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Thank you so much, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the show. You wanna hear some jokes?
谢谢大家，欢迎欢迎，欢迎来到节目，你们想听笑话吗？
Well, you guys, the 2020 presidential campaign is already starting to heat up and I read that, so far,
朋友们，2020年总统大选已经开始升温，听说到目前为止，
five Democratic candidates have come out in favor of legalizing weed.
五名民主党竞选人支持大麻合法化。
Which is why the first debate will be held at 2:00 am inside a Taco Bell. Oh. Mm-hmm.
这也就是为什么第一场辩论将在两点钟，塔可钟里面举行，嗯嗯。
That's right, five candidates endorsed legalizing weed. The other candidates say they wanna endorse it, too,
没错，五名竞选人支持合法化，另外其他候选人说他们也想支持，
but, first, they wanna know: You a cop? You have to tell me, legally, if you are.
但首先他们想知道，你是警察吗？你必须告诉我，从法律上，如果你是的话。
Oh, it looks like former Vice President Joe Biden might enter the race. This week, Biden quoted the Greek philosopher Plato
似乎前副总统约瑟夫·拜登将参加竞选，本周，拜登引用了希腊哲学家普拉多的话，
while discussing the election. Meanwhile, Eric Trump ate Play-Do while discussing the election.
当时他在谈论选举，同时，埃里克·特朗普在谈论选举时吃了Play-Do模膏。
It smells better than it tastes! Tastes salty! Here's another big story:
它闻起来的味道比吃更棒，尝起来很咸，另外一个消息：
After this week's summit fell apart, North Korea says, Kim Jong-un may have lost the will for future negotiations.
本周峰会失败后，朝鲜说金正恩或许已失去了对未来谈判的意愿。
meanwhile, when they heard the phrase lost the will, all of Trump's kids passed out. W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wuu!
同时，当他们听到失去意愿时，小特所有的孩子们都昏了过去，哦哦哦哦。
Some more news here. I saw that Kia just debuted a new electric car that has a dashboard with 21 screens.
来看看其它新闻，听说起亚推出了一款新电动车，它的仪表盘有21块屏幕。
21 screens. They even have a name for it: the Accidente. Urrhh! Krrkkhh!
21块屏幕，他们甚至还给它起了名字，意外事故，哦哦哦哦。
Oh, and I read that the sound of police car, fire truck, and ambulance sirens may be changing in New York City.
听说纽约警车声，救火车声以及救护车声都将发生改变。
This is gonna be a big change for the city after many years, so,
多年以后，这个城市将迎来改变，
here to tell us more is Emergency Medical Services Director Joseph Davis. Come on out, Joseph. Oh, you're here already.
下面有请急诊医疗服务主任约瑟夫·戴维斯，欢迎约瑟夫，你来了。
How are you? Joseph, welcome. Now, Joseph, can you tell us a little about what we can expect from this change?
你好吗约瑟夫，约瑟夫，能不能告诉我们将迎来怎样的改变？
Of course. Well, as all New Yorkers know, for many, many years, the city's police siren has been this: Oo-uh! Oo-uh! Oo-uh!
当然，所有纽约人都知道，多年以来，该城的警车声都是这样的，哦哦哦哦。
That's correct, right. Or sometimes this: Buah, buah! Buah-buah, buah! Buah!
没错，有时也是这样的，不不不不不不。
Yeah, I gotcha. While the fire truck siren has been more of a: Urrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
没错，消防车更像是这样，呜啊呜啊呜呜呜呜啊。
That's right, yeah. I do recognize that one. Yeah. I do. Yeah. But, after receiving literally billions upon billions of complaints over the years,
没错，我认识这个，我知道，但几年来接到了数十亿个投诉后，
we've decided to try out a few new sirens, you see. So, for instance, let's say someone falls off their bike into the East River.
我们决定更换铃声，你们看啊，比如某人骑车跌落进了东河。
If you're within a few blocks of an ambulance, you might soon hear this: Ehhhnnn.
如果你离救护车只有几个街区，你会听到这样的声音，哼哼。
So this is a bit different, then. Exactly, yep. Little change. Let me ask you: Have you considered trying something like this? Like: Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
有点不同了，没错，有一点改变，你有没有想过像这样呢？耶耶耶耶。
You know, we did try that. We tried it, yeah. It tested a little bit, It tested decently, but not nearly as well as: Uu-eh! Uu-eh!
我们试过，我们试过，但测试结果有点，有点体面，但我觉得还是这个好，俄啊俄啊。
See, that's weird because I wouldn't have guessed that Uu-eh! Uu-eh! would have tested better than Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
很奇怪啊，因为我猜不到会是饿啊饿啊，我觉得应该比耶耶耶耶好。
Me neither, but Uu-eh! Uu-eh! did, indeed, test better than Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
我也是这么觉得，但哼哼奏效，比耶耶耶好多了。
All right, well, fair enough. Now, Joseph, I'm curious. What about something like...? Ay-oh-nah! Ay wheh! Wheh-eh! Macarena! Yep.
这很公平，约瑟夫，我很好奇，这个怎么样？哎呀，哎呀，欧耶耶，玛卡雷娜，耶耶。
You know, that's an interesting idea. Actually, I think I'm gonna write that one down.
很有意思的想法，我想我要写下来。
Oh, really? Yeah, sure. Can you do that again? Sure. Ay-oh ay-oh-eah! Hey, Macarena! Okay, yeah. Okay.
真的吗？当然，你能再做一遍吗？哎呀，哎呀，欧耶耶，玛卡雷娜，耶耶。
So it's kinda like: Oh-eh oh-eh oh-eh oh-eh oh-eh! No. No, it's like: Ay-oh ay-oh-eah!
很像是噢噢噢噢噢噢噢噢，不，很像是哦耶哦耶，
Kinda like: Oh hey hey oh hey. Hey, Macarena! Hai eh-yoh weh-oh. Hey, Macarena!
很像是哦耶哦耶，玛卡雷娜，嗨欧耶，玛卡雷娜。
Hai eh-yoh weh-oh. Hey, Macarena! Yeah. Yeah. Good? Yeah. You know what? That's perfect.
嗨欧耶，嗨玛卡雷娜，不错吧？真的很棒哦。
In fact, I like that so much, that I am now declaring that the official siren of New York City! Thank you so much!
我很喜欢这个，我宣布纽约的官方铃声，谢谢。
Joseph Davis, everyone! My goodness. Thank you so much. Wow. He is really talented.
约瑟夫·戴维斯，老天啊，谢谢啊，他很有才华。
Hey, guys, listen to this: Disney has a new Star Wars theme park.
朋友们听听这个，迪士尼推出了全新的《星球大战》主题公园。
And they're promising a fully physical and immersive experience.
他们承诺让大家进行沉浸式的身体体验。
So, kids, get ready for a ride where Dad cuts your hand off. Yeah.
孩子们，准备坐上过山车，让爸爸砍掉你的手，没错。
Luke, I...Oh-kzwah! Pbbt! Finally, I read that Florida's Clearwater Beach was just voted the best beach in America. Yeah.
卢克，噗噗噗，听说佛州清水湾被投票为全美最棒的海滩，没错。
And, soon as I just said that, it became the worst beach in America. There you go. Guys. Now everyone's gonna go.
当我说完这个话后，它变成了全美最差劲的海滩，所有人都要去了。
