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Four years ago, my lovely wife Gauri and me decided to have a third child.
四年前，我和我太太高丽决定要第三个孩子。
It was claimed on the net that he was the love child of our first child who was 15 years old.
结果网上居然说，那是我的大儿子的小孩，我的大儿子，他四年前只有15岁。
Apparently, he had sown his wild oats with a girl while driving her car in Romania.
网上居然说，是他在罗马尼亚和他的女友搞车震，播下的野种。
And yeah, there was a fake video to go with it.
而且啊还流出一段假视频。
And we were so disturbed as a family.
我们全家都不堪其扰。
My son, who is 19 now, even now when you say "hello" to him,
我的儿子，现在19岁了，现在就算你只是跟他打个招呼说“你好"，
he just turns around and says, "But bro, I didn't even have a European driving license."
他都会马上说，“嘿伙计，我根本没有欧洲驾照。”
Yeah. In this new world, slowly, reality became virtual and virtual became real,
是啊。在这个崭新的世界里，慢慢地真假变得难以区分，
and I started to feel that I could not be who I wanted to be or say what I actually thought,
我开始觉得，我不能做我自己，我不能随便发表我的想法，
and humanity at this time completely identified with me.
而此时的人性就跟我一模一样。
I think both of us were going through our midlife crisis, and humanity, like me, was becoming an overexposed prima donna.
和我一起步入了中年危机，人性就像我，变成了一个整天被狗仔队追赶的主角。
I started to sell everything, from hair oil to diesel generators.
我开始贩卖一切，从发油到柴油发电机。
Humanity was buying everything from crude oil to nuclear reactors.
而人性开始收买一切，从原油到核反应堆。
You know, I even tried to get into a skintight superhero suit to reinvent myself. I must admit I failed miserably.
你知道，为了重新塑身，我甚至还想过穿超人紧身衣。
And just an aside I want to say on behalf of all the Batmen, Spider-Men and Supermen of the world,
我必须承认我彻底失败了，在此打个岔，代表蝙蝠侠、蜘蛛人还有这个世界的超人们，
you have to commend them, because it really hurts in the crotch, that superhero suit.
请各位把掌声送给他们，因为穿超人装，胯下超疼。
