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And I was just running a bit behind today. I thought, if you guys wouldn't mind,
今天有点晚了，如果大家不介意，
I'd just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes right now. Is that cool with you guys?
我们开始每周的感谢信环节，你们觉得呢？
James, can I get some thank-you-note-writing music, please?
詹姆斯，给我来点背景音乐吧？
He's always in such a good mood during the holidays.
节日期间他的心情一直不错。
Always so cheery during the holidays. Cheery. He's like Mr. Holiday. He's like Mr. Holiday, yep. Jimmy Champagne.
一直很欢乐，欢乐，很像假期先生，假期先生，吉米·香槟。
Thank you, whoever invented eggnog, for saying, You know what would get this party started?
谢谢那个发明蛋奶酒的人，你说了一句“我们如何开始今天的派对？”
Four raw eggs and a pint of bourbon. Thank you, watching my kids build a snowman,
四个生鸡蛋和一品托波本威士忌，谢谢你，让我看着孩子们制作雪人，
for making me realize I did a terrible job teaching my kids what human beings look like. It's like....
这让我意识到我没有教会孩子人类到底长啥样，就像.....
Kind of three balls. What? Not bad. What did you say?
三个球，不赖，你刚才说什么？
Three...three balls, but I was talking about...like, a snowman. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah, snowman.
三个球，我说的是雪人，没错，当然，雪人。
Sure. Yeah. Like, you get, like, the... Sure. Yep. Yeah. Like snowmen. Yeah, exactly. Three balls.
当然，就像这样...没错，耶耶，没错，三个球。
Yeah. What did you think I was saying? Nothing. I thought it was a snowman.
没错，你以为我在说什么？没有什么，我认为是雪人。
How did you know it was a snowman? Because you drew the snowman right there, right?
你怎么知道的？因为你画的是雪人啊？
Thank you, Kriss Kringle, for sounding like a stage name Santa would use if he was a Chippendales dancer.
谢谢克里斯·坤格尔，听起来很像圣诞老人用的艺名，如果他是男性脱衣舞团成员的话。
There's his three balls. That's a snowman. Snowman, yeah, yeah, yeah.
这是他的三个球，是雪人，雪人没错，没错。
Kris Kringle with his North Pole. Put your hands together for Kris Kringle! Oh, yeah!
克里斯·坤格尔和他的北极，为了克里斯·坤格尔将双手放在一起！耶耶。
Take a look at his North Pole, ladies. Jingle balls. Bells. Bells. Jingle bells. All right, whatever.
来看看他的北极女士们，球儿响叮当，铃儿响叮当，铃儿响叮当，没错。
A lot of ho-ho-hos in the house.
房里有许多欢笑声。
Audience members. So, who's ready to get their stocking stuffed? Oh!
观众们，谁准备好将袜子填满礼物？哦哦。
There's more than toys in that sack. All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.
那个麻袋里不只有玩具，好了，好了，好了。
Oh, I'll tell you a joke later. Thank you, snow chains on my tires,
我一会告诉你这个笑话，谢谢轮胎上的防滑链，
for making my car look like it's into weird bondage stuff.
让我的车看起来像被束身了一样。
Thank you, cookie cutters, for turning my kitchen into a tiny edible crime scene.
谢谢饼干模型，让我的厨房变成了可食用的犯罪现场。
That was a good one. Come on. I know, man. Was that the last one? What's that?
这个不错，我知道朋友，这是最后一个吗？啥？
Is that the last thank-you note? This one here? Well, not forever.
这是最后一个感谢信吗？这个吗？永远不是。
I mean for tonight. Yeah, this would be the last one here in this stack of thank-you notes.
我说今晚，这个是这叠感谢信的最后一个。
This would be the, That would be the first one, and this, of course, would be the... Last one? ...last one, yeah.
这将是最后一个，最后一个，当然这将是最后一个，最后一个没错。
So, the one previously, that was the penultimate thank-you note? That was the penultimate...
那么之前那个是倒数第二个感谢信？是倒数第二个...
It was the Martini shot of what would be the thank-you-note movie.
这将是“感谢信”电影的最后一个镜头。
But this would be the, of course, last thank-you note that I will write this evening. Oh. Oh.
但这将是我今晚写的最后一个感谢信，哦哦。
Why? Are you shocked? No. Just wondering. Just wondering. Well...Hmm.
为什么？你为什么惊讶？我只是在想，只是在想，好吧。
Thank-you note. You're thinking about it. I'm thinking.
感谢信，你在想，我在思考。
You didn't think this would be the last one? No, I did not.
你不认为这是最后一个，我不这么认为。
I thought there would be more after this. But go ahead, please. But this is the last one. Please continue. I know.
我以为还有很多，但请继续吧，但这是最后一个，请继续吧，我知道。
I realize that now. I feel like a fool. I feel like a fool.
我认识到了，我感觉像是个傻子，我是个傻子。
Here I am writing thank-you notes, and no one to thank.
我在写感谢信，但没人真的去感谢。
And I'm here reading my jokes for you, and you didn't... No, I was merely misinformed.
我在为你读玩笑，你没有，我仅仅是被误导了。
I thought that the penultimate one was the ultimate one, so that is on me, totally, 365%.
我以为倒数第二个是最后一个，这是我的错，完完全全我的错。
Yeah, so, there you are. And you should let me do the last thank-you note.
好吧，你应该让我完成最后一个感谢信。
And good day to you, sir. Oh. Sir, I have three dances to attend this evening. Three balls.
祝你今天心情舒畅，好吧先生，我今晚有三个舞会要参加，三个舞会。
There he is. It's a good one. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Wow. Oh, my god....
太棒了，很棒，难以置信，难以置信，老天。
Wow. That is...Oh, my goodness. Whew! It's nuts out there.
哦哦，老天啊，哦，那太疯狂了。
Okay. All right. Can you hang for a bit? Yeah. This is the last one, though. Yeah. Okay. Just making sure.
好吧，你还能坚持吗？当然，这是最后一个，没错，只是确定一下。
Just checking. Sorry. Now the volume is low on that. Here we go.
只是看看，对不起，音量有点小，来了。
Thank you, stocking stuffers, for letting me know exactly what is near the register at CVS this week.
谢谢圣诞节小礼物，你让我知道这周CVS药店的登记奖励。
There you go, everybody. Those are my thank-you notes.
这就是今天的感谢信环节。
