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Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year when high-school students are graduating.
女士们先生们 又是一年高中毕业季
I'm sure we have a few here. And you're think being what you want to do with your future.
我相信在座也有刚毕业的高中生吧 你们应该也在考虑未来要做什么工作吧
Well, a strip club in Michigan has a suggestion.
对此 密歇根州的一家脱衣舞俱乐部有个小建议
And it's upset a lot of people in the town of Harrison where they posted a sign outside their club reading now hiring, class of 2016.
这家俱乐部把招聘海报贴在了哈里森镇 上面写招聘16年的毕业生 该镇的居民非常愤怒
Now apparently people were enraged by this.
很多人都对这则海报表示不满
But I don't know why they're getting so mad.
但我不懂为什么他们这么生气
The sign didn't say they were only hiring strippers.
海报上并没有说他们只招聘脱衣舞者啊
Strip clubs also need accountants.
脱衣舞俱乐部也是要会计的
I mean this doesn't seem all that surprising.
这并不是多令人吃惊的事吧
If there's one thing a strip club is known for is giving out plenty of jobs.
脱衣舞俱乐部挺出名的一点就是他们创造了很多就业机会啊
I mean seriously, what do people expect. It's a strip club.
说真的 你们在期待什么啊 这是脱衣舞俱乐部啊
Like when you start saying can you believe what the strip club wrote on their—I'm like let me stop you there, yes, I can.
试想下 如果你说 你敢相信吗 脱衣舞俱乐部居然在他们的招聘启事上写——我一定会说 别说了 我敢相信
No matter what it is, I definitely believe it.
不管写什么 我绝对都是信的
But also in the news recently, two teenagers played a prank on patrons of the San Francisco museum of modern art
最近有条新闻说 两个少年在旧金山当代艺术博物馆玩了个恶作剧
when they placed a pair of eyeglasses on the floor and people thought it was an art installation.
他们把自己带的眼镜放在了博物馆的地上 来参观的人纷纷以为这是一件展品
Completely true, right?
真事儿
Look at the way people were reacting to this.
看看看展的人们对此的反应吧
How terrible were all the other exhibits?
其它的展品到底是有多烂
For a pair of glasses on the floor to fit right in, you know?
才会让一副放在地板上的眼镜都被人们当成展会的一部分
I wish I was there when they found out it was a prank.
我真希望在恶作剧被揭穿的一刻我也在场
You just know there was some pretentious guy who was like, I love the negative space.
你知道的 总有些装腔作势的人喜欢说 我喜欢这种悲伤的氛围
Who's the artist and the kid is like lensCrafters.
作者是谁 两个孩子回答说 眼镜店主
But I mean who can say what is and isn't art.
但是谁又能断言什么是艺术 而什么又不是呢
I think the definition of art is anything your dad will look at and go phh, I could have done that.
我觉得 艺术的定义就是你爸看着说 切 这个我也会的作品
But you didn't, yeah, but I could have. But you didn't.
但你没做啊 是 但是我会 但你就是没做
Some of the people who thought this was real were embarrassed and I really do empathize with this.
那些把眼镜当成展品的人一定很尴尬 我对此表示同情
This was just like the time I was in Rome
就像有一次 我在罗马
and I found out that the naked man had been staring at for an hour wasn't Michelangelo's David, just some guy named David.
发现我看了一个小时的那个裸男并不是米开朗基罗的大卫 就是个普通的大卫
I mean—but also in San Francisco, a new gym called power plant fitness is opening
旧金山新开了一家叫做能量健身的健身中心
that will plan a training regime for you that combines working out with consuming marijuana, right?
他们有一种新的锻炼计划 是把锻炼跟吸大麻结合起来
I know. Just—yeah, just what I need, Reg.
我明白 你说的对 雷吉 非常适合我
More guys laughing at me while I'm at the gym, do you know what I mean?
我现在去健身房 越来越多的人笑我了 你们知道吗
It's really interesting. Here's how the gym works. You go there.
真的很有意思 是这样的 你去了之后
You get high, and then someone goes oh no, it's the cops and then you just run and run and run and run. So fast.
嗑药嗑嗨了 然后一个人在旁边喊 天哪 警察来了 然后你就开始跑 一直跑 一直跑 跑得贼快
But it must be really annoying when you are working out and you're like one, two—
但有种情况就很烦 你一边练着 一边数 1 2——
wait, what number was that again?
等会儿 刚数到哪儿了
Finally tonight, this is my favorite story,
今天的最后一条 也是我最喜欢的
a judge in Italy has ruled that a divorced father who hit hard times could pay his child support in the form of Pizza from the restaurant he ran, right?
意大利一位法官判一位离婚的贫困父亲可以以从自家经营的披萨店中送披萨给儿子的方式支付赡养费
I mean an Italian man paying his child support in Pizza even super Mario is like now that's a stereotype.
这位意大利人支付赡养费的方式 就连超级马里奥看了也得说一句真死板
But everything worked out all right in the end.
但是这件事最后圆满解决了
Apparently the man is remarried with three step children
这名男子带着三名继子再婚了
which explains the name of his new pizza restaurant, you're not my real papa johns.
这就解释了他的披萨店名 这不是真正的棒约翰
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
谢谢大家
