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Feelings are easy to catch, it's the confessing, committing and compromising that requires the real work.
感情很容易捕捉，真正需要付出努力的是承认、承诺和妥协。
You can meet someone any day, be inspired by one another, have fun together but not put a label on anything.
你可以在任何一天遇到一个人，互相启发，一起玩得开心，但却不会为这段关系贴上标签。
What's the deal with that anyway?
这种情况该怎么办呢？
Here are nine possible reasons someone is not ready for a relationship even if they like you.
以下是对方喜欢你却没准备好和你恋爱的9个可能原因。
1. They're not completely over their ex.
1. 他们还没有完全忘记前任。
They like and respect you which is why they don't want to get involved with you anytime soon.
他们喜欢并尊重你，所以他们不想这么快就和你开始一段关系。
They just got out of a long-term relationship and it takes time to get over their ex.
他们刚刚结束了一段长期恋情，需要时间来忘记他们的前任。
It's not necessarily a reflection of who you are that keeps them from wanting to commit.
这并不能说明他们不想给你承诺。
There's just a lot of emotional baggage they have to start through first
只是他们首先需要从很多的情感包袱中解脱出来
before they can focus on just the two of you.
之后才能只专注于你们俩。
2. Their job requires frequent traveling.
2. 他们的工作需要经常出差。
Are they constantly on the go? Can they even handle a long term relationship?
他们是否总是很忙？他们甚至能够处理好长期的恋爱关系么？
These are questions to carefully consider when you like someone.
喜欢一个的时候，这些问题都是需要仔细考虑的。
If you're especially the type of person to crave stability and would like to build a solid relationship,
如果你是那种追求稳定和牢固恋爱关系的人，
it's no wonder they're not ready to establish anything serious with you.
也难怪他们没有准备好和你正式在一起。
They're aware that they aren't always going to be in a single setting for too long
他们知道自己不可能在一个环境待太久
but they appreciate the connection that both of you made
但他们尊重你俩之间的联系
or they may not get too attached to you in the first place,
否则他们一开始就不会被你吸引，
because it'll be painful for them when they leave.
因为当他们离开时，会很痛苦。
3. Their values don't align with yours.
3. 你们的价值观不一样。
Maybe you feel like you'll never find someone quite like them.
或许你觉得你再也找不到像他们这么合拍的人了。
They share the same taste in music as you, you know how to finish each other's sentences
他们的音乐品味和你一样，你们知道怎么接彼此的话
and sharing dessert is always a treat with them, but that's not necessarily soul mate material per se.
和他们分享甜点总是一种享受，但这并不是灵魂情侣的必要条件。
Deeper values may clash. Maybe you don't want kids maybe they do
你们更深层次的价值观可能会有冲突。或者你不想要孩子，但他们想
or you see yourself living in the big city but they want a quiet life in the suburbs.
或者你想住在大城市，而他们向往乡村安静的生活。
It's these differences that will test whether you two can establish a long-term relationship.
这些不同才是对你俩是否能够建立长期恋爱关系的检测。
4. They're in a super stressful time.
4. 他们正处于非常焦虑的时期。
They might be juggling loss like family death or unemployment or they could be experiencing the opposite
他们可能在因为失去而挣扎，比如家人去世、失业或者正好相反
whether working too much and can't carve out time to be with you consistently.
他们太忙或是抽不出时间陪你。
In this case, they have so much going on that the idea of dating seems nearly impossible.
在这种情况下，约会对他们而言近乎不可能。
It would be more of a burden to their health and your own instead of benefiting both sides.
恋爱对他们和你更是负担而无法让双方获益。
5. They're still trying to discover who they are.
5. 他们还在努力寻找自己是谁。
Starting a relationship means taking on more responsibility.
开始一段关系意味着承担更多的责任。
If they have plans to relocate for their dream job or would like to date casually instead of seriously, let them
如果他们计划换工作或是只是随意约会而不是认真对待，就放手吧
because trying to persuade or chase them will only leave you empty-handed, disappointed and hurt.
因为说服或追逐他们只会让你空手而归、失望、受伤。
Evaluate why you feel a need to possess or control and ask yourself if that's how you want to treat a potential partner.
评估为什么你觉得有必要占有或控制，问问自己你想怎么对待自己的潜在伴侣。
6. They have commitment phobia.
6. 他们有承诺恐惧症。
This can stem from past trauma such as a former toxic relationship.
这可以源自过去的创伤，如和前任有毒的关系。
Establishing trust is something they're still learning
他们仍在学习建立信任
so seeking a relationship this very moment seems out of the question.
所以在此时寻求一段关系似乎是不可能的。
Instead of making them more anxious, encourage them and let them know you're not here to play mind games
不要让他们更加焦虑，相反要鼓励他们，让他们知道你不是来玩心理游戏的
ultimately though it's up to them to either accept or reject your invitations.
虽然最终接受还是拒绝你的邀请都要取决于他们。
7. They aren't happy with themselves.
7. 他们对自己不满意。
Do they struggle with low self-esteem, pessimism or depression?
他们是否在与自卑、悲观或抑郁作斗争?
Realize that battling these inner demons can be taxing and respect their need for space.
要意识到，与这些内心的恶魔作斗争是很费力的，要尊重他们对空间的需求。
The healthier a person feels, the better equipped they are to enter a relationship.
一个人感觉约健康，他们越能为进入一段关系做好准备。
When unhappiness is a constant struggle, it can cause them to view relationships
当不快乐是一场持续的斗争时，这会让他们用一种非黑即白
in a very black-and-white good or bad manner, which can create communication problems.
非好即坏的方式看待恋爱，这样会造成沟通问题。
8. They aren't in a place to compromise right now.
8. 他们现在没有妥协的余地。
Most of these reasons have focused on difficulties but maybe everything is actually going super well for them.
上述大部分原因都集中于各种难题，但或许他们一切进展顺利。
They've been content with their self journey and have a lot of plans to continue growing alone.
他们对自己的独自旅途很满意，他们还有很多继续独自成长的计划。
There's nothing wrong with that. If they aren't in a mindset to settle down with someone, that's ok.
这些都没错。如果他们没有和某人安定下来的心态，这也没关系。
9. They like you but aren't falling in love with you.
9. 他们喜欢你，但没有爱上你。
So the two of you are getting closer but are there feelings actually deepening for you?
你们俩人越走越近，但你们的感情真的在加深吗？
Although the best relationships have a strong friendship,
虽然最好的恋情都有牢固的友谊支撑，
sometimes that person might only see you as a friend without the romantic attraction.
但有时对方可能只是把你当朋友对待，不惨杂任何情爱。
Unrequited love is hard to handle but thank them for their time and realize you still have a whole life ahead of you.
单恋很难搞定，但感谢他们的付出的时间，要意识到你还有很长的路要走。
Want more fun animated content check out and subscribe to Data's,
想看更多有趣的动画内容，请查看和订阅Data的节目，
he shares his awkward moments, teacher crushes and much more.
他会分享他的尴尬时刻等等。
Watch him evolve through his humorous and quirky ways it might just inspire you and make your day.
看看他如何通过幽默化解，或许能启发你，让你开心。
If you also like this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up and as always thanks for watching.
如果你喜欢本期视频，请点赞。感谢收看。
