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Singer John Mayer has a song called Daughters that discusses the importance of fathers being there for their daughters.
歌手约翰·梅尔有一首歌叫做《Daughters》，这首歌讨论的是父亲在女儿们成长中的重要性。
Mayer wanted to emphasize the message that daughters have to be nurtured well in their childhoods.
梅尔想要强调的是女孩们应在童年时期得到良好的养护。
Because those actions will affect the relationships they have when they become adults.
因为那些行为会影响她们成年后的各种关系。
But not every girl gets the treatment they hope for.
但是并不是每个女儿都得到了她们所期望的照顾。
Some of them grew up with hardships and only understood the unstable, fragile love they received from the person they called their dad.
一些女孩们的童年过的很艰难，从她们所谓的父亲那里，她们只懂得了不稳定且脆弱的爱。
Here's six types of unhealthy father-daughter relationships.
以下是不正常的父女关系的六种类型。
1. The Lost Father.
1. 缺失的父亲。
The lost father is someone who is physically present in their daughter's lives, but abandons her emotionally.
缺失的父亲是指那些出现在女儿生活中，却在情感上抛弃她们的父亲。
He never praises her daughter for her accomplishments, or notices the changes she's going through.
这种父亲从不表扬女儿们的成功，也不会注意到她们所经历的改变。
As a result, daughters with a lost father often feel confused about their self-identity and have trouble identifying their strengths and talents.
因此，拥有缺失父亲的女儿们常对她们的自我认同感到困惑，也难以认清自己的优势和天赋。
They also typically suffer from low self-esteem issues, and usually look for the love and affection they crave in the romantic relationships
她们也会有自尊心低下的问题，并且常在恋爱中寻找她们渴求的爱和情感。
2. The Abusive Father.
2. 暴虐的父亲。
The abusive father often has unstable moods and exhibits unpredictable, destructive behavior.
暴虐的父亲情绪不稳定且会有不可预测的自我毁灭性行为。
He usually has a hard time controlling his anger, and takes his stress out on his daughter...which results in verbal, physical, or sexual abuse.
这种类型的父亲常常难以控制自己的愤怒，会将压力转移到女儿身上，表现形式为口头、身体或性虐待。
The abusive father only cares about his own needs, and fails to treat his daughter right.
暴虐的父亲只关心自己的需求，无法正确对待自己的女儿。
Daughters of abusive fathers often grow up with no true identity. They are fearful, timid, and prefer not to be noticed by others.
暴虐父亲的女儿们成长的环境缺乏真正的认同。她们恐惧、胆小、更愿意躲在角落不被注意。
In romantic relationships, daughters of abusive fathers expect to be mistreated by their partners, and struggle with vulnerability and intimacy.
在恋爱关系中，暴虐父亲的女儿们会被自己的另一半虐待，并与脆弱和亲密行为作斗争。
3. The Pampering Father.
3. 过度溺爱的父亲。
The pampering father is the opposite from the abusive father.
过度溺爱的父亲和暴虐的父亲相反。
Whereas the abusive father takes, the pampering father gives. He doesn't set healthy boundaries, and treats his daughter like a princess.
暴虐的父亲所索取的，就是过度溺爱的父亲所给予的。这种类型的父亲没有设立健康的界限，把女儿当成公主对待。
Consequently, she often grows up being manipulative, and self-absorbed.
因此，她们成长过程中变得好指使人且自私。
In romantic relationships, daughters of pampering fathers usually seek to be served, and puts her needs first over their partner's.
在恋爱关系中，过度溺爱的父亲，他们的女儿常要求别人服务于自，并将自己的需求至于伴侣的需求之上。
Pampering fathers have a hard time saying no, and allow their daughters to be spoiled.
过度溺爱的父亲无法说不，任由他们的女儿被宠坏。
They worry about being mean and controlling and thus, mistake their giving nature to be supportive...
他们担心自己自私自利，因此，他们没有教会女儿如何尊重自己，
when they fail to teach their daughters to treat them with respect.
从而将他们的这种天性错当成了支援行为...
4. The Toxic Father.
4.有毒的父亲。
The toxic father creates a codependent relationship with his daughter.
