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Guys, big news. 4/20 is just two days away. Yeah, so that's...
朋友们大新闻，复活节还有两天了，恩恩。
Though, if you're the kind of person who celebrates 4/20, something tells me you're not waiting till Friday.
如果你要庆祝复活节，那么你可能会从周五开始等待。
You know, I just, yeah. Don't light it! Just wait.
不要点亮它，等待。
The tax deadline was extended by 24 hours yesterday, so if you haven't done your taxes yet,
昨晚的纳税申报延期了24小时，如果你还没申请，
well, you're too late again. Sorry. You had all day. You had all day.
那么你又错过了，对不起，你有一天的时间可以做，一天的时间。
Guys, Claire Danes is here tonight! I love Claire Danes.
克莱尔·丹尼斯今晚将做客节目，我喜欢克莱尔·丹尼斯。
Letitia Wright is on the show tonight. She's great, too.
莱蒂希娅·赖特也将做客节目，她也很棒。
She played a gadget expert in Black Panther. It's nice to meet a tech genius
她在《黑豹》中饰演技术专家，非常高兴能见到一位技术天才，
who didn't spend the last two weeks testifying in Congress. It's refreshing. It's refreshing.
很幸运的是，她过去两周没有去国会作证，耳目一新，耳目一新。
Let's get to some news. This week, Japan's prime minister, Shinzo Abe, has been staying at Mar-A-Lago with Trump.
来看看本周新闻，日本首相安倍晋三与小特在海湖庄园会面。
Trump said he wanted to sneak out and play golf with him...
小特说他想出去和安倍打高尔夫，
while Abe said he just wanted to sneak out. And you go, No, you have to stay.
安倍说他只是想溜出去，不行，你要待在这。
But they did play golf this morning. Abe said playing with Trump was kind of weird.
但他们早上真的一块打球了，安倍说和小特打球感觉很古怪。
Every time Trump got it in the hole, he'd have his lawyer send it hush money. What?!
每次小特击球如洞，他都会让律师送来封口费，什么？
Last night, Trump and Melania had dinner with Abe and his wife.
昨晚，小特和梅拉尼娅与安倍夫妇共进晚餐。
There was an awkward moment when Trump kept yelling at the waiter, This sushi is raw! Send it back.
但也出现了尴尬时刻，小特一直在向服务生叫喊，这个寿司是生的，拿回去。
I saw that this week Trump officially nominated a new CIA director, Gina Haspel.
本周，小特正式任命了新任中情局局长，基纳·海斯佩尔。
Next step, getting Trump to stop pronouncing her name as Jyna.
不要再让小特把名字念错了，他念成了翟娜。
And, uh, Get Jyna on the phone. Actually this morning, Trump tweeted a sketch of the man Stormy Daniels says
恩恩，让翟娜接电话，早上小特发了推特，发了一张男人素描，这张画正是斯托米·丹尼尔斯说的，
threatened her and called it a total con job. Now, a lot of people are saying that the sketch looks like someone.
威胁她的人，并称之为大骗局，许多人说这张画有点像个人。
Look at this sketch. They're saying it looks like Tom Brady.
来看看这个素描，有点像汤姆·布莱迪。
Interesting. Well, in response, this old courtroom sketch of Tom Brady weighed in and said
有意思，法庭上的汤姆·布莱迪画像说，
ermagerd, ner fer！He lerks mer lerk Term Berdy thern er der！
我不是她说的那个人，他长得更像是汤姆·布莱迪，不是她说的那个人。
Then this weird statue of soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo showed up and said
足球明星小罗的雕像说，
Dernt ser thert, mern！Yer a tertal hernk！Then the Brady sketch was like yer really mern ert?
说什么呢，你们才是骗子，布莱迪的画像是真的吗？
Then this old plaque of Elvis Presley was like terterlly term, yer a hernk-a hernk-a bernin lerv！
埃维斯·普里斯利说，这太扯了，这不可能是真的！
Then the Brady sketch was like thert merns er lert！
布莱迪素描说，这说明了许多事情！
And, finally, the statue of Lucille Ball showed up and said I'd ferk erther wern of yer.
露西尔·鲍尔的雕像说，我们要把她赶走。
What?! What?! What?! You got to be kidding! That's insane. The bronze plaque said that? Oh, my gosh!
什么，你一定在开玩笑，这太疯狂了，这些铜像说的？老天。
I couldn't believe it. That's nuts! The statue said that. I know.
真不敢相信这是真的，太疯狂了，雕像说的。
I saw this week the Vatican is offering a class on exorcisms.
本周，梵蒂冈来了一场关于驱邪的课程。
It's the only class where the guy in front of you cheats off your paper by turning his head around 180 degrees.
在课堂上，前面同学抄作业时会把头旋转180度。
What's your answer for number four?
第四个问题的答案是什么？
Guys, as I mentioned earlier, 4/20 is this Friday, and the day can be a lot of fun for stoners,
我之前提过，周五就是复活节了，也是吸食大麻的好时候，
but it's important to remember that smoking too much weed can lead to some side effects.
但要记住的是，吸入太多大麻会产生某些副作用。
I'll show you what I mean. Watch this. Mr. President, Mr. President, you need to sign.
看看你就知道了，总统先生，您需要先签字。
God bless the United Thathe. We have a great show tonight. Give it up for The Roots!
上帝保佑美桌，今晚的节目很精彩，掌声送给紫金合唱团。
