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Mothers are the first female figures boys connect with when they enter this world.
母亲是男孩子们来到这个世界时相连系的第一位女性。
This is why setting good examples and demonstrating love and support is crucial right from the very start.
所以从一开始树立好榜样、向他们展示爱和支持是非常关键的。
But what about those who don't have such a great upbringing from their mothers, what are the harmful effects on them?
但是那些没有获得母亲教育的孩子会怎么样呢，这对他们有什么消极影响么？
Here are six types of unhealthy mother-son relationships.
以下是不健康母子关系的六种类型。
1. Mama's boy.
1. 妈咪的宝贝。
A close mother-son relationship is important but how close is too close?
亲密的母子关系很重要，但是其中的界限在哪？
When a mother oversteps her sons' boundaries, makes all the decisions for him and forces him to be by her side at all times,
当母亲越界，为她的儿子做决定并强迫儿子遵循自己的决定，
it leaves him very little room to grow independent as he gets older.
随年龄增长，儿子独立的空间就会越来越小。
In fact, his mother may work harder to make him feel guilty if he doesn't stay in touch with her constantly.
事实上，如果他没有经常和母亲保持联系，他的母亲就会努力给他制造负罪感。
The son is often empathetic, kind-hearted and giving but his mother often takes advantage of him because of that.
这样的儿子通常会体谅别人的感受且心地善良，但是他的母亲却经常利用他的这些特质。
As he gets older, he may quietly or openly resent her and start to retaliate in order to establish freedom for himself.
随着儿子年龄增长，他可能会在私底下或公开憎恨她并开始为了获得自由而报复母亲。
2. Mother and lover.
2. 母亲和爱人。
If a mother lost her husband or her partner unexpectedly whether from death, divorce or emotional distance,
如果一位母亲失去了丈夫或伴侣，不论是因为死亡、离婚还是分居，
she might try to replace him with her son by having him play the spouse role.
她可能会让儿子扮演自己的配偶。
The son will likely feel uncomfortable fulfilling his mother's needs
这样的儿子可能会因为满足自己母亲的需求而感到不适
and may resent the father for leaving them or not being more active in their everyday lives.
或许会因父亲的离开或冷漠而憎恨父亲。
No one should have to bear the burden of carrying on extra responsibilities, especially starting at such a young age.
没有人应该承担这些额外的责任，尤其是在这么小的年纪。
This can harm him both emotionally and psychologically putting his individuality at risk.
这样会对他造成情感和心理的伤害，让他个人特质承受风险。
3. The absent mother.
3. 单亲。
It can create some serious damage when a mother is absent in her son's life especially when her son is young.
母亲没有陪伴在儿子成长，尤其是在儿子很小的时候，会造成一些严重的伤害。
According to Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters,
《Motherless Daughters》的作者霍普·埃德尔曼表示
those who grew up without a mother can have trouble forming relationships with others.
那些没有母亲的孩子难以和他人建立联系。
Sons who grew up without mothers often either blame themselves believing they did something wrong
没有母亲的儿子要么是责备自己，认为是自己做错了什么
that caused their mother to leave or they end up resenting them. It's easier to hold on to anger than nothing at all.
才让母亲离开的，要么他们会憎恨自己的母亲。愤怒总是最简单的。
4. The boss and subordinate.
4. 老板和下属。
This type of relationship very much takes on the my way or the highway attitude.
这种类型的关系有种‘我说了算’的感觉。
The mother is often highly controlling and dominant forcing her son to follow her every lead.
这种母亲的控制欲很强，喜欢掌控一切，强迫她的儿子听她的安排。
He is little to no say in expressing his sense of self. He will also have difficulty making decisions as he gets older.
他没有权利表达自己的感受。随着年龄增长，他会越来越难以自己做决定。
This can either influenced him to depend on others too much
对他的影响在于：要么过度依赖别人
or he'll mirror his mother's actions and take control in situations where he feels valued and heard.
要么他会模仿母亲的行为，在他感觉受重视的地方掌控全局。
5. The hide-and-seek mom.
5. 捉迷藏似的母亲。
This type of mom is often emotionally distant. Her son has a hard time reaching her when he needs it the most.
这种类型的母亲常给人情感上的距离感。她的儿子很难在需要的时候感受母亲的关怀。
She can be highly unpredictable with her mood swings which makes it hard for her son to get close to her.
她的情绪琢磨不定，她的儿子难以和她亲近。
I'm sure of how she'll react, he learns to also keep a safe distance from her.
我知道她会这么反应，他学会了和她保持安全距离。
This type of mother might struggle with giving her son little to no attention, love and support.
这种类型的母亲难以给她的儿子一点点的关心、爱和支持。
Consequently, this can make it hard for him to form real connections with others.
因此，这也让他难以和其他人建立真正的联系。
He may learn to build up walls and struggle with social anxiety.
他可能学会了建立围墙，和社会焦虑斗争。
6. The mom and her trophy boy.
6.母亲和她的奖杯男孩。
This type of mother-son relationship revolves around perfection and expectations.
这种类型的母子关系是以完美和期望为中心。
In this circumstance, the mother likes to be the star and often puts her son on display like a trophy
在这种环境中，母亲喜欢当明星，常让自己的儿子像战利品一样展示
where she can show him off in front of others. He's treated more like a possession rather than a son to her.
比如在众人面前炫耀自己的儿子。他被当作是一件物品而不是她的儿子。
Obsessed with image and performance, she has high expectations for her son pushing him to be better every day.
由于痴迷于画面和战绩，她对自己的儿子有很高的期待，迫使他每天要更好。
Although he may be your all-star student in school, on the inside he may be secretly suffering from pressure.
虽然他在学校或许是你的全明星学生，但是在内心深处，他可能在和压力作斗争。
As he grows up he may be quick to please, constantly working and incredibly self-critical.
随着年龄增长，他学会通过不断工作，极端自律来取悦大家。
We want you to remember that you're toxic upbringing does not define nor limit who you can become.
我们希望大家记住，有害的教育并不能定义或限制你。
What other red flags have you seen in mother-son relationships? We want you to know that you're not alone
在母子关系中，你还看到过哪些危险信号呢？我们希望你知道，你并不是一个人
and aimed to be a judgment-free platform where you can seek support from our other community members.
我们致力于创造一个不妄加评论的平台，让大家可以从其他社区成员那里寻求帮助。
Many of you expressed interest in this topic, so please share your thoughts, concerns or any other requests with us below.
很多人都表示对这个话题感兴趣，请分享你们的观点、提出你们的要求。
Also please be sure to subscribe to our channel for more helpful tips
请订阅我们的频道获取更多有用建议
and share this video for a free copy of our magazine on adoption awareness. Use the code psi power.
并和别人分享我们的视频。
With your help, we can reach more people to spread awareness on mental health issues.
有了大家的帮助，我们才能帮助更多人宣传心理健康问题的意识。
Thank you for your support really and truly, we wouldn't have gotten this far without each and every one of you.
感谢大家的支持，没有你们，我们走不到这里。
