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Welcome to the show. We're going to start with some politics.
欢迎收看我们节目 我们先来聊点政治相关的
Since the conclusion of the democratic convention, Hillary Clinton has opened up a seven-point lead over her opponent Donald Trump.
民主党大会结束后 希拉里·克林顿的支持率领先唐纳德·特朗普七个百分点
And I think we have video of the democrats' reaction to that. That's actually from the 1996 democratic convention.
我们这有个视频 记录了民主党人士对此的反应 这个视频实际上来自1996年的民主党大会
Hillary's like, yeah, I'll clap, but I'm not doing the dance. I want to be president in 20 years.
希拉里好像在说 鼓掌可以 舞我是不跳的 我20年后还要当总统的
With Donald Trump on defense, president Obama piled on this morning saying in a press
另外现任总统奥巴马今早在新闻发布会上称
conference he feels Trump is unfit to be president.
他觉得特朗普不适合当总统
That's right. America's first black president is begging you not to elect America's first orange one.
是的 美国首位黑人总统在求你们不要选出首位黄种人总统
But Trump himself seems to be aware of the shifts in public opinion which is why it
但特朗普似乎对民众意见的变化了如指掌 所以他给自己的落后已经找好了借口
seems like he's already building an excuse for a loss by saying the November election will probably be rigged.
就是告诉大家11月的大选背后有人在操纵
Former democratic candidate Al Gore weighed in saying, yeah, we wouldn't want that to happen!
前民主党候选人阿尔·戈尔发言说 是的 我们不希望发生这种事
But Trump took a dip in the polls and immediately said that the election was rigged.
而特朗普只是稍微落后就说有人幕后操作
And you just know that if Donald Trump was a teenager he definitely would be the kid
可见如果他还小 玩游戏时要是落后了
who turns the Nintendo off the second he starts losing at Mario Kart.
他就会将游戏机关掉
You know what I mean? You know that kid. Simon Turner. What a dick!
你们明白我意思吗 我说的就是 西蒙·特纳 真的个小混蛋
Trump's determined to show he's a man of the people.
于是特朗普决定表现一下自己的亲和力
On Monday, Trump tweeted out this photo of himself enjoying dinner from Kentucky Fried Chicken. All right?
周一 特朗普发推 贴了一张自己吃肯德基的照片
I gotta say, it kind of undercuts your message that you're an everyman
其实我想说 如果你是为了表现自己的亲和力
when you're eating that KFC with a knife and fork on a private jet.
在私人飞机上用刀叉吃肯德基显然 并不怎么有说服力
But when I saw the photo, it reminded me of something, look at this photo that Trump posted himself eating a taco bowl.
但是看到照片时 我还是想起了一些东西 看看他在塔克家吃东西的照片
Look at that, right. Now, look, it's the same face in both pictures. Look.
看 两张照片的表情简直一模一样
That's Trump's I'm about to eat face. Which makes me really nervous about this picture.
这就是特朗普的 我要开动了 表情 于是我看到这张照片的时候就很紧张
Now, let's get off Trump news, thank god, because there was another huge political development.
说完特朗普 我们要感谢一下我们最近在政治上取得的巨大进步
Apple has announced that it'll be removing the handgun emoji from its smart phones and
苹果宣布将从智能机上移除手枪的表情
replacing it with an emoji of a squirt gun.
取而代之的是一把水枪的表情
So in case you weren't paying attention, there are now more restrictions on gun emojis
这是非常有意义的 特别是现在对于枪的表情包的限制
in the United States than on actual guns.
比对真枪的限制还严格
You know, I'm thinking like if we are going to replace an emoji, can we just get rid of the eggplant
我在想 如果要换表情的话 可不可以不要茄子的表情
and replace it with an actual penis?
换成真正的生殖器呢
You never use the eggplant as an eggplant.
反正茄子从来不是用来表示真正的茄子的
No one is taking their friends like, hey, guys, want to get some eggplant tonight?
并不会有人对朋友说 我们今天晚上吃茄子好吗
Because if you do, they're going to think you want to have sex with them.
因为如果你这么问 他们肯定觉得你是在问要不要跟他们上床
And finally, this blows all the other stories out of the water because the associated
最后 联合通讯社发现
press has released findings that flossing—that's the sign language for flossing—
用牙线清洁牙齿——这个是用牙线的意思——
long thought to be an integral part of dental hygiene almost has no actual benefits!
的做法并没有任何用处 以前大家都觉得它能帮助清洁口腔
I know! Can you believe it? I always heard four out of five dentists recommended flossing, and you just know that
我就知道 你们能相信吗 反正我日常见到的5个牙医里有4个推荐牙线的
that fifth dentist right the now is like, nobody believed me! You all said I was crazy. Well, who's crazy now?
第5个牙医现在的反应是 你们以前没人相信我 你们还说我疯了 现在看看 疯的到底是谁
In fact, we have video of that fifth dentist right after he heard the news. Here he is.
实际上 我们这还有一个视频 记录了第5个牙医看到这条新闻的反应 一起看
