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From virtually the moment we're born, there's a story that's preached across cultures and continents.
几乎从我们出生的那一刻起，就一直有一个跨越文化和大陆的故事萦绕在我们耳畔。
It's a familiar fairy tale.
那是一个大家都耳熟能详的童话。
(She was even more beautiful than he had thought.)
（她比他想象的还要美丽。）
That finding one, true, love is the key to a fulfilled and happy life.
讲的是，找到一位真爱是通往幸福美满的生活的关键。
I've been doing a lot of thinking.
这段时间我想了很多。
And the thing is, I love you. I love you. I love you. Ditto.
我发现，我爱你。我爱你。我爱你。我也是。
As an adult, we're forced to reconcile the messaging on monogamy with one simple fact.
作为成年人，我们被迫在一夫一妻制这一差使与一个简单的事实之间左右为难。
Humans are terrible at it.
这一事实就是：人类在一夫一妻制上相当差劲。
It's kept Jerry Springer on the air for 25 years.
正是这种差劲让杰里·斯普林格的脱口秀节目停播了25年。
I've been sleeping with Eddie.
我一直在和埃迪上床。
You cheated on me with her? I have your name tattoed on me!
你竟然背着我和她偷情？我都把你名字纹在身上了！
Why did you sleep with him? How many girls you take from me, Aaron?
你为什么要和他上床？你抢我女人抢了多少次，亚伦？
In 2016, 2.2 million U.S. couples got married. But over 800,000 called it quits.
2016年美国有220万对情侣结婚，最终有80多万对又离了。
Our quest for--and failure at--monogamy has caused so much pain and heartbreak.
我们对一夫一妻制的追求以及失败引发了无数痛苦和心碎的故事。
If it's so hard for humans to be monogamous,
既然一夫一妻制对人类而言这么困难，
why do most of us, all around the world, make it one of the most central goals of our lives?
那为什么世界各地的大多数人都将其视为生活中最核心的目标之一呢？
I start asking myself, "Is he right for me?"
我开始问自己，“他真的适合我吗？”
I'm a very lucky man.
我实在是太幸运了。
This beautiful shots of the royal couple...
这对皇家夫妇的美丽抓拍……
Prince Wales admited publicly that he was unfaithful.
威尔士王子公开承认自己背叛了婚姻。
I'm announcing my resignation.
我宣布辞职。
His crime was to have conceived a child with a married neighbor.
他的罪名是与隔壁已婚妇女通奸并致其怀孕。
Nelson Madela...with a broken marriage.
纳尔逊·曼德拉……婚姻失败。
I did not have sexual relationship with that woman.
我没有和那个女人发生性关系。
If you ask couples why they chose monogamy, you'll hear one answer again and again.
如果你问问情侣们为什么选择单一伴侣，你会反复听到一个答案。
They fell in love.
那就是：他们相爱了。
We met in a candy store. 1946.
我们是在一家糖果店认识的。 1946年认识的。
We went to college together.
我们上了同一所大学。
We were both in a relationship then.
那个时候我们都有对象。
We didn't cheat.
但我们并没有偷情。
You look so guilty every time we talk about this. I'm bad at talking about this.
每次谈到这个事情他都会很内疚。我不擅长聊这个事。
It's arranged marriage, whatever they selected for me, it was good. And I am very happy with that.
我们是包办婚姻，且不管他们给我选的是谁，但他们给我选了一个好丈夫。这段婚姻我很幸福。
We had a study date one night, and that study break turned into anatomy, I guess.
有一天晚上我们本来是一起去学习来着，结果学着学着我们就研究起彼此的身体了。
I've never felt this way about anybody before.
我从来没对任何人有过这种感觉。
I feel God has blessed us.
我觉得我们得到了上帝的祝福。
We found true love.
我们找到了真爱。
Of course we did. We're still here, 70 years, what do you expect.
当然了，我们都结婚70年了，不是真爱是什么。
25 years I would've gotten out on good behavior.
不是真爱我恐怕25年都撑不住。
I would like to think that soul mates are real, but...
我希望灵魂伴侣是真实存在的，但是……
She's my soul mate. Well, you're mine too.
她就是我的灵魂伴侣。哈，你也一样喔。
But monogamy and love aren't the same thing.
问题是，单一伴侣和爱情并不是一码事。
We are so psychotically welded to this idea that monogamy means love, and love means monogamy,
我们打心眼里就认定选择了单一伴侣就等于爱；爱就等于选择单一伴侣，
and in the absence of monogamy, there is not love.
不选择单一伴侣就等于不是爱。
Love is a feeling. Monogamy is a rule.
爱是一种感觉，单一伴侣则是一种规则。
You'll only have sex with this one person,
意思是，你只和这个人发生性关系，
and most people live in a culture where they're expected -- at some point -- to make that rule a legal contract called marriage.
而大多数人生活的文化环境都要求他们——在某个时刻——将这一规则变成“婚姻”这一法律合同。
In many countries, breaking that rule is a crime.
在许多国家，打破单一配偶这一规则都属于犯罪行为。
In the U.S., adultery is illegal in at least 20 states,
在美国，通奸在至少20个州都是违法的，
and although they're rarely enforced, punishments can range from a $10 fine to three years in prison.
尽管相关的法律很少被强制执行，当事人还是可能受到罚款10美元到3年监禁不等的处罚。
If you are in a monogamous relationship for 50 years
如果你将一段单一伴侣的关系维系了50年，
and you fell down once, you cheated once -- the whole relationship was a lie and a failure.
但你曾经堕落过一次，你有过一次欺骗行为——那你的整段婚姻关系都将成为一个谎言和一次失败的婚姻。
Most human beings have ambivalent impulses that it's nice to have someone you can rely on, but there's also the temptation of novelty.
大多数人都会有矛盾的冲动，有一个你可以依赖的人固然值得高兴，但你也会受到新鲜感的诱惑。
Why would humans all around the world invent a rule that's so difficult to follow, and treat breaking it as such an enormous betrayal?
为什么世界各地的人都会发明这样一条如此难以遵守的规则并将打破这一规则的行为视为无比严重的背叛呢？
Should a male have on his clothing so much as a strand of hair from a female not his wife, a serious crisis may result.
男人的衣服上哪怕是有一根不属于他妻子的头发，都能导致严重的感情危机。
For more than a century, there's been a culturally accepted explanation.
一个多世纪以来，各种文化都接受了一种相关的解释。
Sound check. One, one, one, one, one, one, one.
试音开始。一，一，一，一，一，一。
The standard narrative is the story that everybody knows that
标准的说法是每个人都知道，
men want to be free sexually and spread their seed around the world,
男人想要在性上面获得自由，以便能够满世界传播他们的基因，
and women want to be very exclusive and particular and choose a provider,
女人想要的则是专属的，个别的性，她们会选择一个能够提供给他们这种保障的对象，
because they're vulnerable and the children need someone to take care of them, and all that.
原因是她们比较脆弱，她们需要有人来照顾孩子等等。
Women trade sexual fidelity to men in exchange for goods and services essentially.
我们大致可以说，女性是在用性的忠诚来与男性交换商品和服务。
