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Before we begin this video, we just want to thank you for all the support.
开始本期视频前，我们想感谢大家的支持。
You've helped make our content possible by sharing what we do with friends and family and with that we're so grateful.
通过大家的分享，我们才能制作这些视频，感谢大家。
Now onto the topic of letting go of painful memories requested by a viewer.
今天的话题是放下痛苦的记忆
Have you ever done something that made you regret it or hurt hurtful words directed to you that slipped for a loved one's mouth?
大家有没有做过让自己后悔的事情，或是你爱的人出口伤害了你？
Some actions affect us more than others depending on what we take more personally.
有些行为对我们的影响比其他行为更大，这取决于我们个人的看法。
As a result, the past often becomes full of heavy emotional baggage we bring with us wherever we go.
因此，无论我们走到哪里，往事常常成为了我们沉重的情感包袱。
So how do we move forward and leave it for good? Here are eight ways to let go of painful memories.
那么，我们如何继续前进并将让它永远留下呢？以下是放下痛苦回忆的8种方法。
1. Identify what triggers you.
1. 确定是什么触发了你的回忆。
This can be closely linked to your childhood.
这可能和童年有着密切关联。
Think about what upsets you: Is it someone raising their voice at you?
想想什么让你心烦：是不是有人吼你？
Perhaps it's when you're pressured into doing something uncomfortable.
或者逼你做不想做的事情？
Even if that individual is only kidding around,
即便这个人可能只是在开玩笑，
depending on the context of the trigger your brain might not readily, identify that it's not a real threat.
根据触发事件的背景，你的大脑可能识别不出这不是真正的威胁。
Grow aware of the circumstances you are sensitive to; train yourself to practice calming techniques when you encounter them.
意识到你所敏感的环境；当你遇到这些情况时，试着让自己平静。
2. Allow room for mistakes.
2. 允许自己犯错误。
Do you consider yourself a perfectionist and often desired quick fast results?
你觉得自己是个完美主义者并且经常希望迅速得到结果么？
Unfortunately, healing is not a linear path nor is it a swift process.
不幸的是，治愈不是一条直线，也不是一个快速的过程。
The truth is you're gonna make a lot of mistakes along the way.
事实上这一路，你会犯很多错误。
Don't beat yourself up if you still give in to your negative thoughts or failed to live in the present.
如果你仍然屈服于你的消极思想或者不能活在当下，也不要打击自己。
It takes time to get used to new healthy changes. Recognize when you've slipped back into your old toxic ways
适应新的健康的改变需要时间。当你又回到老样子时，自己要意识到
and ask yourself what you can do next time to avoid repeating the same pattern.
并问自己下一次要做什么才能避免重复同样的模式。
3. Put yourself in the offenders' shoes.
3. 设身处地的为别人着想。
Painful memories continue to haunt us when we hold grudges against those who have wronged us
当我们怨恨那些冤枉过我们的人时，痛苦的记忆就会一直萦绕着我们
and yes, while you may have every right to be angry at them for abusing, betraying, lying or cheating on you
没错，虽然你有权利对别人的虐待、背叛、谎言和欺骗感到愤怒，
holding onto anger in the long run will damage you more than the person who hurt you.
但从长远来看，保持愤怒对你的伤害比对伤害你的人更大。
Putting yourself in the offenders' shoes doesn't mean you make up excuses for their poor behavior
为对方着想并不意味着你要为他们错误的行为找借口
but it can shift your perspective which may encourage you to forgive them and let go.
但这样可以改变你的观点，或许还能鼓励你忘掉不愉快。
4. Accept what you cannot change.
4. 接受自己无法改变的事情。
It's easy to play the victim but when you focus too much on what the other person did that upset you,
扮演受害者很有容易，但当你过于专注他人的所作所为时，你就会心烦意乱，
it means you also give them all the power to control how you feel
这意味着你也给了他们所有的力量来控制你的感受
Rather than feeling powerless shift your focus onto what you can change and go from there.
与其感到无能为力，不如将你的注意力转移到你能改变的地方，然后从那里开始。
Remember you may not be responsible for what happened to you
记住，你不必为发生在你身上的事负责
but you have the responsibility over what affects you from now on.
但从现在开始，你要对影响你的事情负责。
5. Cry it out.
5. 哭出来。
Crying often gets a bad rap for being associated with weakness but this is far from the truth.
哭泣总和脆弱联系在一起，但事实并非如此。
In fact, researchers continuously support that crying away your negative emotions releases the harmful chemicals that
事实上，研究人员一直认为，将你的消极情绪哭出来可以释放在你体内积累的有害化学物质
build up in your body over time when you bottle them up.
随着时间推移，这些有害物质会在你体内堆积。
Never feel like you have to man up or stay strong or internalize your pain,
永远不要觉得你必须要勇敢，或者要保持坚强，把你的痛苦内在化，
this can do more harm than healing in the long run.
长期来看，这么做弊大于利。
6. Embrace rationality.
6. 拥抱理性。
Emotions exist to tell us what's working for us and what isn't
情绪的存在是为了告诉我们什么适合我们，什么不适合我们。
but solely relying on them can cloud our judgment and we may grow too comfortable
但仅仅依赖它们会蒙蔽我们的判断力，我们可能会
with negative emotions over time that we drown instead of learning to swim.
因为消极情绪而变得太过安逸，以至于淹死，而不是学会游泳。
When we ruminate over past memories, we neglect to use our logic.
当我们反复思考过去的回忆时，我们就忽视了要使用逻辑。
Although it's impossible to stay 100% detached, we can take a more rational approach
虽然不可能保持100%的客观，但我们可以采取更理性的方法，
to understand our trauma through a different perspective.
从不同的角度来理解我们的创伤。
7. Recondition your negative thoughts.
7. 修整你的消极思想。
One technique you can use is wearing a rubber band on one of your wrists,
你可以使用的一种技巧是在手腕上戴一个橡皮筋，
every time you catch yourself thinking bad thoughts, gently flick the band on your wrist
每次发现自己想那些不好的事情时，轻轻地弹一下手腕上的皮筋
the uncomfortable feeling you get while doing this will train your mind to associate it with your negative obsessions.
当你这样做的时候，不舒服的感觉会训练你的大脑把它和你的消极强迫联系起来。
Your ruminating might not stop all together but it can be modified under your supervision.
你反复回忆的毛病或许不会完全消除，但它可以在你的监督下得到修改。
8. Don't take yourself too seriously.
8. 别太把自己当回事。
It would be sad if life only consisted of paying bills, healing from broken hearts and working but it's not.
如果生活只有支付账单，从破碎的心灵中疗伤和工作，那么这也太可悲了。但事实并非如此。
It can be so much more if we open ourselves to go company and new places.
如果我们敞开心扉，去结交新的朋友，去新的地方，我们会收获更多。
Amplifying your ego is great, if you want to build confidence but taking yourself too seriously within the process is actually a waste of time
如果你想建立自己的自信，放大你的自我是个很好的方法，但在这个过程中，当你笑着享受自己的生活时，
when you could be laughing and having the time of your life.
太把自己当回事其实是浪费时间。
Want more self-help content, check out and subscribe to Maya Lee's channel,
想要了解更过自我帮助的内容？点击并订阅Maya Lee的频道
she creates videos on self-improvement, gets past insecurities and shows a glimpse of her teaching journey.
她的视频包括，自我提升、克服不安全感以及展示自己的教学历程。
It would mean a lot not only to her but to us.
这样对她和我意义非凡。
Also, if you like this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up and as always thanks for watching
还有，如果你喜欢本期视频，一定要点赞，一如既往，感谢大家。
