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And she says "that's OK. That's natural. That's human." And we need to accept it. Because if we don't accept it, then we'll be constantly frustrated. Because we want to change completely, or expect our partner to change completely. Very difficult. Unrealistic. It takes time. It's gradual.
她说“没关系，那很正常，这是人之常情”我们要接受它，因为如果我们不接受它，我们就会一直感到沮丧，因为我们想完全改变或是期待我们的伴侣完全改变，这非常困难，不切实际，需要时间，要循序渐进。
We need to also learn. And we can learn to enjoy the process.
我们也需要学习，可以学习享受这过程
Henry David Thoreau, 1840s: "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts."
19世纪40年代梭罗说过：“我没有看到过更使人振奋的事实了，人类无疑是有能力来有意识地提高他自己的生命的，能画出某一张画、雕塑出某一个肖像，美化某几个对象，是很了不起的。但更加荣耀的事是能够塑造或画出那种氛围与媒介来，从中能使我们发现，而且能使我们正当地有所为。能影响当代的本质的，是最高的艺术”
Again, it's the process; it's not the outcome that matters more. The outcome will lead to a spike but will very quickly to go back to our base level. It's the process of actually doing those activities, the As, the Bs, and the Cs that will lead to a happier- not perfect, not happiest, but happier life.
再强调一次，重要的是过程而非结果。结果会让人有短暂快乐，但很快就会回归到基础水平。是进行这些活动的这个过程，事件A、B、C这些过程让人更快乐——而并非完美，并非最快乐，而是更快乐地生活。
Over time, it takes time to carve out live statue, chipping away the excess stone, the limitations and building a beautiful life.
需要时间来雕刻出生活的雕像，切掉多余的石头，破除限制，打造美好的生活
