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Here's what people are talking about. I saw that today a White House adviser compared President Trump to Houdini...
下面是最近比较热门的话题，今天白宫顾问将小特比作魔幻师胡迪尼。
because "If you keep him in a cage, he's gonna get out."
因为他说，如果你把他关在笼子里，他能想办法出来。
When asked how he knows that, he said cause we put him in a cage, he got out. Yeah, that's right.
当有人问你是怎么知道的，他说因为我们把他关里面了，他出来了，没错。
He said Trump's like Houdini. If you think about it, Trump is a pretty good magician,
他说小特就是特别像胡迪尼，大家可以想一想，小特确实是一个优秀的魔术师，
cause in the past year he sawed his approval rating in half and made everyone who worked for him disappear. So that's not bad.
因为在过去一年里，他将自己的支持率减半，所有为他工作的人都消失了，不错哦。
I'll give it up. In the meantime, Trump keeps demanding money for his border wall,
我也不干了，与此同时，小特正在为他的边境墙要钱，
even though there are limited funds. Trump is like that couple on House Hunters
尽管资金有限，但小特就像真人秀《寻房达人》中的夫妻俩，
who wants a five-bedroom mansion on a 70,000 dollars budget. It's like and it has to have marble countertops.
他们希望购买一套五室的豪宅，但预算只有7万美金，厨房用桌一定是大理石的。
That is a must. I won't even look at it.
这是必须的，想都不用想。
Still, the White House is calling the deal that reopened the government a win for Republicans
还是白宫，白宫称对于共和党而言，此次“开张”协议是一次胜利，
and a loss for Senator Chuck Schumer. Well, we actually got ahold of Schumer, and here's what he had to say.
但对参议员查克·舒默来说就是失败，我们采访了舒默，来看看他是怎么说的。
First he said this was a temporary deal to get the government up and running again.
他首先说，此次临时协议让政府重新开张运行。
Then he said Mitch McConnell promised me that we will talk about DACA.
随后他说明奇·麦康奈尔向我承诺，说我们要讨论“追梦人”计划。
Then he said we didn't cave and we'll continue fighting for the American people.
然后他说我们不会退缩，我们要继续为美国民众谋福利。
Then he said ish not sho hard to shhe that the Republiblicansh won't negoshibate fairbly.
然后他又说，我成向工吃党不会轻易和我们贪吃。
And finally his necklace said dude, I'm actually a pari of glasses.
最后他的项链说伙计，我其实是一副眼睛。
It just kept going, falling as he was...
它老是掉下来，老是掉下来。
Meanwhile, the White House announced new restrictions on washing machines imported to the U.S.
与此同时，白宫宣布对美国进口的洗衣机进行限制。
It's partially to protect consumers, mainly cause Trump was eating too many Tide Pods.
部分原因是保护消费者，部分是因为小特吃了太多的汰渍洗衣球。
And he... Don't do that. Don't do that.
千万别做，别做。
I saw that Melania was supposed to go to Switzerland with Donald this week,
梅拉尼娅本周应该和小特去瑞士的，
but is backing out due to "logistical issues."
但她因为“逻辑问题”不去了。
It turns out Melania uses a lot of different excuses to get out of things with her husband.
事情是这样的，梅拉尼娅用了许多借口和他丈夫脱清关系。
She even has her own excuse generator to come up with them. I'll show you how it works.
她甚至有自己的“借口机”来帮助她，来让我们看看。
For example, when Donald asks do you want to join me at a campaign fundraiser?
比方说，小特问她你希望和我参加筹款活动吗？
She says unfortunately I'm actually attending a fundraiser for Oprah.
她说不行，我要参加奥普拉的筹款活动。
It works. You see how it works? Next up, when Donald asks do you want to watch the Super Bowl with me?
挺管用的，看看下面的，小特问你愿意和我一起看超级碗比赛吗？
She says I totally would, but there's a government shutdown in my mind.
她说我非常愿意，但我一直在想着政府关门这件事。
Wow. And finally, when Donald asks, do you want to have dinner with the British ambassador?
老天，小特问道你愿意和英国大使用餐吗？
she says I can't, I have an appointment to take our dog to the vet right after I buy us a dog.
她说我不能，我约了兽医，我要带狗看病，但前提是我要先买一只。
Well, that's interesting. You don't have a dog.
太有趣了，根本就没狗。
Hey. Oscar nominees were announced today, you guys. The nominees... It's exciting.
奥斯卡今天宣布了候选名单，太兴奋了。
Nominees for Best Picture include Lady Bird, Get Out and The Shape of Water.
最佳影片奖包括《伯德小姐》《逃出绝命镇》以及《水形物语》
While the favorite for Worst Picture is still this. Ooh, that's unfortunate.
最差影片奖依然是这个，太不幸了。
Hey, this is cool. The History Channel show Pawn Stars is celebrating its 500th episode.
下面这个有意思，历史频道节目《典当之星》庆祝它的第500集。
To celebrate, the network gave the producers gold watches, which they immediately knew were fake.
为了庆祝这一时刻，频道给制作方颁发了金手表，但他们一眼就知道是假的。
Finally, I saw that a grocery store in Scotland had to let an employee go for not being helpful enough to customers.
最后，苏格兰的一家小卖部解雇了一名员工，原因是他没有为这名顾客提供什么帮助。
But it's kind of an odd story. Take a look at this video.
故事有点古怪，来看看这个。
A Pepper robot named Fabio was recently given his rolling papers from a Scottish grocery store
苏格兰一家小卖部解雇了名叫“法比奥”的Pepper机器人，
after he failed at, well, being human.
因为它并不是人，也没法像人一样。
He allegedly would not listen to directions and had often directed people to the alcohol aisle
他被指无法听从指令，经常将人们带向酒精专柜，
when it didn't know how to answer a customer.
尤其是当它没法回答客人问题的时候。
The good news is, when they heard he wasn't helping anyone, he was immediately hired by Home Depot.
好消息是，当它听说他没什么用之后，它马上被家得宝接纳了。
There you go. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots, everybody!
今晚的节目非常精彩，女士们先生们掌声送给紫根合唱团。
