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We all have our own unique set of habits, desires, schedules, and ambitions.
我们都有自己独特的习惯、欲望、时间表和抱负。
Sometimes, there's things we do every day and mindsets we have to guide our lives for better or for worse.
有时，我们每天都要做的一些事情以及我们的心态也会引导我们的生活，不管它是好是坏。
If lately you've been feeling down, off, or generally unhappy, but you're not sure why,
如果最近你总无缘无故感到情绪低落或者不开心，
this video might shed some light on what the cause could be. Here are 10 things that are secretly making you unhappy.
本期视频或许有助于解释可能的原因。以下是会让你不开心的10件事。
1. You're extremely goal-oriented.
1. 目的性极强。
Having ambitions and having objectives in life are great qualities.
人生有抱负和目标是伟大的品质。
They make us excited, give us something to look forward to, and achieving them feels empowering.
它们让我们兴奋，让我们有所期待，实现它们让我们充满力量。
But there's also such a thing as being too goal-oriented.
但也有过于执着于目标的情况。
Are you telling yourself things like: I'll feel good when I finally get a perfect grade, or I'll be happy once I get that promotion?
你是否告诉过自己：当我最终得到一个完美的成绩时我会感觉很好，或者当我得到晋升时我会很高兴？
If you constantly have a habit of waiting to arrive at certain destinations in life, it can take you away from being happy now.
如果你总是习惯性地等待人生的某个终点，那么你现在的幸福就会被剥夺。
2. You value possessions over experiences.
2. 你看中物质多过经历。
Do you spend all your money on fancy watches, shoes, clothes, or other material items to make you feel good?
你是否把所有的钱都花在了名贵的手表、鞋子、衣服或其他让你感觉良好的物品上？
There's nothing wrong with pampering yourself with things from the store once in a while,
偶尔从商店里买些东西犒劳一下自己并没有错，
but according to a 20-year study conducted by Psychology Professor, Dr. Thomas Gilovich,
但根据心理学教授Thomas Gilovich博士20年的研究，
our happiness quickly fades after buying things once they become an everyday part of our lives. This is known as hedonic adaptation.
一旦买东西成为我们日常生活的一部分，我们的幸福感就会很快消失。这就是所谓的享乐适应。
Experiences such as music concerts, kayaking, skydiving, or movies may not last as long as that new smartphone you bought.
音乐会、划皮艇、跳伞或看电影等体验可能不会像你新了买的智能手机那么长。
But the positive, exciting memories could last the rest of your life.
但是积极且激动人心的记忆会延续一辈子。
3. You're holding a grudge
3. 记仇。
When you've been wronged by someone, it's easy to feel resentful and angry towards them.
当你被别人冤枉时，你很容易对他们感到怨恨和生气。
And that's a very normal and completely understandable response.
这是非常正常，完全可以理解的反应。
But no matter how badly someone has treated or how much money they've stolen from you,
但不管别人对你有多坏，不管他们偷了你多少钱，
holding a grudge with the intent to hurt them backfires and just ends up hurting yourself.
怀恨在心，想要伤害他们，结果只会适得其反，最终会伤害了你自己。
It may feel good to think you're justified and deserving of extra kindness due to how badly you were abused.
想到自己被虐得如此之深，你理应得到额外的善待，这么想你可能会感觉很好。
But if you never forgive and let go, the anger will only spiral you into more negativity and keep you from being happy.
但如果你永远不原谅放手，愤怒只会让你变得更加消极，让你变得不快乐。
4. You spent a lot of time in the past.
4. 花很多时间沉浸在过去。
It might feel nice for a while to drift off into past memories and reminisce over how fond life was:
沉浸在过去的回忆中，回忆生活是多么美好，这种良好的感觉可能会持续一段时间：
your first kiss, good times you had partying, and winning that football tournament were all amazing times in your life.
你的初吻，你参加派对的美好时光，赢足球赛，这些都是你生命中美妙的时刻。
But there's a difference between thinking about the past and living in it.
但回忆过去和沉浸在过去是有区别的。
Keeping your head in the clouds for too long can rob you of your happiness in the present moment
如果你长时间沉浸在幻想中，你会失去当下的快乐
and make you miss opportunities that are passing right in front of you.
还会让你错过眼前的机会。
What's worse is brewing over negative memories, which will take an even bigger toll on your well-being.
更糟糕的是，消极记忆正在酝酿，它会对你的健康造成更大的损害。
5. You're overly frugal with your money.
5. 你花钱太节俭了。
Saving your hard-earned cash and only spending it when absolutely necessary
把自己挣的钱全存起来，只在绝对需要的时候花钱
and on the best possible deals will help keep your wallet from becoming empty.
而且只花在最划算的买卖上，这可以避免你的钱包变得空空如也。
But if you're so strict with your budget to the point that you're never having any fun or treating yourself with it,
但如果你对自己的预算如此严格，以至于你从来没有任何乐趣或用它来对待自己，
the whole point of trying to save it all can actually make a dent in your happiness. Money is meant to be spent after all.
