The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender.
If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same.
Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame.
We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy.
Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath.
So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame.
Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.
For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial.
"I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine.
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man."
For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.
I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.