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What a weekend. Remember last week there was a woman testifying in front of congress and Donald Trump being the stable genius we know he is decided to go on Twitter and attack her in writing?
多么刺激的一周啊！还记得上周有一个女人在国会前作证，而众所周知，唐纳德·特朗普一直都是天才，我们知道他肯定会发表推特，他会在推特上用文字攻击那个女人吗？
And then everyone, including a lot of his supporters, said that was a very wrong thing to do?
之后，每个人，包括很多他的支持者，都说这么做不地道。
Well, guess what? Yesterday Tweety Gonzalez pulled out his little orange thumbs and he did it again.
好吧。猜猜看？昨天，Tweety Gonzalez又伸出了他的橙色小拇指。
This time he attacked a woman who works for Mike Pence currently.
这次他袭击了一个在迈克·彭斯（美国政治家）下工作的女人。
Her name is Jennifer Williams.
她叫詹妮弗·威廉姆斯。
She's a special adviser to the vice president.
她是副总统的特别顾问。
She was also listening in on Trump's now infamous call with the president of Ukraine.
她还偷听了特朗普与乌克兰总统的邪恶通话。
There were more people on this call than there were at his inauguration.
参加电话会议的人比参加他的就职典礼的人还多。
So in her closed door testimony Williams says Trump specifically mentioned the name of the Ukrainian company Hunter Biden worked for.
所以在她的秘密证词中，威廉姆斯说特朗普特意提到了亨特·拜登就职的乌克兰公司的名字。
It's called Burisma.
叫Burisma。
But that was omitted from the transcript the white house released.
但白宫公布的文字记录中没有提到这个。
You know the one the president keeps telling us to read.
你知道，总统一直跟我们说要将它公之于众。
Well, turns out maybe that transcript has been sanitized for his protection.
好吧，或许那份文字记录为了保护他已经被清理掉了。
Trump of course as soon as he heard this went right on the attack.
当然，特朗普一听到这句话马上就采取了攻击行动。
He called this woman who works, again, for his vice president, a never Trumper.
他把这名为他的副总统卖命的女人称为“永远的特朗普黑粉”。
It's like calling the hamburglar a vegetarian.
这就像把“汉堡神偷”称为“素食主义者”一样。
It's ridiculous.
太搞笑了。
She is scheduled to testify publicly tomorrow.
她被定于明天公开作证。
And that'll be interesting. Burisma is a word you don't forget.
那会很有趣。Burisma是一个你忘不掉的词。
It sounds like a disease that makes you put your cat to sleep.
听起来像是一种会强迫自己哄猫咪睡觉的怪癖。
It's not something that comes up in normal conversation.
这不是正常谈话中会出现的词儿。
I don't know if this has anything to do with that, but the other big story this weekend was the president made an unplanned, unannounced trip to the hospital.
我不知道之后会怎样，但是这周末的另一个大新闻是总统突然去了医院。
The staff at walter reed hospital was given no advance notice of the president's visit, which is unusual.
沃尔特里德医院的工作人员事先没有接到总统来访的通知，这很不正常。
Usually they're all told in advance.
通常他们都会提前接到通知。
It sounds to me like maybe the old fella's pregnant.
怎么听着像是那个老家伙怀孕了。
It's possible.
很有可能……
Anyway, you know the president loves to talk about how healthy he is and how slow and tired everyone else is.
总之，你知道，总统喜欢吹嘘自己有多么健康，而别人都是很慢很累什么的。
This visit chips away at that. But there was a perfectly good reins fo reason for it.
这次去医院让他的吹嘘出现了漏洞。但是他有一个很好的理由。
At least according to white house press secretary Stephanie Grisham who had a not at all suspicious-sounded explanation for a curious Jeanine Pirro.
至少白宫的新闻秘书斯蒂芬妮·格里沙姆是这么认为的，她对好奇的宝宝珍妮·皮洛给出了一个听起来很正当的解释。
I understand it wasn't a scheduled annual visit. Can you tell us what it was?
我理解，这不在年度访问的计划当中。你能告诉我们怎么回事吗？
yeah, absolutely. We've got a really busy year ahead, as you can imagine.
嗯，当然。我们明年会很忙很忙，是你想象不到的那种忙。
And so the president decided to go to Walter Reed and kind of get a head start with some routine checkups as part of his annual exam. That's all it was. It was very routine. We had a down day today. And so he made the decision to head there.
所以总统决定去一趟沃尔特里德医院做一些常规的检查，为他的年度检查打基础。就是这样，很常规的检查。我们今天过得很糟糕，所以他决定去一趟医院。
They had a down day. Every day is a down day.
他们今天过得很糟糕~每天都很糟糕好吗~
By the way, this is trump's real schedule for today, for monday.
顺便说一下，这是特朗普今天的行程，周一的行程。
We did not alter this for comic effect. First thing he had for the day was an intelligence briefing at 2:00 p.m.
我们没有为了喜剧效果而做一些改动。他今天要做的第一件事是下午2点的情报简述。
And then a meeting with the secretary of state at 4:15.
然后是4点15分和国务卿会晤。
And that's it. Then back to the couch to watch Fox News.
就没了。之后躺在沙发上看福克斯新闻就可以了。
The dolphins at sea world have busier schedules than our president.
海洋世界的海豚都比我们的总统忙。
But go on.
但是。接下来呢？
What's the rest of the health story?
去了医院之后又发生了什么？
And there's no truth to the rumors that it was something else? Because the rumors are flying.
有传言说有什么其它的隐情？因为流言满天飞啊。
Oh, the rumors are always flying. Absolutely not. He is healthy as can be. I put a statement out about that. He's got more energy than anybody in the white house. That man works from 6:00 a.m. Until, you know, very, very late at night. He's doing just fine.
