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You guys, today is the first day of spring! Yes!
朋友们今天是春天的第一天，没错！
I went outside, took a nice walk to the store.
我去了户外，去了商店。
Picked up supplies for the snowstorm we're getting tomorrow and...
明天将迎来暴风雪，我们要买些东西...
That's right，the East Coast is expecting a giant nor'easter tomorrow.
没错，东海岸明天将迎来暴风雪。
That's when you know 2018 belongs to women. Even Mother Nature is like,
你知道2018年属于女性，就连大自然都会说，
I'mma do me, and y'all can just deal. And you go...
我已经尽力了，你们自己看着办吧...
Let's get to some news here today. President Trump called Vladimir Putin
来看看今天有什么新闻，小特给普京打了电话，
to congratulate him on his re-election. Yep, he called Putin on the phone, or as Trump calls it a Pooty call.
祝贺他连任，没错他给普京打了电话，就像小特自己说的一样。
Oh, and listen to this, a former Playboy Playmate named Karen McDougal,
听听这个，前《花花公子》模特凯伦·麦克道戈
she says that she had an affair with Trump, and now she's suing him.
说她和小特有染，而且现在正在状告他。
You know things are crazy when you hear the President's being sued by a porn star, people go which one?
你知道总统被成人电影明星状告，这很不一般，人们会问哪个明星。
Oh, yeah, that one. Yeah, I did hear that one. Yeah, oh, I didn't know the other one.
没错，我知道这个，我不知道那个。
Some tech news here, in response to Facebook's big data breach, a lot of people are deleting their accounts.
来看看科技新闻，“脸书”发生数据泄密事件，许多人开始删除账号。
The only downside is, once they delete their Facebook account, there's nowhere to brag about.
唯一的缺点就是，一旦他们删除了“脸书”账号，他们没处发泄不满了。
They're like...Here's a picture of me on Instagram, deleting my Facebook account... with cat ears.
他们会说，这是我在“照片墙”的照片，删除“脸书”账号，还戴着猫耳朵。
That's right, Facebook had a massive data breach that's connected to Russia.
没错，“脸书”发生特大数据泄密事件，且与俄罗斯有关。
When users heard, they were concerned, but not as concerned as they were when their parents joined Facebook.
当网友听说以后，他们立马担心起来，但相比于父母加入“脸书”而言，这点算不了什么。
They go, That was, That was a bit much. I saw that Robert Mueller wants to interview Trump,
这太过分了，听说罗伯特·米勒将询问小特，
but the President's lawyers want to limit the conversation to certain topics.
但小特的律师希望将话题限制在特定领域。
So, right now, they're trying to compromise, based on what Mueller wants to talk about and what Trump wants to talk about.
如今，他们双方要进行妥协，一方面要考虑米勒想谈什么，又要考虑小特想谈什么。
I'll show you what I mean. For example, Robert Mueller wants to talk about Anthony Scaramucci.
我来告诉你什么意思，比如罗伯特·米勒想谈安东尼·斯卡拉穆奇。
Trump wants to talk about offshore drilling.
小特想谈海底钻井。
They're compromising and talking about the Jersey Shore reboot. Oh! Oh, hey! DJ Pauly D!
他们要相互妥协，所以他们的共同话题是《泽西海岸》重拍版，DJ保利·D。
I'll give you another example, Mueller wants to talk about Jared Kushner.
再给你举个例子，米勒想谈贾里德·库什纳。
Trump wants to talk about new drug laws. So they're compromising and talking about Dat Good Kush.
小特想谈新的禁毒法，所以他们的共同话题是烟草。
Good Kush? Really? Up next, Mueller wants to talk about George Papadopoulos.
烟草？下一个，米勒想谈一谈乔治·帕帕佐普洛斯。
Trump wants to talk about John Kelly. They're compromising and talking about Papa John's, hey. Hey.
小特想谈一谈约翰·克里，他们的共同话题是约翰棒，哦哦。
And finally, Mueller wants to talk about mistakes,
最后，米勒想谈一谈错误，
Trump wants to talk about himself. They're compromising and talking about Donald Trump Jr.
小特想谈谈他自己，所以他们的共同话题是小特朗普。
You guys... Oh! We have great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!
哈哈，今晚的节目非常精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
