评论
打印
Moving on can be one of the hardest things to do, especially after the first failed relationship.
继续前进可能是最难的事情之一，尤其是在初次恋爱失败后。
We're not going to tell you it gets easier nor are we going to tell you there are plenty of fish in the sea.
我们不会告诉大家事情会变得更加容易，也不会告诉大家天涯何处无芳草。
Heartbreak hurts, what we will tell you though is eventually their hurting will subside.
心碎伤人，我们要告诉大家的是最终这些伤痛都会消退。
Maybe not now, tomorrow or next week,
或许不是现在、明天或下周，
but things will start to look up again as you spend time growing with close loved ones and rediscover yourself.
但当你花时间和你深爱的人一起成长，重新发现自己的时候，事情就会重新开始好转。
Are you ready to tie the loose threads once and for all? Here are seven signs you're ready for closure.
你准备好彻底把松散的线系好了么？以下是你准备好分手的7种迹象。
1. You've accepted that things are no longer working out.
1. 你已经接受了事情不再顺利的事实。
You're not clinging on to any more false hope nor are you considering this last meetup as an opportunity to fix things.
你不再执着于虚假的希望，也不再把最后一次见面看作是解决问题的机会。
You've come to terms with the fact that it was either bad timing, incompatibility
你已经接受了这个事实，要么是时机不对，要么就是两人不合拍
or the lack of compromise that has prevented the relationship from growing.
或是缺乏妥协从而阻碍了两人关系的发展。
You're not looking to justify your actions or criticize your partner anymore, you just want answers.
你不再为自己的行为找理由，也不再批评你的伴侣，你只想要答案。
2. You're ready to take responsibility.
2. 准备好承担责任。
Some might argue that you'd be wasting your time trying to find closure
有些人可能会争辩说，你试图找到结束是在浪费时间
so why is it for many that finding reason is still important? It's simple.
所以为什么很多人仍认为寻找原因很重要呢？很简单。
Psychologists believe that only after understanding the situation
心理学家认为只要在理解这种情况后
people can restructure and understand the past, present and future better.
人们才能更好地重组和理解过去、现在和未来。
In a large part of this process also means taking responsibility for your actions.
在很大程度上，这一过程也意味着你要对自己的行为负责。
You realize that you two took a part in this relationship and you're willing to trust yourself to make better decisions.
你意识到你们两都参与了这段关系，你愿意信任自己，做出更好的决定。
Before we continue the rest of this video, be sure to subscribe to our channel for more content as well as share video with others.
在继续本期视频前，请一定要订阅我们的频道获取更多内容并和他人分享本期视频。
With your help, we can reach more people and provide our support. Now on to point 3.
有了大家的帮助，我们才能为更多人提供支持。现在讲第三点。
3. You've stopped blaming the other person.
3. 不再指责他人。
You've moved past the bitter feelings of resentment.
你已经摆脱了怨恨的痛苦。
You realize that blaming the other person isn't going to change anything.
你意识到责怪他人改变不了任何事情。
Relationship experts believe that many people go into a relationship without assessing their own values.
关系专家认为，很多人在开始一段关系时没有评估自己的价值观。
It's only along the way that when those values clash with another that the relationship often suffers.
只有在这种情况下，当这些价值观与其他价值观发生冲突时，关系才会受到影响。
You want this closure to highlight those moments of disagreement and that two you have different values instead of resenting them for it.
你希望结束这段关系能突出那些分歧的时刻，以及你们不同的价值观，而不是因此怨恨他们。
4. You've stopped blaming yourself.
4. 不再责怪自己。
Self-blame can be common especially if you don't have a strong sense of self.
自责很普遍，尤其是当你没有强烈的自我意识时。
It's hard not to blame yourself after being vulnerable and intimate with someone when you place so much emphasis on what you gave
如果你很强调你所付出，在你和某人变得脆弱和亲密之后，你很难不责怪自己。
But psychologist Alicia Clark states self forgiveness helps you get to the bottom of why your relationship failed
但心理学家Alicia Clark表示自我原谅能帮助你弄清你们关系失败的原因
and prepares you for your next relationship. You're not perfect so don't beat yourself up over it.
并为下一段恋情做好准备。你并不完美，所以不要因此而自责。
5. You want to take important lessons from what went wrong.
5. 你想从错误中吸取重要的教训。
When you're ready for closure, you no longer necessarily you want to react
当你准备好结束这段关系，你不再需要做出反应
but rather you'd like to process the situation from an objective point of view.
而是要从客观的角度来处理情况。
You realize that the only way to go forward is to assess the mistakes
你意识到前进的唯一方法是评估错误
and become proactive in the future so as not to repeat them.
未来要积极主动，以免重蹈覆辙。
6. You understand that the pain is inevitable but temporary.
6. 你明白痛苦不可避免，但却是暂时的。
You might still cry at the thought of your partner and that's OK.
你可能仍然会因为想起你的另一半而哭泣，这没关系。
Even years later, it might still hurt when a certain memory is triggered.
即便多年过后，当某段记忆被触发时，它可能仍然会伤到你。
That's why healing is such a complicated process.
正因此治愈是一个如此复杂的过程。
It's never straightforward, never what we want,
痛苦从来都不是直接的，从来都不是我们想要的
but once we've begun to recognize that it's not going to be forever you're already moving on.
但一旦我们开始意识到痛苦不是永远的，你就已经在前进了。
7. You're ready to hear things you might not want to hear.
7. 你已经准备好了去听一些你可能不想听的东西。
What does it mean to let go? A lot of it comes down to openness,
放手意味着什么？这在很大程度上要归功于开放，
being aware of the loss but not letting it consume you and hearing things that will hurt but are necessary.
意识到失去，但不要让它消耗你以及听一些会伤害你但却是必要的事情。
The truth isn't always kind, easy or convenient but how we welcome it that is ultimately always our choice.
真相并不总是善良、简单或实用的，但我们如何欢迎它始终是我们的选择。
So ask yourself are you ready for closure yet?
所以问问你自己，你准备好结束这段关系了吗？
Want more content on relationships? Check out and subscribe to Lachi.
想获取更多关于恋爱关系的内容？点击关注Lachi
Funny, relatable and down-to-earth, she shares her coming-out story, flirting tips and much more.
她会分享很多关于她出入社交的故事和调情技巧等等。
If you like this video be sure to give it a thumbs-up. As always thanks for watching.
如果你喜欢本期视频，请点赞。感谢收看。
