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Kristen Stewart is my guest tonight. I love Kristen Stewart. She stars in the new movie Charlie's Angels.
克里斯汀·斯图尔特今晚做客节目，我喜欢克里斯汀·斯图尔特，她出演了新电影《霹雳娇娃》。
That's right. Charlie's Angels is expected to be the biggest female reboot until Elizabeth Warren gets elected in 2020.
没错，《霹雳娇娃》预计将是最大的女性类重拍电影，知道沃伦在2020年选举上获胜。
Yeah, Charlie's Angels is out in two weeks, but if you can't wait that long, you can always head to any bar tonight
没错，《霹雳娇娃》将在两周内上映，但如果你无法等待，你可以今晚去任何一个酒吧，
and find three drunk women posing like this. Hey, I want to wish everyone a happy Halloween.
找到三个醉酒女人，而且要有这样的姿势，嗨，我希望所有人都有快乐的万圣节。
Listen to this. According to Google, this year's most popular Halloween costume is Pennywise the clown from It. Ooh.
听听这个，根据谷歌，今年最著名的万圣节服装是小丑回魂中的小丑，哦哦。
The least popular Halloween costume once again...Sexy Rudy Giuliani.
最不出名的万圣节服装依然是，性感的鲁迪·朱利安尼。
I saw that the company that makes M&M's, Snickers, and Twix starts preparing for Halloween two years in advance.
听说制作巧克力豆，士力架以及曲奇棒的公司提前两年就准备万圣节了。
Meanwhile, the company that makes Necco wafers made one batch 50 years ago and has been selling them ever since.
同时，制作尼克威化的公司50年前制作了第一批威化，并自此开始售卖。
That's right. Today is Halloween, and everyone's in the spirit, so we thought it would be fun to take a moment here at the show
没错，今天是万圣节，所有人都很高兴，所以我们想可以在节目中占用一些时间，这一定很有趣，
to talk about some of our biggest fears. I'll start. My biggest fear is ghosts. Tariq, how about you? What's your biggest fear? Um, definitely,
谈一谈你最大的恐怖，我先开始，我最大的恐怖是鬼，塔里克，你呢？你最大的恐怖是啥？恩，当然，
I'd have to say vampires. Yeah. I feel that, I feel that. Quest, what about you? Uh, zombies, yeah. Cool, cool, cool.
我会说吸血鬼，没错，我感受到了，齐思特，你呢？恩恩，僵尸，恩恩，酷。
How about you, Kamal? What's your biggest fear? Falling in love then getting my heart broken.
你呢卡马尔？你最恐怖啥？坠入爱河，然后心碎的感觉。
All right. Let's, uh...Let's move on to someone else. How about, uh... Sometimes you put yourself out there,
好吧，好吧，来看看其他人，那么，恩，有时你将你自己放在这个位置，
and it can be really hard to be so vulnerable. What's going on? Why are the lights like that? You meet a nice girl, take her to Quiznos.
很难让你自己脆弱下来，啥意思？为什么灯光这样了？你遇到了一个好女孩，带她去凯思林。
You both get toasted subs, and later you send her 50 texts. She writes back once. It says, Yo, stop texting.
你们俩都点了三明治，然后你给她发了50条短信，她回了一天，说不要发了。
Kamal, it sounds like she wasn't that into you, man. I think it's actually all for the, all for the best.
卡马尔，听起来她不太喜欢你，兄弟，我认为重要的是尽力。
A couple months go by. You get a job at Quiznos, hoping to bump into her.
几个月前，你在凯思林找到一份工作，希望和她遇见。
But she never shows up. So you just enjoy a lot of good, fresh turkey. Wait a second. Kamal, is this just one big plug for Quiznos?
但她没有出现，所以你吃了很多美味，鲜美的火鸡，等一下，卡马尔，这不是凯思林的宣传吗？
What can I say, Jimmy? You got me. Quiznos. Good for subs, bad for love. Thank you very much. Those are our biggest fears there.
我能说啥吉米？你懂我，凯思林，三明治很棒，在那里的约会很差，谢谢，这是我们最大的恐怖。
Thank you very much, Roots. Some big news out of Washington today. The House passed the rules for the impeachment probe,
谢谢，紫金乐队，一些华盛顿的新闻，众议院批准了弹劾调查规定。
clearing the way for the potential impeachment of Donald Trump. The United States House of Representatives, 11:29 a.m. on the East Coast,
为弹劾小特提供了道路，美国众议院，东部时间11点29分，
has passed this resolution providing for the rules for the impeachment of President Donald Trump. Yeah.
通过了决议案，为弹劾小特提供了规定，没错。
And right after it passed, Rudy Giuliani butt-dialed 9-1-1. Ooh.
没错，通过以后，朱利安尼误打了911，哦哦。
Today the House voted on a resolution to move forward with the impeachment inquiry.
今天，众议院对决议进行了投票，推动了对小特的弹劾调查。
And you could tell the Democrats were pretty fired up about it. Just listen to them during the vote. Yay or nay, Congressman Thompson?
你可以看到，民主党对这个事情很积极，听听在投票中他们是如何说的，同意或者不同意，国会议员汤姆森？
Yeah, boy! Congressman Nadler? Hootie-hoo! Congresswoman Adams? Yas, queen! Congressman Scott?
好的！国会议员纳德尔？哒哒哒，国会女议员亚当斯？没错女王，国会议员斯考特？
Ya, ya, ooh-la-la. Ya, ya, im-peach-ment. And Speaker Pelosi? Crack open the White Claw!
丫丫拉拉，弹...劾，发言人佩洛西？打开白色的魔抓！
Break open the White Claw? Break open the White Claw! This week, Twitter announced that it's banning all political ads.
打开白色的魔抓？打开白色的魔抓！本周，推特宣布将禁止政治广告。
This is great news. Now Twitter can just be the wholesome, family-friendly social-media platform that it's always been.
这是大新闻，如今，推特将成为健康的，适宜家庭的社交平台，它也是一直如此。
And finally I want to say congratulations to the Washington Nationals on winning their first World Series.
最后，我想祝贺华盛顿国民队，第一次获得职业榜球赛冠军。
The Nationals are such a great team. Can we get a look at them? Yeah, it looks like a pamphlet that comes with a Norelco beard trimmer.
国民队是一直很棒的队伍，我们能看看吗？没错，很像一本手册，里面有飞利浦Norelco的剃须刀。
We have a great show tonight.
我们今晚的节目很精彩。
