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Catching feelings for someone is easy but seeing if they feel the same way towards you is nerve-wracking.
对别人有好感是件容易事，但是对方对你有没有感觉就不知道了。
Unrequited love is a special kind of hell but no matter how painful it is, you can still overcome it by using these 10 methods.
单恋是种特别的感觉，不论有多么痛苦，你都可以利用以下十种方法克服它。
1. Allow yourself to grieve. Rejection hurts. Your heart is broken but your whole body feels heavy and worn down.
1. 允许自己悲痛。被拒绝让人痛苦。心碎了，身体也感觉沉重疲惫。
This is because emotional pain activates the same part of your brain as physical pain.
这是因为情感的痛苦激活了大脑的某一部分，出现身体疼痛时也会激活同样的部分。
Be kind to yourself and let yourself heal. Don't pretend like everything is ok or put off dealing with your heartbreak as if it's a chore.
善待自己，让自己痊愈。不要假装你没事或是拒绝治疗受伤的心，仿佛那只是一件小事。
Acknowledge that you're not emotionally well and probably won't be for a while.
承认自己情感上的痛苦，承认这种痛苦还会持续一段时间。
You have to accept the pain before you can get better.
只有接受这种痛苦才能治愈。
2. Realize you're not alone. Rejection makes us vulnerable and we take it personally because our heart is involved.
2. 意识到你并不孤独。被拒绝让我们很脆弱，我们将其归咎于自己，因为我们全心投入其中。
One trap we often fall into is believing that we're not good enough just because one person didn't return our feelings.
我们常落入一个陷阱之中，我们认为对方没有回应自己的感情是因为自己好不够好。
We might think that we're not attractive, smart or lovable enough
我们或许还会认为自己不够聪明可爱，
but unrequited love happens frequently even to people we think would never have a hard time with romance.
但是单恋时有发生，甚至会暗恋那些我们认为绝没可能的人。
A good way to prevent self-depreciation is to consider other perspectives:
预防自我贬低的好方法就是考虑其他方面：
Perhaps it was simply bad timing or the two of you aren't right for one another.
或许是时机不对，或者你们不是彼此对的人。
Focus on manifesting self-love instead of pulling yourself down and you'll definitely recover faster from the heartbreak.
专注自爱而不是诋毁自己，这样你肯定能恢复的更快。
3. Ask if there's a pattern in your rejections.
3. 想想这些拒绝中是否存在一种模式。
For some people, falling in love with someone who rejects them is a pattern they repeat based on similar childhood experiences.
对于一些人而言，爱上一个拒绝他们的人是在重复类似童年经历的一种模式。
They may have developed insecure attachment if they had caretakers who weren't always available when they needed support.
他们或许缺乏安全依附关系，如果当他们需要支持时，照顾者们无法及时给予他们。
Try to assess your history of rejections and see if the people you're choosing are repeating the same type of behavior you experienced in your childhood.
尝试评估你被拒绝的经历，看看你选择这些人是否是在重复童年经历行为的同种类型。
If so, this will only cause you to relive the times you felt abandoned or betrayed and you'll close yourself off even further finding it harder to trust people.
如果是这样，这只会让你不断的重复被抛弃或背叛的次数，你将会封闭自己，甚至会发现更加难以信任别人。
To break out of this cycle, it's important to recognize the pattern and be aware of who you choose to bare your feelings to.
要打破这种循环，认识这种模式并明白自己选择谁去表明心声很重要。
4. Realize that it's also hard for the person who rejected you.
4. 意识到对于拒绝你的那个人来说，也很艰难。
People who reject others often suffer from guilt and anxiety afterwards.
拒绝对方的人常在事后感到内疚和焦虑。
It's not easy dealing with heartbreak but heartbreakers usually feel awful about hurting someone without meaning to.
应对心碎可不容易，但是拒绝者通常会为伤害到了对方而感到没有必要的难过。
5. Distance yourself from the person who rejected you.
5. 和拒绝你的人保持距离。
Even if both of you agree to remain friends after your confession, it's a good idea to create some distance between the two of you.
即使你们两都同意表白虽然没成功，大家还是朋友，但留给彼此一些距离还是好的。
To give yourself time to work out your feelings. If they truly care about you, they'll understand.
