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There's no such thing as a perfect family. Parents may often think they're doing what's best for their child because they love them.
根本就没有完美家庭这回事。父母们总认为他们爱自己的孩子，因此他们所做的一切都是为了孩子好。
But those actions may not always necessarily be healthy.
但是那些举动并不总是有利孩子健康发展的。
As children grow up and reach their teenage years, this is usually when things take a turn for the worst.
随着孩子成长到青少年时期，这些举动常会让事情变得更加糟糕。
Arguments may be frequent, misunderstandings increase and parents will begin to wonder what happened to the sweet child they used to play with.
频繁的争吵、误解的加深，父母们开始思考曾经的乖宝贝到底怎么了。
This is a concern commonly experienced and we want to help be a part of the solution.
这种担忧很普遍，我们希望能够提供一些建议。
Here's eight effective ways that can strengthen parent-teen relationships.
以下是增进亲自关系的8种有效方法。
1. Hug each other on a daily basis.
1. 每天彼此拥抱。
Psychologist Janice Kiecolt-Glaser states, "The older you are, the more fragile you are physically, so contact becomes increasingly important for good health."
心理学家贾妮丝·基科尔茨-格拉瑟说过，“随着年龄增长，生理上更加脆弱，因此身体接触愈加有利身体健康。”
When you enter your teenage years, you may be reluctant to hug your parents because it's no longer considered to be "cool."
当进入青少年时期，你或许会抗拒和父母拥抱，因为这样做不酷。
As you learn to be more independent, you may keep physical affection to a minimum.
因为学会了更加独立，你想将身体上的呵护降到最低。
However, hugging is good for your health and acts as a natural stress reliever.
然而拥抱不仅有利健康，还担任天然减压器的角色。
Approaching adulthood can be scary and challenging. When you hug your parents on a daily basis, it can act as a physical reminder that you're not alone.
进入成年有些恐怖且充满挑战。当你每天拥抱父母时，这种拥抱提醒你，你不是一个人。
Physical and emotional support are equally important when you work on fortifying relationships in general.
当你致力于增进关系时，身体和情感的支撑同等重要。
2. Turn off technology devices during interactions.
2.在交流时，关闭你的科技设备。
It can be hard to walk away from technology when we are constantly connected by it.
科技将我们相连，离开科技很困难。
You don't have to live in a cave to save your relationship with your parents, but it doesn't hurt to put your phone on silence
你不必居住在洞穴中来拯救你和父母间的关系，但是让手机静音不会伤害到你
so you don't feel obligated to respond to every email or text message when you're interacting with your parents.
这样当你和父母交流时，你也不会感到必须回复每一封邮件或短信。
When you're in the car with your family, it's also good practice to turn off the music so it gives you an opportunity to talk.
当和家人坐在车里，关掉音乐也是好做法，这样你们就有机会交谈了。
Although music can be a great way to bond by singing your favorite songs together, on bad days when communication is vital,
虽然一起唱歌是让你们相连的好方法，但当沟通居于首位时，音乐就不是好方法了，
it's good to stray from using technology as a means of escaping from one another.
不要让科技设备成为逃避的方法。
3. Connect before transitions or large decision-making.
3. 在过度期或重大决策前沟通。
Making transitions can be challenging, especially in your teenage years.
过度期充满挑战，特别是在青少年时期。
This is the time when your child begins to figure out who they are and the kind of life they want to live.
这个时候你的孩子开始琢磨自己是谁以及未来想要怎样的生活。
A lot of decision-making takes place. There are going to be many days when they are uncertain about which direction to take.
此时需要做大量决策。很多时候他们都不确定自己该如何选择。
Don't hesitate to reach out and let your child know you are there for them.
不要犹豫，让你的孩子知道你们在他们身边。
Give them advice and any insights you think will be helpful to them, but don't tell them directly what to do.
给他们一些你认为有帮助的建议和视角，但是不要直接告诉他们该怎么做。
Have them figure out what they want to do, but be supportive and understanding.
让他们自己琢磨自己想要什么，但是要给他们支持和理解。
4. Make time to spend quality one-on-one time with each other.
4. 花有效时间彼此相伴。
As you get older, more responsibilities tend to stack up on your plate.
随着年龄增长，你所承担的责任越多。
You start working more to build the skills you want for your desired career path and your friends move away to chase their own dreams.
你开始为你想要的职业道路学习技能，你的朋友们也开始追逐自己的梦想。
You're no longer in close proximity with them, so you have to schedule compatible times to see each other.
你和他们不再靠的很近，因此你需要安排共处时间和彼此会面。
This makes it incredibly easy to put your family on the backburner when you're already juggling work with your social life.
当你开始社交生活时，很容易就将你的家人放在不重要的位子。
But, don't forget to set aside time to spend quality one-on-one time with your parents.
