But then she wavered, and in that moment, Dr. Chang wrote me, "I heard your voice saying, 'Sit at the table' and I knew I had to accept the promotion.
So that evening, I told my husband I was taking the job ... and then handed him the grocery list."
Sharing the burden of the mundane can make all the difference.
My career and marriage are inextricably intertwined.
During that first year Dave and I were parents, it became clear that balancing two careers and two cities was not adding up to one happy family.
We needed to make some changes. But what?
I loved my job at Google and he felt enormously loyal to his team in L A.
We struggled through the commuting for another long year of marital less-than-bliss.
By then, Dave was ready to leave Yahoo.
He limited his job search to the San Francisco area, which was a sacrifice on his part, since more of his professional interests and contacts were in L.A.
He eventually became CEO of SurveyMonkey and was able to move the company headquarters from Portland to the Bay Area.
Once we were in the same city, it still took us some time to figure out how to coordinate our work schedules.
Even though Dave and I are extraordinarily fortunate and can afford exceptional child care,
there are still difficult and painful decisions about how much time our jobs require us to be away from our family and who will pick up the slack.