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如何与变性人交谈并倾听

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Hi, I'm Jack, and I'm transgender.

嗨,我是杰克,我是变性人。
Let me take a guess at some of thoughts that might be running through your head right now.
让我来猜猜你们现在脑海中可能有的一些想法。
"Transgender? Wait, does that mean that they're actually a man or actually a woman?"
“变性?等等,这是不是意味着他们原本是一个男人或其实是一个女人?”
"I wonder if he's had the surgery yet...
“我想知道他有没有做过手术...
Oh, now I'm looking at his crotch. Look to the right, that's a safe place to look."
哦,我现在就在盯着他的裤裆看。最好把视线转向右边,看那边就不会这么尴尬了。”
"Yes, I knew it! No real man has hips like those."
“是嘛,我就知道!男人怎么可能有这样的屁股。”
"My friend's daughter is transgender -- I wonder if they know each other."
“我朋友的女儿也是变性人--我想他们说不定认识。”
"Oh my gosh, he is so brave. I would totally support his right to use the men's bathroom.
“天哪,他好勇敢。我会充分尊重他使用男厕所的权利。
Wait, but how does he use the bathroom? How does he have sex?"
等等,他要怎么上厕所呢?他要怎么做爱?”
OK, OK, let's stop those hypothetical questions before we get too close for my comfort.
好了,好了,让我们在感到不适之前,不要再问这些假设出的问题了。
I mean, don't get me wrong, I did come here today to share my personal experiences being transgender,
不要误解我,我的意思是我今天到这里的确是来分享我作为变性人的个人经历的,
but I did not wake up this morning wanting to tell an entire audience about my sex life.
但我今早醒来时并没有打算把我的性生活公之于众。
Of course, that's the problem with being trans, right?
虽然那的确是变性后的一个问题,是吧?
People are pretty much always wondering how we have sex and what kind of equipment we're working with below the belt.
人们总是想知道我们是如何做爱的,以及这时我们所使用的工具。
Being trans is awkward.
变性人的生活充满尴尬。
And not just because the gender I was assigned at birth mismatches the one I really am.
这不仅仅是因为出生时我就有了和自己内心不相符的性别。
Being trans is awkward because everyone else gets awkward when they're around me.
变性人的生活充满尴尬,因为我身边的人会因为待在我旁边而感到尴尬。
People who support me and all other trans people wholeheartedly are often so scared to say to wrong thing,
全心全意帮助我和其他变性人的人们常常感到害怕,怕自己可能会说错话,
so embarrassed to not know what they think they should, that they never ask.
或是感到尴尬,因为有些事变性人虽未提及,他们觉得也应该考虑到。
Part of what was so nerve-racking about coming out as transgender was knowing that people wouldn't know what I meant.
作为变性人,出柜时最伤脑筋的问题之一就是身边的人不明白“变性人”意味着什么。
And when someone comes out as gay, people know what that means, but when you come out as trans,
比如有人出柜,表明自己的同志身份,大家是明白这是什么意思的,但当你以变性人的身份出柜时,
you have to face the misconceptions that will color other people's impressions of you even after you've educated them.
你就不得不面对一些误会,即便你讲明白了这一切是怎么回事,那些误会还是会影响人们对你的印象。
And you will have to educate them.
而你则不得不继续给他们灌输概念。
When I came out, I wrote at 10-page encyclopedic document with a zip-file attachment of music and videos
我出柜的时候,我写了一份10页长百科全书式的文档,并附上了几首歌和几个视频的压缩包附件,
that I sent to every single person I came out to.
这些东西,我给每一个我出柜的人都发了一份。
And I kept it in my email signature for months afterwards, because you also don't ever stop coming out.
它们在接下来的几个月还一直保留在我电邮的签名中,因为向别人出柜也不是个一蹴而就的事。
I came out to the accountant helping me with my taxes and the TSA agents
我还向帮我处理税务的会计和运管局的职员出柜,
who didn't know which one of them should pat me down, the man or the woman.
后者对我搜身检查的时候不知该派一名男人还是女人来。
I mean, I just came out to everyone watching this.
而现在我也向每一个观看这个视频的人出柜。
When I came out to my dad, to my great relief, he was totally cool with me being trans,
当我向我父亲出柜的时候,他接受了我是个变性人的事实,这让我松了一口气,
but as soon as I started talking about physically transitioning, he freaked.
但当我谈起我身体上的转变时,他吓坏了。
And I quickly realized it was because he, like so many other people,
而我也立即意识到,这是因为我的父亲和其他很多人一样,
think that physical transition means just one thing: the surgery.
都以为身体上的转变只意味着--整形手术。
Now, listen, if there were one magical surgery that could turn me into a tall, muscular,
那么现在,听好了,如果真有这样一个神奇的手术能让我一夜间变成一个又高又壮,
societally perfect image of a man overnight, I'd sign up in a heartbeat.
符合大众审美的型男,我会心动,也会行动。
Unfortunately, it isn't that simple.
不巧的是,这一切并没有这么简单。

如何与变性人交谈并倾听

There are dozens of different gender-affirming surgeries from chest surgeries to bottom surgeries to facial feminization and man-sculpting.

