑人的贫富差距要达到你们现在这个水平
we had to construct an entire apartheid state,
我们需要建一个种族隔离区
denying blacks the right to vote or own property.
再剥夺黑人的投票权和财产权才行
But you, you did it without even trying!
而你们 毫不费力就做到了
We trained for decades and you just waltzed in and won the gold medal.
我们几十年来一直在奋斗的成果就这样被你们中途插进来 直接拿走了冠军
Well that's, you know, blundering into things is how we roll.
嗯 你知道的 我们运气很好的嘛
Well, at least we're getting better,
至少我们是在慢慢变好
we started from the bottom and now we're here.
我们从最底层开始 现在达到了这个水平
A little bit of drizzy. A little bit of drake right there. A little bit of—
我想起了德雷克·格瑞汉 有点儿——
I've never heard of her. Alright.
我没听说过这个女人 好吧
I've got to be honest, Jon.
说真的 囧
Africa is worried about you guys.
非洲人很担心你们
You know what African mothers tell their children every day?
你知道非洲的妈妈们怎么教育他们的孩子吗
Be grateful for what you have
对你所拥有的一切要心怀感恩
because there are fat children starving in Mississippi.
因为密西西比现在还有些胖孩子在挨饿
In fact, we are so worried that me and some of my friends in Soweto got together
我们真的很担心 我和锁韦托的朋友聚会时
and I told them, I said guys, for just a few pennies a day,
我还告诉他们 每天攒上一点钱
you can help an American.
就可以帮助一个美国人
That's very kind, Trevor.
特雷弗 你真是一个好人
Now they're expecting something from you in return.
现在他们希望你能回复些什么
They're expecting at least a letter a month.
至少一个月写一封信吧
No, I know. I know how that goes.
嗯 我知道 我知道
I know how—you have to write if you want, you know what, you can just draw a picture.
如果愿意的话你可以写信 或者就拍张照片也行
Will you put it up on the fridge? That's nice.
能帮我放到冰箱吗 谢谢
Oh and you know what? We wrote a song for you as well.
而且你知道吗 我们还给你们写了一首歌
Alright. I'm looking forward to this.
好啊 这个我喜欢
Yeah, yeah. Goes a little something like this.
嗯 是这样唱的
Feed America. Let them know it's Christmas time. Oh, no!
救救美国吧 让他们知道圣诞节到了 别 别
Alright no, please! We can't—feed America.
求你了 救救美国吧
Everybody now! Let them know it's Christmastime
大家一起来 让他们知道圣诞节到了
Trevor Noah, everybody!
大家掌声送给特雷弗·诺阿
