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So I thought if you guys wouldn't mind, I'd just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that cool?
如果大家不介意，那么我们开始本周的感谢信环节，可以吗？
James, can I get some thank-you- note-writing music, please?
詹姆斯，来点感谢信背景音乐吧。
Wow. Wow. He looks like he's gonna run into Spock at a family reunion. There he is, man.
哦哦，他看上去像是要在家庭聚会上偶遇斯波克的人，绝对的。
The one and only Champagne James. Shh.
唯一的詹姆斯香槟，嘘嘘嘘。
Thank you, person who invented corn mazes, for thinking,
谢谢发明玉米田迷宫的人，因为你们会想，
Hey, you know what would make this fall weekend even better?
秋天的周末应该怎么过为好呢？
Getting lost in a stranger's crop.
在陌生人的庄稼地走失了。
Stranger's crop. Thank you, movie supervillain Venom,
陌生人的庄稼地，谢谢你电影中的超级坏蛋“毒液”，
for being the Marvel Comics version of the dudes who say, Wazzup?
感谢你成为漫威漫画版本的那个家伙，他的口头语是“Wazzup”。
Aah! Aah! Thank you, hockey, for looking at figure skating and saying,
啊啊，谢谢你曲棍球，一边看花样滑冰表演一边说，
What if we did that while also beating the living crap out of each other?
如果我们一边滑冰一边看群殴呢？
Thank you, POM pomegranate juice,
谢谢POM牌石榴果汁饮料，
for showing us what it would look like if Mrs. Butterworth really let herself go.
你的样子非常像“巴特沃思太太”品牌放纵的样子。
Got Spanx. Thank you, Halloween-themed bags of candy,
穿Spanx内衣吧，谢谢你万圣节主题糖果袋，
for helping me pretend I'm only buying this much candy because it's Halloween. Yeah.
因为万圣节，你让我看上去像是买了一大袋子糖果，没错。
I think we'll get a lot more trick-or-treaters this year.
我想今年的捣乱小孩会很多。
What's that? No, dude. These are fun-sized. They're fun. Yeah.
这是啥？小型糖果，小型的，没错。
So, if you eat 10 fun size, is that equal to one regular size? Yeah.
如果你吃了十个小型的，十个等于一个标准型的？没错。
Because it's just fun. It's 10 more times the fun. No, it's not fun. It's not? No.
因为这很有趣，这比有趣还有趣，这不是有趣，不是吗？不是。
Oh, I'm wrong. I was mistaken. I'm ignorant of how the world works.
我错了，我错了，我不知道这个世界是咋回事了。
I just wanna learn. You're just learning. Yeah, I just wanna learn. You're constantly learning.
我只是在学习，你在学习，我只是想学习，你一直在学。
I'm constantly learning. I'm constantly changing my behavior. You're like... You're like a Mork.
我一直在学，我一直在改变我的行为，你好似默克。
Yeah, exactly. I'm exactly like Mork. Except I'm not from the planet Ork.
没错，我确实像默克，除了我不是从奥克星球来的。
Oh, yes. Oh, I wonder why I didn't do Stormy Daniels' book.
没错，我在想为什么我没有录丹尼尔斯的书。
I should've written that earlier. Pee-wee should've done Stormy Daniels' book.
我早应该写了，皮威应该录丹尼尔斯的书。
Pee-wee Herman? Yeah. Oh. Then he took off my bra. No.
皮威·赫尔曼？没错，他脱掉了我的内衣。
Thank you, people who buy souvenir magnets as gifts,
谢谢那些买磁铁纪念物作为礼物的人，
for saying, Every time you reach for the fridge, I want you to remember how cheap I am.
每当你走近冰箱，我希望你能记得我是多么便宜。
It's in the shape of a state. Yeah.
大州的形状，没错。
Thank you, toasters. From what I can tell, you've got exactly two settings...
谢谢烤面包机，依我看，你有两个档，
slab of burnt charcoal and still just bread.
炭烧和面包两种。
Thank you, turtlenecks, for not going by your more honest name, sweater prisons.
谢谢高翻领，谢谢你没有用“毛衣监狱”这个实诚名字。
There you go, everybody. Those are my thank-you notes.
谢谢大家，这就是今天的感谢信。