哦，流言不满天飞那就不叫流言了。当然没有其它隐情了。他身体很健康，对此我可以公开说明。他比白宫里的任何人都要精神。那个男人（特朗普）早上6点开始工作，你知道，然后很晚很晚才能下班，他做得很棒。
you know, Stephanie, he's almost superhuman.
你知道，斯蒂芬妮，他就像超人一样。
Right. He's faster than a tweeting bullet.
说得对，他比“推特炸弹”都快。
He's able to bankrupt tall buildings in a single bound.
他动动手指就能让高楼大厦破产。
The president of course shared an update on his health on twitter.
总统当然要在推特上分享他的健康状况。
He wrote: visited a great family of a young man under major surgery at the amazing Walter Reed Medical Center. Those are truly some of the best doctors anywhere in the world. Also began phase one of my yearly physical. Everything very good(great!). Will complete next year.
他写道：在沃尔特里德医疗中心看望了一位正在接受大手术的年轻人的家人。他们是世界上最好的医生。也开始了我年度体检的第一阶段。一切都很顺利，太好了，明年就能做完全部检查。
Next year.
明年。
Phase one was this weekend?
第一阶段在这个周末做的？
Phase two is next--was this a physical or a kitchen remodel?
第二阶段是下一个周末——这是进行身体检查还是进行厨房改造？
This probably won't be good for Trump's health.
这可能会对特朗普的身体产生不好的影响。
The president now claims he might want to testify in front of congress himself in the impeachment inquiry, which is a lie.
总统现在称他可能想在弹劾调查中亲自在国会上为自己作证。他肯定不想。
But that doesn't mean he didn't tweet it.
但这并不意味着他不会发推特。
This morning he wrote, stick with me on this: Our crazy, Do Nothing (where's USMCA, infrastructure, lower drug pricing & much more?) Speaker of the House, Nervous Nancy Pelosi, who's petrified by her Radical Left knowing she will soon be gone (they & Fake News Media are her boss), suggested on Sunday's DEFACE THE NATION…
今天早上他在推特上写道，听我念：我们的疯狂，什么都不做(USMCA，基础设施，降低药品价格等等)众议院议长南希·佩洛西在周日的《污损国家》节目中表示，她知道自己很快就会离开(他们和“假新闻媒体”是她的老板)，她被自己的激进左翼吓呆了。
Clever, that I testify about the phony imwitch hunt. She also said I could do it in writing.
很聪明，我能证明这是假的政治迫害。她还说我可以写下来。
Even though I did nothing wrong and don't like giving credibility to this no due process hoax, I like the idea and will in order to get congress focused again strongly consider it.
尽管我没有做错什么，也不想给这个没走正当程序的骗局增加可信度，但是我喜欢这个想法，为了让国会再次关注，我会“好好考虑”。
That's quite a sentence.
这是一个好句子。
12 high school english teachers killed themselves after reading that sentence.
12名高中英语老师在读完这句话后都会自愧不如。
But the gist is the president claims he will strongly consider testifying.
但重点是总统称他会“强烈考虑”作证。
He won't testify. That will never happen.
他不会作证，永远不会。
But he will do some very strong considering of it.
但是他会“强烈考虑”去作证。
Maybe the strongest. No one considers more strongly than donald trump.
可能真的是“强烈考虑”，没有人会比唐纳德·特朗普更“强烈考虑”了。
They say he's almost superhuman, you know?
她们说他甚至能和超人并肩，你懂的？
The only thing he ever strongly considers is original or extra crispy.
能让他“强烈考虑”的只有“选原味还是选超级香脆”。
That's it.
只有这个。
And by the way, hours after trump floated this idea of providing testimony the house launched an investigation into whether he lied in his testimony to special counsel robert mueller.
顺便说一下，在特朗普表示要提供证词的几个小时后，众议院便开始调查他在向特别检察官罗伯特·穆勒提供证词时是否有撒谎。
I hope he testifies in person.
我希望他能亲自作证。
I really do.
真心希望。
It would be so much fun to see all the Republicans in that chamber barking and wagging their tails when their owner walks in.
能看到共和党的人在主人走进来的时候边叫边摇尾巴的场景肯定很有趣。
Wouldn't it?
对吧？
Meanwhile, on the democratic side of things, joe biden's doing everything he can to remind us that he is a very old person.
与此同时，在民主党方面，乔·拜登正竭力提醒我们他年事已高。
Joe biden says that if elected he will not legalize marijuana federally because he thinks it might be a gateway drug.
拜登说，如果他当选，他不会让大麻在联邦政府合法化，因为他觉得大麻是“入门级毒品”。
That's correct.
这是对的。
It is a gateway drug to not getting the democratic nomination for president.
这是得不到民主党总统候选人提名的“入门级毒品”。
He says there needs to be more research done.
他说需要再研究一番。
And it does lead to other things.
这确实会产生其他问题。
First you try marijuana, then that leads to sass prila, which leads to black licorice, which leads to goofballs, to poppers, to malarkey.
你先尝试了大麻，之后便会尝试“sass prila”、之后是“黑甘草”、最后是“镇静剂”、poppers、和“malarkey”。
Next thing you know you're selling your body for worther's originals.
接下来，你知道，你要出卖自己的身体来换取沃瑟的真品了。
It's a slippery slope. But the idea they need to do more studies.
这是一个滑坡，但是他们“需要做更多的研究”这个说法~
They've already done the study for the last 80 years.
他们已经研究了80年~
You know how we know marijuana isn't a gateway drug?
你知道我们是怎么知道大麻不是入门级毒品的吗？
Willie Nelson isn't a crackhead.
因为威利·纳尔逊还没疯。
Okay?
好吧？
