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What is your love language?
你的爱的语言是什么？
Relationship counselor, Gary Chapman, author of Five Love Languages concluded after 35 years of marriage counseling
关系顾问、《五种爱的语言》的作者加里·查普曼在进行了35年的婚姻咨询工作后总结出
that there are essentially five emotional love languages in which people can speak, show and understand love.
人们可以用五种爱的语言来表达、展现以及理解爱。
People in relationships often have different love languages, which is why as couples progress over time
在恋爱关系中，情侣们有着不同的爱的语言，因此随着情侣们的相处
they may run into conflicts when they feel misunderstood, neglected or smothered.
在他们感到困惑、消极或是郁闷的时候，会陷入冲突之中。
Common thoughts people may have when their love languages clash are:
当情侣们爱的语言出现冲突时，常会出现这些想法：
I wish he could love me the way I do and if only she could give me more space. Does this sound familiar to you?
我希望他能像我爱他一样爱我；如果她能给我更多空间就好了。这些话是不是很耳熟？
Understanding how the two of you communicate love is important in order to grow together in your relationship.
了解两人对爱的沟通方式很重要，这样才能稳固关系的成长。
Here are Chapman's five types of love languages.
以下是查普曼的五种爱的语言。
1. Words of affirmation. This type of love language involves the use of words to show that you love someone.
1. 肯定的语言。这种爱的语言指使用一些词语来展现你对他的爱。
Someone who prefers this love language would rather hear you say 'I love you' and other compliments.
喜欢这种爱的语言的人更愿意听到你说‘我爱你’以及其他的赞美之词。
They value uplifting words that demonstrate your supportive and considerate of them.
他们很看重这些让人开心的词语来展示你对他们的支持和体贴。
Harsh, negative and insulting comments should be avoided because they cut deeply and aren't easily forgotten or forgiven.
应该避免那些严厉、负面及侮辱性评论，因为这些话很伤人，也不会被轻易的原谅或忘记。
2. Quality time.
2. 高质量的时间。
This love language involves giving your partner your undivided attention.
这种爱的语言指的是给另一半全神贯注的关注。
Unlike using words of affirmation,
不同于使用肯定词语，
someone with this love language would appreciate it more if their partner spends time with them.
喜欢这种爱的语言的人会喜欢他的另一半花时间和他们待在一起。
It's normal for schedules to fill up as you get older with more responsibilities on your plates
随着年龄增长，责任越大，就越忙，
but it's important that you make time in between to be with your lover.
但是给你自己和你爱的人留一些时间，这很重要。
Distractions, postponed dates or failing to listen attentively can all make these individuals feel hurt and disappointed.
分心、推迟约会或是没有专心倾听，这些都会让对方感觉失望受伤。
3. Receiving gifts. Someone with this love language prefers receiving gifts to feel loved.
3. 收礼物。这种爱的语言的人更愿意从收礼物上感觉被爱。
This doesn't necessarily mean that the person is materialistic, they most likely find it meaningful or thoughtful
这并不意味着这类人金钱至上，当他们知道你偶然发现一些能够让你想起他们的东西时，
when they know you've stumbled upon something that reminded you of them.
他们会很觉得这个礼物很有意义或是体贴。
It makes them feel appreciated when you take the time to find something bright just for them.
你花时间找礼物，会让他们觉得很感激。
It's not about how expensive the gift is or whether it's a designer brand
重点并不在于这个礼物有多贵或者是什么名牌
instead the individual cares more about how much you know them.
他们更在乎你们有多了解他。
4. Acts of service. Have you ever heard of the saying actions speak louder than words?
4. 服务的行动。你有没有听过“行动比语言更响亮”？
For people with this love language, this particular quote fits them perfectly.
对于这种人，这句话和他们完美贴合。
These individuals prefer their partners to help them out when things get complicated in life.
这类人喜欢让他们的另一半帮助他们逃脱困境。
Lending a helping hand is the best way to win their heart.
伸手帮忙是赢得他们心的最好方法。
It is best advised not to make broken promises, show laziness or have a poor work ethic.
最好不要背弃承诺、表现懒散或是没有职业道德。
People with this love language often appreciate the favours you do for them
这种类型的人常常会感激你对他们的帮助
and value any hard work you do that shows you were thinking about them.
并且看重你所做的任何苦差事，这展现出了你在关心他们。
5. Physical touch. This love language involves everyday physical connections
5. 肢体接触。这种爱的语言指的是日常的身体接触
such as hand-holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing and any other type of reaffirming physical contact.
比如牵手、拥抱、依偎、亲吻和任何亲密的肢体接触。
People who identify with this loved language prefer affectionate touches over kind words and compliments.
这种类型的人喜欢深情的触碰多于善语和赞美。
This doesn't necessarily mean they are aggressive about public displays of affection
这并不是说他们强烈要求公开秀恩爱
but being touchy-feely with them does make these individuals feel loved and appreciated.
而是这些卿卿我我的接触会让他们感到被爱和欣赏。
Any form of physical abuse or harsh touching is never tolerated from them.
任何形式的身体伤害或推搡都是他们无法忍受的。
Which of these types is your love language? Please share your thoughts with us below.
你是哪种爱的语言？请在下方评论告知。
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