但是不要忘记匀出时间和父母进行有质量的相处。
It can be extremely tempting to postpone plans when you may just want to be alone to unwind for a while or go out
我知道当你想要出去放松或出去玩
and engage with new faces in your networking circle, but this is how parent-teen relationships weaken.
和社交圈内的新朋友会面时，要推迟计划会极具诱人，但是正是因此，父母-孩子之间的关系才会弱化。
Distance is created and putting in effort becomes minimal to none.
距离的产生，所做的努力由最小值降为零。
Sustaining a strong relationship with your parents can be difficult with increasing age, but ghosting on them easily destroys it. It doesn't have to be a lot.
随着年龄增长，维持和父母之间的强劲关系变得很困难，但是放弃会轻易毁掉亲子关系。需要做的并不多。
You can spend 15 minutes each day to have meaningful conversations or set aside an hour during the weekend and make dinner together.
每天进行15分钟有意义的谈话或是在周末匀出一小时一起做晚餐。
5. Encourage emotions instead of shutting them out.
5. 鼓励情感而不是阻止。
Emotions are messy, but it's important to be mindful towards each other's feelings.
情绪散乱，但是留心彼此的情绪很重要。
Don't be quick to dismiss them, especially during arguments.
不要急于消除它们，特别是在争论的时候。
Regulating your emotions can be difficult when you are strongly affected by a situation,
当你受情景强烈影响时，管理自己情绪会很困难，
but keep in mind that a strong relationship is built upon the ways in which we communicate our emotions.
但是要记住牢固关系的建立基于我们沟通情感的方式
If your child is hurting, don't be neglectful towards them.
如果你的孩子处于困境，不要忽视他们。
Even if the both of you have a hard time talking about the source of pain, emotions can only be put off for so long until they explode.
即使谈论痛苦的源头很艰难，情绪只有爆发出来才能消除。
6. Listen to understand, not with the intent to react.
6. 倾听理解，不要有意做出反应。
When you're mad or disappointed in your child, it's easy to listen to them just to confirm your angry emotions.
当你对孩子生气或失望时，倾听他们只为确认你的愤怒情绪很容易。
Instead of being quick to react, take the time to listen and understand where your child is coming from.
不要迅速做出反应，花时间倾听并理解你的孩子。
Even if you wholeheartedly disagree with their actions or opinions,
即使你完全不同意孩子的行为或观点，
if you choose to yell at them, this may cause even more resentment between the both of you.
如果你选择朝他们大吼大叫，或许会造成你们之间更多的愤恨。
As a result, communication may suffer because your child may retreat and refuse to speak to you.
因此，由于孩子的退缩和拒绝交谈，让你们的沟通受阻。
Learn to work out your differences by broadening your perspective and finding a solution together where the both of you can benefit from.
学习通过扩展视角、找出有利彼此的方法来处理你们之间的不同。
7. Respect boundaries.
7. 尊重界限。
Toxic behavior derives from getting rid of boundaries.
有害的行为源于摒弃界限。
If you want to have a good relationship with your child, manifest healthy behavior by respecting their boundaries.
如果你想要和孩子有良好的关系，通过尊重他们的界限表现健康的行为。
This can be challenging on your end as your child begins wanting more privacy and freedom,
对你而言这样或具挑战性，因为你的孩子开始想要更多的隐私和自由，
but good parenting involves providing opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them.
但是好的教育方式需要提供犯错和学习的机会。
Don't rob your child of that growth. Instead, create a safe space where failure is normalized.
不要将其剥离出孩子的成长，创造一种错误被标准化的安全空间。
Part of loving and caring for someone means letting go when it's necessary. This is how trust is built.
对某人爱和关心的一部分意味着必要时放手。信任就此建立。
8. Catch your child in the act of doing something right.
8. 捕获孩子做出正确行为的时机。
Teenagers often struggle with their self-confidence.
青少年常和自己的自信作斗争。
It's important to recognize that peer pressure can ruin your child's self-esteem because popular beliefs aren't always the healthiest or most nurturing.
承认同辈压力会毁掉孩子的自尊很重要，因为普遍的信仰并不总是最健康或最好的。
Don't add fuel to the hell they're still trying to walk through. In other words, refrain from expressing harsh criticism and negativity.
让他们轻松度过，不要火上浇油。换句话说，要克制表达严厉批评和否定的想法。
Instead, focus on the deeds your child is doing right and praise them for those actions.
相反，关注孩子正确的行为并提出表扬。
Not only will it show that you have been paying attention to them, but this will also help boost their self-esteem.
这样不仅是告诉他们你们注重他们，更能帮助他们激发自尊。
Is your relationship with your parents disintegrating? What do you wish to see differently but more importantly what do you want to do about it?
你和父母的关系是否破裂了？你希望看到何种改变？最重要的是你想怎么做？
Share your thoughts in the comments below, don't forget to subscribe and if you'd like support our patreon. Thanks for watching.
请在下方评论分享你的观点，不要忘记订阅和支持。感谢收看。