有各式各样的性别认定手术,如胸部和臀部手术,又如面部女性化手术和塑形手术。
Many trans people will only ever undergo one procedure in their lifetime, if that.
很多变性人一生也只做过这些手术中的一项。
Maybe because they don't personally feel the need but also because they're expensive,
可能是因为他们觉得自己没有那种需要,亦或是手术本身的价格实在太高,
and health insurance is only beginning to cover them.
而健康保险远不足以供应这样的开销。
Instead, the first step for a trans person seeking physical transition is usually hormone replacement therapy.
因此,变性人群做的第一个手术往往是性激素替代手术。
Hormones are why I have a deeper voice and some sparse whiskers on my neck and a giant pimple on my chin.
雄性激素让我得以拥有低沉的声音、脖子上稀疏的胡子和脸上这么大的青春痘。
Basically, they put you through a second puberty ... it's a blast.
这基本上就是让你再度品尝青春期的滋味--一场灾难。
Now, because our transitions are slower and steadier than historic misconceptions can lead people to believe,
与曾经人们的误解不同的是,如今,转性别的过程缓慢而稳定,
there can be some confusion about when to call someone by their new name and pronouns.
这让人们在称呼一个变性人的名字和绰号的时候容易存在困惑。
There's no distinct point in physical transition at which a trans person becomes their true gender.
在一个变性的过程中,并不存在一个人真正转成另一种性别的时间点。
As soon as they tell you their new name and pronouns, that's when you start using them.
但当他们告诉你他们的新名和新绰号后,你就该这么称呼他们了。
It can be difficult to make the change.
这样的改变的确可能比较难以做到。
You might slip up here and there; I've slipped up myself with other trans people.
你仍可能会不断地叫错,我就曾经叫错其他变性人的名字。
But I always think to myself, if we can change from calling Puff Daddy to P. Diddy,
但我常常这样想,若是我们能改叫帕夫·达迪为P·蒂迪,
and if we apologize profusely when we've used the wrong gender pronoun for someone's pet cat
并且在叫错他们宠物猫的名字后诚挚地向他们道歉,
I mean, I think we can make the same effort for the real humans in our lives.
我的意思是,我认为我们可以为生活中活生生的人们共同做出努力。
Now, there is no topic that makes other people more awkward about trans people than public bathrooms.
如今,让大家对变性人最为尴尬、自愧的就是公共厕所。
Ah, the bathrooms -- the latest political flash point for LGBT opponents.
唉,公共厕所--它是反LGBT人群在政治上最新的暴击点。
Here's a fun fact about bathrooms:
这儿有个关于公厕的有趣的事实:
more US congressmen have been convicted of assaulting someone in a public bathroom than trans people have been.
国会议员中被指在公厕殴打他人的人数,都比有这样做的变性人多。
The truth is we trans people are so much more scared of you than you are of us.
事实就是相较于你们对变性人的恐惧,我们更怕你们。
It's a huge point of discussion in trans communities about which bathroom to start using and when,
变性人群社区中有这样激烈的讨论,变性人该使用哪个厕所,何时起要这么做,
so we don't attract attention that could lead to violence against us.
才能让我们少招人耳目一些,以免发生反对我们自己的暴力行为。
I personally started using the men's room when I started getting confused and frightened looks in the women's room,
自从我在女厕所受到迷惑而恐惧的目光的时候,我便开始用男厕所了,
even though I was petrified to start going into the men's room.
尽管刚开始上男厕的时候我还有些害怕。
And often we opt to just not go to the bathroom at all.
而通常的情况下我们干脆就不去公厕了。
A 2015 national survey of trans people found that
2015年一项全国变性人调查显示,
eight percent of us had had a urinary tract infection in the past year as a result of avoiding restrooms.
去年有百分之八的变性人患有尿路感染,而其起因就是有有避免使用公共厕所。
These bathroom bills aren't protecting anyone.
现有对公厕的法案没有保障任何人的权利。
All they're doing is ensuring that when trans people are assaulted in bathrooms,
其存在的意义仅仅是保证在变性人在厕所里受到攻击时,
the law will no longer be on our side when we report it.
我们将其上报也不会得到法律的支持。
Being trans means a daily onslaught of these misconceptions.
变性人每天都要受到这些误解的打击。
And I have it pretty easy. I am a white, able-bodied guy sitting nearly at the peak of privilege mountain.
而我所面对的已经算是轻松的了。因为我是一个白人,一个身体健全的男人,可以说我享有最多的权利和保障。
For non-binary people, for trans women, for trans people of color, it is so much harder.
对于双性人、变性女人、有色变性人,这一切会更加艰难。
So I've given you a starter pack of trans knowledge that I hope will lead to more learning on your own.
所以我给你们介绍了一些跨性别的入门知识,我希望它能让你们自己去了解更多。
Talk to trans people. Listen to us. Amplify our voices.
和变性人交谈。倾听我们。也让更多的人听到我们的声音。
Take the heat off of us and educate those around you so we don't have to every time.
不要让我们这样引人注目,而是让你们身边的人了解我们,才不用由我们时时刻刻去做。
Maybe someday, when I say, "Hi, I'm Jack, and I'm transgender,"
也许在将来的某一天,当我跟别人打招呼,“嗨,我是杰克,我是变性人,”
the only response I'll get is, "Hi, nice to meet you." Thank you.
我收到的回应将只会是,“嗨,很高兴见到你。”谢谢。

重点单词   查看全部解释    
sparse [spɑ:s]

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adj. 稀少的,稀疏的

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magical ['mædʒikəl]

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adj. 魔术的,有魔力的,神奇的

 
confused [kən'fju:zd]

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adj. 困惑的;混乱的;糊涂的 v. 困惑(confu

 
confusion [kən'fju:ʒən]

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n. 混乱,混淆,不确定状态

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apologize [ə'pɔlədʒaiz]

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vi. 道歉,谢罪

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document ['dɔkjumənt]

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n. 文件,公文,文档
vt. 记载,(用文件

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survey [sə:'vei]

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v. 调查,检查,测量,勘定,纵览,环视
n.

 
frightened ['fraitnd]

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adj. 受惊的,受恐吓的

 
therapy ['θerəpi]

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n. 疗法,治疗

 
insurance [in'ʃuərəns]

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n. 保险,保险费,安全措施

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