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I had about five minutes before I was set to deliver a talk to a bunch of business owners about visibility and being on camera.
我有大约五分钟的时间，接着就要对一群企业主演讲，主题是能见度和面对摄影机。
After all, I was the so-called expert there, the former 20-year television news anchor and life and business coach.
毕竟，在那里，我是所谓的专家，我曾当过二十年的电视新闻主播，及人生和事业的教练。
I happened to take a look down at my cell phone just to catch the time,
我刚好低头看了一眼手机，想知道时间，
and I noticed that I had a missed call from my ex-husband. I can still hear his voice.
我注意到我有一通未接来电，是我前夫打来的。我现在仍然能听见他的声音。
"Darieth, what is going on?
“戴瑞尔丝，怎么回事？
I just got a call from some strange man who told me to go to this website,
我刚接到一个陌生人的电话，他叫我上一个网站，
and now I'm looking at all of these photos of you naked.
现在我眼前都是你的裸照。
Your private parts are all over this website. Who's seen this?"
网站上都是你的私密处。谁看得到这些？”
I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I was so humiliated and so embarrassed and so ashamed.
我无法思考。我无法呼吸。我好羞愧，好丢脸，好可耻。
I felt like my world was coming to an end.
我觉得我的世界完蛋了。
And yet, this began for me months of pain and depression and anger and confusion and silence.
然而，这只是开端，接着是数个月的痛苦、忧郁、愤怒、迷惘以及沉默。
My manipulative, jealous, stalker ex-boyfriend did exactly what he said he would do:
我的前男友很会控制人、爱嫉妒、还是个跟踪狂，而他做了他说他会做的事：
he put up a website with my name on it, and he posted this. And this.
他架了一个网站，挂上我的名字，在网站上张贴这个。还有这个。
And several explicit photos that he had taken of me while I was asleep, living with him in Jamaica.
还有许多清楚的照片，都是他趁我在睡觉时偷拍的，当时我们在牙买加同居。
For months prior to that, he had been sending me threatening text messages like this.
在此事之前的几个月，他一直对我发送像这样的威胁信息。
He was trying to make me out to be some sleazy, low-life slut. He had even threatened to kill me.
他一直要把我塑造成像某种低级、卑鄙的荡妇。他甚至威胁要杀了我。
He told me that he would shoot me in my head and stab me in my heart,
他告诉我，他要对着我的头开枪，用刀刺进我的心脏，
simply because I wanted to end the controlling relationship.
只因为我想要结束这段充满控制的关系。
I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I didn't even know what to call it.
我无法相信这种事会发生在我身上。我甚至不知道这种事叫什么。
You might know it as cyberharassment or cyberbullying.
你们可能听过的名词包括网络骚扰或网络霸凌。
The media calls it "revenge porn." I now call it "digital domestic violence."
媒体称它为“复仇式色情”。我现在称它为“数字家庭暴力”。
It typically stems from a relationship gone bad, where a controlling, jilted ex-lover can't handle rejection,
通常，它的源头都是一段恶化的关系，很有控制欲、被抛弃的旧情人无法接受自己被拒绝，
so when they can't physically put their hands on you, they use different weapons: cell phones and laptops.
当他们无法在实体上对你下手时，他们就会用不同的武器：手机和笔记本电脑。
The ammunition? Photos, videos, explicit information, content -- all posted online, without your consent.
弹药是什么？照片、影片、清楚的信息、内容--全都张贴在网络上，且没有取得你的同意。
I mean, let's face it -- we all live our lives online.
咱们面对现实吧--我们都生活在网络上。
And the internet is a really small world.
而网络真的是个很小的世界。
We show off our baby photos, we start and grow our businesses,
我们炫耀自己宝宝的照片，我们创造并经营自己的事业，
we make new relationships, we let the world in, one Facebook like at a time.
我们建立新的关系，我们让全世界进来，一次一个脸书上的赞。
And you know what I found? An even smaller world.
你们知道我发现什么吗？一个更小的世界。
One in 25 women say they have been impacted by revenge porn.
每二十五名女性中就有一名说她曾经受过复仇式色情的影响。
For women under the age of 30, that number looks like one in 10.
三十岁以下的女性，则是十个中就有一个。
And that leaves a few of you in this audience as potential victims.
那表示在座当中有少数几个人就有可能会成为受害者。
You want to know what's even more alarming?
想知道什么更令人担忧吗？
Lack of legislation and laws to adequately protect victims and punish perpetrators.
