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The definition of narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder
自恋型人格障碍的定义是一种精神障碍
in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.
患有这种障碍的人自我重要感爆棚，对钦佩有种深层次的需要且对他人缺乏同理心。
But behind this mask of ultra confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
但是在极端自信的背后深藏着脆弱的自尊，几乎小小的一丝批评就会将其击碎。
While narcissists might think of themselves as all-powerful and invincible, there are a lot of things which scare them.
虽然自恋者或许认为自己是无所不能的，是无可战胜的，但是总有些让他们害怕的东西。
1. Relationship commitment.
1. 关系承诺。
Probably one of the things which narcissists fear the most is committing to a relationship.
或许自恋者最害怕的事物之一就是对一段关系的承诺。
Narcissists never let their guard down and being in a real relationship means
自恋者从不会让自己放松警惕，一段真实的关系意味着
you can't put up walls and hydrate yourself as so many narcissists do.
你无法垒起墙砖，让自己隐形，就像大多数自恋者多做的一样。
Being that close to someone also exposes their insecurities
和另一个人如此的亲近也会暴露他们的不安全感
and some narcissists are scared that their partners will find out their deepest, darkest secrets.
一些自恋者害怕他们的伴侣发现他们内心最深处、最黑暗的秘密。
Do you know anyone who's like this?
你有认识这样的人么？
2. Self-reflection.
2. 反省。
When it comes to narcissists, a lot of them are in complete denial.
提到自恋者，很多人是完全否认的。
For many, the one thing they fear most is coming to terms with who they really are. They like to think of themselves as perfect.
对很多自恋者来说，他们最恐惧的一件事就是忍受真实的自己。他们喜欢认为自己是完美的。
They are afraid that if they look to deep within themselves they will find things that they don't want to cope with.
他们害怕如果窥视内心深处的自己，他们会发现一些自己无法忍受的东西。
3. Insults. Narcissists actually fear being insulted more than you might expect.
3. 侮辱。自恋者真的比你想象的要更加害怕受到侮辱。
Although they are quick to dish out criticism to others, they simply can't handle the dose of their own medicine.
虽然他们会迅速回击对方，但是他们无法以牙还牙。
Since most narcissists actually have really fragile self-esteems,
由于多数自恋者自尊非常脆弱，
an insult can be a humiliating blow to their inflated egos and it's something they're really afraid of.
侮辱对他们膨胀的自我来说是羞辱性的一击，也是他们真正害怕的。
4. Shame. Narcissists will do anything to avoid feeling the sting of shame.
4. 羞耻。自恋者会竭尽所能避免一丝羞耻感。
It's interesting to note that while they fear shame, they don't fear guilt.
有意思的是虽然他们害怕羞耻，但却不害怕内疚。
This means that they fear being seen as unworthy in society and being lower in the social hierarchy.
这意味着他们害怕被社会认为是一个没有价值的人，害怕处于较低的社会阶层。
They don't however fear the guilt of actually hurting someone's feelings.
但他们不害怕伤害别人感情后的内疚感。
5. Lack of admiration. In a sense, narcissists are very much like performers.
5. 缺乏钦佩之感。在某种意义上，自恋者很像是表演者。
They crave attention and they want to be admired more than anything else.
他们渴求关注，他们希望被钦佩。
They are terrified that their attempts to impress others will be completely ignored.
他们害怕自己引起被人关注的努力被完全无视。
While some people are fine going through life completely unnoticed, narcissists are the total opposite.
一些人并不在意有没有被关注，但是自恋者完全相反。
6. Getting exposed.
6. 暴露。
Sometimes narcissists can find themselves in a thick web of lies that they've created.
有时自恋者会发现自己处于自己用谎言编造的网中。
They might lie about their past exploits to impress people or lie to manipulate others.
他们或许对自己的过去的经历撒谎只为给别人留下印象，或是为了掌控他人而撒谎。
While these lies might help them get what they want,
虽然这些谎言或许能帮助他们得到自己想要的，
deep down they have a huge fear of being exposed and getting called out on their dishonest behavior.
但在内心深处，他们非常恐惧自己暴露，因自己不诚实的行为而挨骂。
7. Feeling gratitude.
7. 感激之情。
Narcissists are also totally incapable of saying those simple words, thank you.
自恋者完全不会说‘谢谢’之类的简单词汇。
Gratitude is a completely foreign emotion to them and again this probably all stems from fear.
感激对他们来说完全是一种异物之情，这一点或许来源于他们的恐惧。
Saying thank you means that they were relying on someone and narcissists will never admit that they need anybody's help.
说谢谢意味着信赖对方，自恋者从不会承认他们需要任何人的帮助。
Lastly, death. Believe it or not, many narcissists see themselves as gods.
最后一点，死亡。不管你信不信，很多自恋者将自己视为神。
They think they're untouchable that nothing bad will ever happen to them and that everything they touch will turn to gold.
他们认为自己是不可捉摸的，任何糟糕的事情都不会发生在他们身上，他们触碰到的一切事物都会变成金子。
But everyone knows that even the most powerful people on earth can't beat death and this is something that most narcissists are terrified of.
但是大家都知道即使是地球上最具威力的人都无法抗拒死亡，死亡正是多数自恋者害怕的。
If you enjoyed this video and want more content around various psychology or mental health content, don't be afraid to subscribe.
如果喜欢本期视频，想观看更多关于心理学或心理健康的内容，不要害怕订阅我们的频道。
We also have a playlist about Psychopaths and Sociopaths, if you want to learn more about various personality disorders.
如果你想了解更多关于性格障碍的知识，我们有一期关于《精神病患与反社会者》的视频。
