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The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender.
关于羞耻还需要知道的另一件事，就是它是完全被性别所导向的。
If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same.
当羞耻感涌上我的心头和克里斯的心头，那感觉都是一样的。
Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame.
这里每个人都知道那是一种什么滋味。
We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy.
我们可以很确定的说唯一不会感到羞耻的人，就是不能建立关系或者不能感同身受的人。
Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath.
意思就是，是，我有一点羞耻；不，我只是不爱交际。
So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame.
那么我就会认为，是，你有一点羞耻感。
Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.
羞耻的感受对于男人和女人都是一样的，但却根据性别有不同的处理方式。
For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial.
对于女人，我能想到的最好的例子就是恩乔丽（香水品牌）那个广告。
"I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine.
我可以打着电话把衣服洗完，打包午餐，亲吻孩子的脸，工作从5点到9点。
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man."
我可以带回家培根，把它放到火上煎，永远不让你忘了做男人的尊严。
For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.
对女人，羞耻就是事无巨细，尽善尽美，而且从来不让别人看到你流汗。
I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.
我不知道这广告卖了多少香水，但我保证，它省了不少抗抑郁药和抗焦虑药。