缺乏立法和法律，无法提供受害者适当的保护，或给行凶者应得的惩罚。
There's only one federal bill pending; it's called the ENOUGH Act, by Senator Kamala Harris.
只有一项联邦法案，目前还待决；是参议员卡玛拉·哈里斯提出的“ENOUGH（够了）”法案。
It would criminalize revenge porn. But that could take years to pass.
它会将复仇式色情归为犯罪行为。但可能要花上数年才能通过法案。
So what are we left with in the meantime? Flimsy civil misdemeanors.
所以，在这期间，我们还有什么？很不周密的民事轻罪。
Currently, only 40 states and DC have some laws in place for revenge porn.
目前，只有四十个州及华盛顿特区有一些能处理复仇色情的法律。
And those penalties vary -- we're talking $500 fines.
罚款各有不同--我们在谈的是500美元的罚款。
Five hundred dollars? Are you kidding me?
500美元？你在跟我开玩笑吗？
Women are losing their jobs. They're suffering from damaged relationships and damaged reputations.
女性丢掉了工作。她们的关系受到损害，名誉受到损害。
They're falling into illness and depression. And the suicide rates are climbing.
她们因此生病和陷入忧郁。自杀比率在攀升。
You're looking at a woman who spent 11 months in court,
你们现在看着的这个女人，花了十一个月在法庭上，
thirteen trips to the courthouse and thousands of dollars in legal fees, just to get two things:
跑了法庭大楼十三趟，花费数千美元的诉讼费，只得到两样东西：
a protection from cyberstalking and cyberabuse, otherwise known as a PFA,
网络跟踪和网络虐待的保护令，也就是一般所知的PFA，
and language from a judge that would force a third-party internet company to remove the content.
以及法官要求第三方网络公司将内容移除。
It's expensive, complicated and confusing.
这实在是既昂贵又复杂，还很让人困惑。
And worse, legal loopholes and jurisdictional issues drag this out for months, while my private parts were on display for months.
更糟的是，法律漏洞和辖区议题又让这件事拖延了几个月，在这几个月间我的私密处就继续被展示着。
How would you feel if your naked body was exposed for the world to see, and you waited helplessly for the content to be removed?
如果你的裸体被公开给全世界看，你会有什么感受？并且你只能无助地等待着内容被移除？
Eventually, I stumbled upon a private company to issue a DMCA notice to shut the website down.
最终，我偶然碰见了一家私人公司，发布了DMCA通知，将该网站关闭。
DMCA -- Digital Millennium Copyright Act. It's a law that regulates digital material and content.
DMCA--数字千年版权法。这项法律是用来规范数字素材和内容用的。
Broadly, the aim of the DMCA is to protect both copyright owners and consumers.
广义来说，DMCA的目标是要保护版权的所有人以及消费者。
So get this: people who take and share nude photos own the rights to those selfies,
所以要了解：拍摄和分享裸照的人，拥有那些自拍照的权利，
so they should be able to issue a DMCA to have the content removed.
所以他们应该能够通过DMCA来将内容移除。
But not so fast -- because the other fight we're dealing with is noncompliant and nonresponsive third-party internet companies.
但没有这么快--因为我们在处理的另一个争论，是那些不服从且不回应的第三方网络公司。
And oh -- by the way, even in consenting relationships, just because you get a nude photo or a naked pic,
喔--顺便一提，即使是在同意的关系中，你取得了一张裸照或裸图，
does not give you the right to share it, even the intent to do harm.
也不表示你有权分享它，即使你并没有任何伤害人的意图。
Back to my case, which happens to be further complicated because he was stalking and harassing me from another country,
回到我的案例，它刚好又更复杂，因为他是从另一个国家跟踪和骚扰我，
making it nearly impossible to get help here.
我在这里几乎是不可能得到协助。
But wait a minute -- isn't the internet international?
但等一下--网络不是国际的吗？
Shouldn't we have some sort of policy in place that broadly protects us, regardless to borders or restrictions?
我们难道没有已经实施的政策可以广泛地保护我们，跨越国界或不受限制？
I just couldn't give up; I had to keep fighting.
我就是无法放弃；我得要继续奋斗。
So I willingly, on three occasions, allowed for the invasion of both my cell phone and my laptop
所以我出于自愿，在三个场合，允许侵入我的手机和笔记本电脑，
by the Department of Homeland Security and the Jamaican Embassy for thorough forensic investigation,
让国土安全部以及牙买加大使馆做彻底的鉴识调查，
because I had maintained all of the evidence.
因为我还保有所有的证据。
I painstakingly shared my private parts with the all-male investigative team.