把所有的钱都存起来实际上会减少你的幸福感。毕竟钱就是用来花的呀。
And as long as you're using a little less than you're making, it's okay to go out to eat or to the movies once in a while.
只要你用的比挣的少一点，偶尔出去吃饭或看电影也没什么。
6. You're not contributing.
6. 不付出。
It's natural to feel like you must keep everything that you own to yourself.
觉得必须把自己拥有的一切都留给自己，这是很自然的想法。
However, according to researchers at Stony Brook University, when we're generous and give or provide to others,
但根据斯托尼布鲁克分校的研究人员，当我们慷慨地给予他人时，
our brains release several chemicals that give us a sense of peace and joy.
我们的大脑会释放几种化学物质，让我们感到平静和喜悦。
In another study, Carnegie Mellon University discovered that people who volunteer around four hours a week
在另一项研究中，卡耐基梅隆大学发现每周做四个小时志愿者的人
are 40% less likely to develop high blood pressure than those who don't. Perhaps giving truly is better than receiving.
患高血压的几率比不做志愿者的人低40%。或许给予真的比接受更好。
7. You avoid all your problems.
7. 逃避所有的问题。
Rather than focusing on the fact you're in debt and have no plan to get out of it,
与其关注自己的债务且没有任何处理的计划，
it's much better to push those thoughts down with binge video gaming,
不如通过疯狂的电子游戏把这些想法压下去，
distracting yourself with social media, drinking, and snacking. Or is it? It's never healthy to dread about your issues and worries.
用社交媒体、喝酒和小吃分散自己的注意力。对你的问题和忧虑感到恐惧是不健康的。
But if those problems aren't properly taken care of, they will only create more stress and unhappiness in your life.
但如果这些问题没有得到妥善处理，它们只会给你的生活带来更多的压力和不幸。
It doesn't matter if you're not thinking about that unaddressed argument you had with your best friend the other day,
如果你不去想前几天你与好友之间未解决的争论，那也没有关系,
because you're still aware of it subconsciously.
因为在潜意识里还是有它的存在。
If you never tackle your issues head-on and try to pretend they're not there, it may only make things worse.
如果你从不正面处理你的问题，并试图假装它们不存在，这只会让事情变得更糟。
8. You allow distractions to guide your day.
8. 你允许各种干扰来引导你的一天。
What's the first thing you do after you wake up? Grab your phone and start swiping on social media? What about during your free time?
你醒后要做的第一件事是什么？拿起手机，开始刷社交网络？那你空闲的时候呢？
If you want to win an Olympic gold medal or become a rock star one day,
如果你想赢得奥运金牌或有朝一日成为摇滚明星，
it will be a good idea to set time aside to start practising, working out, and honing your skills.
留出时间来练习、锻炼和磨练你的技能是个好主意。
But if you find yourself spending your whole day reading through emails, swiping or texting on your phone,
但如果你发现自己整天都在看邮件、刷屏或发短信，
or zoning out while watching TV or playing video games, you usually won't feel good about how you spend your time later in the future.
或是在看电视或玩电子游戏时走神，你通常不会对未来时间如何度过感觉良好。
9. You deflect compliments.
9. 转移赞美。
Sometimes, our self-esteem is low, or we don't want to come off as arrogant or full of ourselves,
有时，我们的自尊很低，或者我们不想表现得傲慢自大，
so we deflect, reciprocate, or discount others' positive words about us.
因此，我们转移、回报或忽视别人对我们的正面评价。
But in reality, there's nothing wrong with accepting people's kind remarks.
但在现实中，接受别人善意的评价没有错。
In fact, that's the whole reason they're complimenting us in the first place.
事实上，这就是他们称赞我们的首要原因。
When we're told we have a nice haircut, if we respond with phrases like, 'It's okay I guess'; or I wish it looked better',
当别人夸我们的发型好看的时候，如果我们回答‘一般’或‘不是很好’，
this isn't the best habit if we want to feel good about ourselves.
如果我们想自我感觉良好，这么回答不是最好的习惯。
10. You're taking life too seriously.
10. 太把生活当回事了。
It's important to be safe, careful, and mindful of the decisions you make in life.
你在生活中所做的决定一定要安全、仔细、谨慎。
But if you're continually afraid of what others think of you, worrying about embarrassing yourself,
但如果你一直害怕别人对你的看法，担心让自己难堪，
or getting upset at every single inconvenience that happens to you will be stopping yourself from being happy.
或是为发生在你身上的每一个麻烦而烦恼，这样你就再也无法快乐了
Life really is a roller coaster. After things go down, they'll go back up.
生活就像坐过山车，起起伏伏。
Just laugh, choose to be happy, and have more fun. Have you identified with any of these?
只要笑一笑，选择快乐，享受更多的乐趣。你认同以上这些吗？
Do you feel like you have any habits that are making you unhappy? Tell us your story in the comments below.
你觉得你有什么让自己不开心的习惯吗？请在下方说出你的故事。
If you want more videos on psychology, feel free to subscribe. Thanks for watching!
如果你想观看更多关于心理学的视频，请订阅我们的频道。感谢收看！