给自己一点时间整理自己的情绪。如果他们真的关心你，他们会理解的。
Don't worry about coming off cold. Creating space can help you put things into a healthier perspective.
不要担心关系冷淡。创造空间能够帮助你让一切朝着健康方向发展。
It's easy to have tunnel vision when you're still closely interacting with the person that rejected you.
当你和拒绝你的人亲密联系时，很容易造成你的视野狭隘。
Backing off for a while will help you ease off the attachment you feel.
选择后退将帮助你缓解依附感。
6. Treat your feelings like there's someone else's.
6. 对待自己的感情，就像有人陪伴你一样。
Talking to yourself in the third person can help you better control your emotions.
以第三个人的身份和自己交谈，这样能帮助你更好的控制情感。
This allows you to step out of your usual perspective and assess the situation in a more objective point of view.
这让你走出自己的通常视角并以一种更加客观地角度评价此时的情况。
Emotions can be very high maintenance and when you're flooded with negative thoughts, it's hard to be self-absorbed.
情感可以是难以维护的，当你满脑子负面情绪时，很难专心于自己的事务或利益。
Instead, monitor your feelings like they're another person, this can help you realize that your unrequited feelings aren't the only feelings you have.
相反，你可以以第三方的方式控制自己的情感，这能够帮助你意识到你不是唯一一个有单恋情感的人。
Just being able to step out of the frame and see that they only make up a part of who you are can be a relief.
走出这种框架，意识到它们只是你的一部分，也是一种解脱。
7. Focus on non romantic media.
7. 集中于不浪漫的媒体。
Media is congested with romance but it's helpful to step away from books, movies, blogs and radio stations on that genre for a while.
媒体被浪漫情节所占满，但是它能够帮助你暂时逃离这种类型的小说、博客或广播。
Instead, you can turn to media that promotes confidence and self-love.
你可以借助媒体提升自己的自信和自爱。
When you focus on improving your well-being, you'll gain a sense of empowerment and begin to recover from your broken heart.
当你专注改善自己，你将获得一种权利感，你受伤的心开始痊愈。
8. Be inspired by your feelings.
8. 被情感所激励。
Instead of letting your feelings consume you, channel them into productivity, use them to inspire your craft or just take some time off to soul search.
不要让你的情感消费自己，将它们用于创作产出，利用它们激发自己的创作灵感或是花时间反省。
You can also pick up a new hobby, as long as you can distract yourself from your heartbreak.
你还可以选择一个新的爱好，只要你能够分散自己的注意。
9. Don't search for closure.
9. 不要封闭。
Accept the situation at face value and realize you don't need all the answers you want.
接受现在这个情况，意识到你不需要所有问题的答案。
Holding on to the feelings you have for someone won't help them come around.
保留对别人的情感也不能让他们回心转意。
Learn to stop criticizing yourself because the only way to get past unrequited love is to believe that you're enough to pull yourself out of it.
学会停止批评自己，因为度过单恋唯一的办法就是相信你足以拉自己逃离漩涡。
10. Don't give up on love. Ultimately, the future is undetermined.
10. 不要放弃爱。未来是未知的。
Life is unpredictable and has a funny way of introducing us to new people when we least expect it.
生命不可预测，它总能在我们出其不意的时候让我们认识新的人。
If you're still caught up on someone who isn't worth your time, however, you're closing yourself off to many other possibilities of love.
如果你抓着不值得的人不放，你会将很多其他爱情的可能拒之门外。
The key is to sort through the feelings that are clouding your judgment.
关键是整理这些阻碍你判断的情感。
While it may not feel like it right now, heartbreak will eventually pass.
虽然现在感觉不是很好，但总会过去的。
What are your experiences in dealing with unrequited love? Did you discover any helpful methods? Let us know in the comments below.
你有哪些单恋的经历呢？你有没有发现什么有帮助的方法呢？请在下方评论告知。
If you enjoyed this video, be sure to check out our website and other social media as well as our patreon account and don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for watching.
如果你喜欢本期视频，请登录我们的网站和其他社交媒体以及我们的patreon账户，不要忘记订阅。感谢收看。
