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Growing up Mormon.
作为一名摩门教徒长大。
Growing up in Yelyas Church.
在耶尔亚斯教堂长大。
Being Mormon.
作为一名摩门教徒。
I felt like being gay just wasn't an option.
我感觉，同性恋压根儿不在我们的选择范围之内。
We were about as evil as a thing can get.
我们似乎是世界上最邪恶的人。
The church hasn't really acknowledged us.
教会并没有真正承认我们。
I was ultimately told to suppress it.
他们也只让我压抑我的欲望。
I dealt with a lot of self-hatred.
我时常都会仇恨我自己。
I thought about suicide a lot.
我经常会想到自杀。
Utah's problem is that our suicide rate has been climbing in youth, and that's appalling.
犹他州的问题是我们的自杀率一直在攀升，而且攀升的速度令人震惊。
These kids are being lost, but there's no discussion in the church.
这些孩子正在迷失，但教会里并没有讨论这个问题。
As Mormons, we need to have some serious discussions, and look in the mirror and figure out what we're doing wrong.
作为摩门教徒，我们需要认真地讨论，并照照镜子，搞清楚我们的问题到底出在哪里。
The church has made it fairly clear where they stand on gay relationships,
教会已经明确表达了他们对同性恋关系的立场，
and so if you can't get on this ship, those of us that are in the trenches are gonna make it happen.
所以，如果你上不了这艘船，那我们中间那些与彼此共患难的人就会站出来助你一臂之力。
And that's what Mama Dragons do.
这就是“龙妈妈”的理念。
It's very cool to see this grass root network of women giving people hope, and giving people answers.
有这样一个给大家带来希望和答案的女性草根网络很棒。
In the book, How To Be a Perfect Mormon Mother, there's no chapter, how to parent your gay kid.
《如何成为一个完美的摩门教母亲》一书中没有教大家如何培养同性恋孩子的内容。
Mama Dragons is helping to write that chapter.
“龙妈妈”正在帮忙书写这一章节。
Before my son came out, I felt like being gay was an abomination.
我儿子出世之前，我觉得同性恋很可恶。
I felt like it was a choice.
我感觉那就是一个选择。
I didn't really ever question anything.
我几乎从未质疑过任何事情。
I was asked by my leaders to canvas my neighborhood and get signatures to protect the marriage between man and a woman.
领导们要求我调查我的邻居，让他们签名，从而保护异性婚姻。
And I was a good little soldier.
我是一个非常称职的小卫士。
My whole thought process changed when my son came out.
当我儿子出生以后，我的整个思维过程都变了。
The Mormons tend to be a pretty conservative bunch, socially,
在社交方面，摩门教徒往往比较保守，
and current Mormon doctrine and policy really doesn't have a place for the our LGBT kids.
目前的摩门教教义和政策没有给我们的LGBT孩子丝毫的存在空间。
A lot of people are fearful that having their LGBT kids will impact their relationship with the church, it may impact their standing with the church,
很多人都担心孩子是LGBT成员的话会影响他们与教会的关系，影响他们对教会的支持，
they're not willing to reach out and go to the next step.
他们不愿意站出来走上新的台阶。
For a lot of Mormon moms, having a kid come out is the start of a real faith crisis for them.
对很多摩门教妈妈来说，有一个出柜的孩子就等于一场严重的信仰危机的开始。