有毒的父亲和女儿之间创造出了一种相互依存的关系。
He often exercises helicopter parenting, and has a hard time letting go of his daughter as she grows up.
这种类型的父亲执行直升机父母的教育，随着女儿的成长，他们却无法放手。
Even when she's capable of taking care of herself, he clips her wings off so she can rely on him for support...
即便是当女儿们有能力照顾自己的时候，他也会折断她们的翅膀，让她们只能依赖于自己...
The toxic father fails to teach his daughter the proper life skills she needs to grow.
这种有毒的父亲无法教会自己的女儿成长所需的生活技能。
He often domineers and makes decisions for her, thinking he knows what's best for her.
他常常盛气凌人地替自己的女儿做决定，认为自己是在为她好。
As a result, daughters of toxic fathers have a hard time living successful, independent lives.
因此，有毒父亲的女儿难以成功地独立生活。
5. The Ruined Father.
5. 毁灭性父亲。
The ruined father constantly relies on his daughter to survive.
毁灭性父亲经常依赖于自己的女儿生存。
He may suffer from an addiction, severe depression, or be unemployed and needs his daughter by his side, in order to function.
这种类型的父亲或许患有某种瘾、严重抑郁症或是没有工作，为了让自己的振作，他们需要将女儿放在身边。
He often guilt trips his daughter into doing favors for him, which'll lead to bitterness and anger down the road,
他们常让自己的女儿陷入负罪感之中，当女儿们试图脱离他们监管时，
as she tries to make it out on her own without having to look out for him.
这种关系会让这种逃离之路满是苦涩和愤怒。
Daughters of ruined fathers tend to be selfless, and have a hard time setting healthy boundaries with others,
毁灭性父亲的女儿非常无私，也难以和别人建立健康的界限，
because they had to play the role of the caretaker all their lives.
因为她们不得不在父亲的生活中扮演照顾者的角色。
As they reach adulthood, they may enter relationships where they end up babying,
成年后，她们或许会步入一种因过于细致的照顾而收尾的关系之中
or giving their partner special treatment without receiving the same love and attention.
或许会给她们的伴侣特殊的对待，却收不到同等的爱和关注。
6. The Anguished Father.
6. 极度痛苦的父亲。
The anguished father constantly lets his daughter down.
极度痛苦的父亲总是让他们的女儿失望。
As a result, she reacts to his perceived faults, failures, and indifferences, with rebellious behavior and unhealthy lifestyle choices,
因此，女儿们会用叛逆行为和不健康的生活方式选择，
such as eating disorders, or risky sex, to demonstrate what's bothering her.
比如饮食失调或是危险的性关系来回应父亲的错误和冷漠。
Daughters of anguished fathers take part in unhealthy choices,
极度痛苦父亲的女儿们选择不健康的选择，
hoping that their self damage will influence their fathers to stop or quit their own bad habits.
她们希望自己的自虐行为能够影响到她们父亲，让父亲摒弃他的坏习惯。
They are willing to hurt themselves because they don't know how to address the concerns they have for them that will reach them.
她们愿意伤害自己，因为她们不知道该如何处理自己的对父亲的关心。
Although daughters of anguished fathers might feel like they are free to do as they please,
虽然，这种父亲的女儿或许会觉得自己可以做任何喜欢的事情，
in reality, they are actually trapped by the feeling they have towards their fathers, that are strongly expressed in their reactions and behavior.
但事实上，她们被自己对父亲的情感所困住，这种困惑强烈地展现在她们的反应和行为之中。
Which type of unhealthy father - daughter relationship do you resonate with?
你对哪种不正常的父女关系类型有共鸣呢？
We know how hard it is to talk about toxic family dynamics, and want to be a safe, non-judgmental place for you.
我们知道谈及有毒家庭动态很困难，我们也想为大家创造一个安全、没有偏见的空间。
Please Share your story with us down below. Also, don't forget to subscribe for more content from Psych2Go,
请在下方分享你的故事，还有，不要忘记订阅Psych2Go观看更多内容
and check out our patreon. Thanks for watching!
点击查看我们的patreon账号，感谢收看！
