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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
女士们先生们 晚上好
I hope you've been having a great summer. I love you, too, sir. Thank you.
希望你们夏天过的开心 我也爱你先生 谢谢
I hope everyone has been having a great summer.
希望大家夏天都过得开心
Now, the Rio Olympics are just a few days away and there's continuing controversy
现在距离里约奥运会已经只剩下几天时间了 但现在还是有一些争论
casting its shadow over an already controversial Olympics.
给这场本来就充满争议的奥运会蒙上了阴影
Because it's alleged that almost 100 athletes are suspected of using banned substances in the 2008 and 2012 Olympics.
据说 从2008年到2012年的两届奥运会中 有将近100位运动员被怀疑违规使用药物
And they suspect many athletes this year, too.
今年也有些运动员受到了怀疑
Because anyone who wants to go to Rio Olympics has to be on drugs.
毕竟不磕点药谁有勇气去参加里约奥运会呢
98 athletes in the last two Olympics are suspected of doping, or as it's technically called wanting it more.
在前两届奥运会中 有98名运动员被怀疑使用兴奋剂 或者从技术层面讲 想要更好的名次
At this point, they should just make peeing in a cup into an Olympic sport.
在这种情况下 我觉得他们应该在赛场上都做尿检得了
I think just let everyone do drugs. Everyone do drugs is a fair playing field. Do you know what I mean?
我觉得应该上所有人都用兴奋剂 这样一来比赛就公平多了 你们明白我意思吗
What's more exciting than a nine-second 100-meter dash? A three-second 100-meter dash.
9秒100米短跑多刺激啊 还有3秒100米跑
When the weight lifters are putting powder on their hands, they're like—
举重运动员涂防滑粉的时候 直接……
Speaking of doping, it was discovered the water, I do not know if you saw this, the water in the town of Hugo, Colorado, was registering high levels of THC.
说到兴奋剂 有人发现 不知道你们看到这个没有 科罗拉多的雨果镇的水中 含有高浓度的THC
Do you know what THC is, Reg? No.
雷吉 你知道THC是什么吗 不知道啊
Let me educate you. THC is the chemical in marijuana that gets you high.
我来教你 THC就是大麻里面让你嗑嗨的那个化学物质
Yeah. I know. Just when you thought a bubble bath couldn't get any more relaxing.
我明白 就像是泡泡浴一样 很让人放松
Local officials realized the problem when they went to a nice restaurant in town and
当地官员到一家高级酒店时 发现了这个问题
the waiter asked them whether they wanted tap, sparkling or to see some stuff.
因为服务员问他们 想要自来水 气泡水 还是想看点不一样的
But there is a lot of THC in the water there.
当地的水中含有大量的THC
In fact, if you drop your phone in the toilet in that town and then put your phone in rice, it eats the rice.
如果你把手机掉到镇上的厕所里 然后把手机放到米里面 它会把大米腐蚀掉
And finally, some sad news today in the world of technology, because it was announced
最后十几条科技界的坏消息 据称
that the last company to commercially produce VCR'S, which is Funai electronics of Japan,
最后一家生产VCR的公司 也就是日本的Funai电子
will discontinue selling the VHS tape players this month.
从本月开始就不再销售VHS录像播放器了
I konw. For those of you who don't know what a VCR is, it's that large clock underneath your great aunt's TV.
我明白 可能你们有人不知道VCR是什么 其实就是你叔祖母电视下面的那个大钟
That's right, but the thing is no more VCR'S which begs the question, how will the CBS audience continue recording our show?
是的 但是这样问题就来了 那CBS的观众以后怎么看我们节目呢
But don't worry, if you do enjoy clinging to obsolete relics from the 1980's, you can still just vote for Donald Trump.
别担心 如果你真的喜欢这些20世纪80年代的已经被市场淘汰的老古董的话 继续给特朗普投票就好啦