我很难过地将我的私密处分享给全是男性的调查团队。
And it was an embarrassing, humiliating additional hoop to jump through.
我又承受了这羞辱又尴尬的额外磨难。
But then something happened. Jamaican authorities actually arrested him.
但接着，有影响产生了。牙买加当权机关真的逮捕了他。
He's now facing charges under their malicious communications act,
他现在要面临违反该国恶意沟通法的指控，
and if found guilty, could face thousands of dollars in fines and up to 10 years in prison.
若被判有罪，可能会被处以数千美元的罚金，以及最高十年有期徒刑。
And I've also learned that my case is making history -- it is the first international case under this new crime.
我也得知，我的案例创造了历史--它是这种新型犯罪的第一个国际案例。
Wow, finally some justice.
哇，终于正义得到伸张了。
But this got me to thinking. Nobody deserves this.
但这让我做了些思考。没有人应该承受这种事。
Nobody deserves this level of humiliation and having to jump through all of these hoops.
没有人应该受到这种程度的羞辱、走过这么多磨难。
Our cyber civil rights are at stake. Here in the United States, we need to have clear, tough enforcement;
我们的网民权利正在危急关头。在美国这里，我们需要清楚、强硬的执行；
we need to demand the accountability and responsiveness from online companies;
我们需要要求在线公司负责任并做出回应；
we need to promote social responsibilities for posting, sharing and texting; and we need to restore dignity to victims.
我们需要推动张贴、分享和发送信息的社会责任；我们需要把尊严还给受害者。
And what about victims who neither have the time, money or resources to wage war,
还有一些受害者，没有时间、金钱或资源来开展斗争，他们该怎么办？
who are left disempowered, mislabeled and broken?
他们落得无能为力，被贴上错误的标签，陷入沮丧当中。
Two things: release the shame and end the silence. Shame is at the core of all of this.
两件事：放下羞耻，终结沉默。这一切的核心就是羞耻。
And for every silent prisoner of shame, it's the fear of judgment that's holding you hostage.
对羞耻的所有沉默囚犯来说，挟持他们的正是对于被评断的恐惧。
And the price to pay is the stripping away of your self-worth.
要付出的代价，是剥去你的自我价值。
The day I ended my silence, I freed myself from shame.
我终结沉默的那一天，就让我不再受羞耻的摆布。
And I freed myself from the fear of judgment from the one person who I thought would judge me the most
我不再害怕被他人评断，包括我认为最会评断我的那个人，
my son, who actually told me, "Mom, you are the strongest person that I know. You can get through this.
我儿子，结果他却告诉我：“妈妈，你是我所认识最坚强的人。你能度过这件事的。
And besides, mom -- he chose the wrong woman to mess with."
此外，妈妈--他惹错女人了。”
It was on that day that I decided to use my platform and my story and my voice.
在那一天，我决定运用我的平台、我的故事和我的声音。
And to get started, I asked myself this one simple question: Who do I need to become now?
一开始，我先问我自己一个简单的问题：我现在需要变成谁？
That question, in the face of everything that I was challenged with,
在面对我受到挑战的一切时，那个问题
transformed my life and had me thinking about all kinds of possibilities.
转变了我的人生，让我去思考各种可能性。
I now own my story, I speak my truth, and I'm narrating a new chapter in my life. It's called "50 Shades of Silence."
现在，我承认我的故事，我说出我的真相，我在讲述我人生的新篇章。它叫做“沉默的五十道阴影”。
It's a global social justice project, and we're working to film an upcoming documentary to give voice and dignity to victims.
它是一项全球性的社会正义计划，我们正在拍摄一部即将问世的纪录片，将声音和尊严还给受害者。
If you are a victim or you know someone who is, know this:
如果你是受害者或者你认识任何受害者，请记住：
in order to be empowered, you have to take care of yourself, and you have to love yourself.
若想要有能力做点什么，你得要能照顾好你自己，你得要爱你自己。
You have to turn your anger into action, your pain into power and your setback into a setup for what's next for your life.
你得要把你的愤怒转为行动，把你的痛苦转为力量，把你的挫折转为未来人生境遇的准备。
This is a process, and it's a journey of self-discovery that might include forgiveness.
这是一个过程，是一段自我发现的旅程，它可能会需要有宽恕。
But it definitely requires bravery, confidence and conviction.
但它肯定会需要勇气、信心和信念。
I call it: finding your everyday courage. Thank you.
我称它为：找到你每天日常的勇气。谢谢。
