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Meeting my wife's parents for the first time, my parents... And so they went to the... My......
第一次见到岳父岳母，我的父母，他们去了...我。
This family has this summer home. Old summer home. It's been like, five generations in the family, in New Hampshire.
他们家有一个避暑别墅，一个老式的避暑别墅，很像是，五代同堂的感觉，在新罕布什尔州。
And it's a beautiful place. So, my parent's come up... My mom calls me before she comes.
那是一个非常美丽的地方，所以我的父母就想起...我妈妈在去之前给我打了电话。
She goes, Uh, hi, honey. I go Hey, Mom. She goes, Don't hang up.
她说嗨亲爱的，我说你好妈妈，她说不要挂。
Which usually means that she ha something that's gonna make me mad and I'm gonna hang up.
这通常意味着她会做一些让我抓狂的事情，然后我将挂电话。
So I go, What's going on? She's like, Look, it's not a big deal.
我说怎么了？她说没事，不是什么大事。
Daddy lost his front tooth last night. What are you talking about?
你爸爸昨天晚上掉了门牙，你在说什么？
She goes, He bit into something and he l... I go, Well, go see a...go to a dentist.
她说他吃了什么东西，然后我说去看牙医啊。
What are you talking about? And she goes, The dentist is on vacation. He can't go to...
你在说什么？她说牙医度假去了，他没法去。
I go, What are you gonna do? And she goes, He's just not gonna smile this week.
我说你要怎么做？她说这周他没法笑了。
And I go, What are you talking about? And...and.. So...So then she goes...
我说你在说什么？然后...然后她说。
So I go, All right, I'm gonna hang up. She goes, Uh, don't hang up. I have one more thing.
我说好吧我要挂了，她说不要挂，我还有一件事情。
I rubbed my eye in my sleep last night. I have a real bloodshot eye. And go, Gross! So I go...
我还没从昨晚的睡意中苏醒，还在揉眼睛，我的眼睛充斥着血丝，我说太恶心了，我说...
This is my parents, you know, a pirate and a jack-o'-lantern, all right?
这是我的父母，一名海盗和一盏南瓜灯，好吧。
So they came in a while, so they're hanging out, and then we're hanging out there.
他们进入了避暑别墅，然后出去玩耍，我们出去玩耍了。
My mom had trouble walking, something like that. So we're...I'm on the second floor
我的母亲腿脚不好等等，所以我们在二层，
with my girlfriend at the time, in separate rooms, when over there, and...
我和我的女朋友，但我们分开住，当时在别墅的时候，
I say hi to her, something like that, and then we hear a knock on the door.
我对她说嗨，等等，然后我们听到房门响了。
I go, It can't be my mom. She wouldn't walk up the stairs.
我去开门，肯定不是我妈妈，她不会上楼的。
So my... She goes, What? So I open the door, and it's my mom.
然后她说谁？我去开门，一看是我妈。
She goes, Everything's fine. So, earlier in the day, my dad jumped in the lake to just show everybody, like...
她说一切都很棒，早上我爸爸跳进湖里，像大家打个招呼...
It was actually too cold to swim, but he jumped in for fun. He did a handstand in the lake.
水温很凉无法游泳，但他跳了进去，只是为了好玩，他在湖里做了一个倒立。
It was funny. And it, like, got a laugh or whatever. So I go, What's going on? Is that smoke?
很有趣，引人大笑等等，我说咋了？是烟吗？
Mom, are you lighting the summer house, this family's summer house on fire?
妈你是吧别墅给点了吗？避暑别墅着火了？
Like, what's going on? She's like, It's...No, everything's fine.
怎么了？她说不是，一切都很棒。
Daddy wet his money when he jumped in the lake. So he put it in the microwave.
你爸爸跳入湖中时钱湿了，然后他放在微波炉中。
My dad... My dad lit $500 on fire. And there were burnt $20 bills all over the kitchen.
我爸爸把500美金点燃了，然后厨房里有烧着的20美金现金。
I go, What are you guys doing? You just got here! Just... I'm like, She's never gonna marry me.
我说你们在干嘛？你们刚到这里，我说她不会和我结婚了。
She's never gonna marry me. Five minutes, you've been...Five minutes, you've been here.
她不会和我结婚了，五分钟，你刚到这里五分钟，你来这里。
What is going on? And of course, he's piling up all the 20's and not smiling. You know, like my... I love you, Dad. I love you, Dad.
咋回事？当然，他将20美金现金堆起来，而且没有笑，我爱你爸爸，我爱你爸爸。
