评论
打印
Families are going to be gathering around tables. Those families there's no guarantee that they're all going to be thinking the same thing or believing the same thing and there are basically three choices here.
一家人马上要围坐在餐桌前了。这些家庭成员并不能保证他们都在想同样的事情或者相信同样的事情。基本上有三种选择。
Either you charge right into the political discussions and it blows up because you're not necessarily prioritizing the relational aspects of it.
要么你直接参与到政治讨论中，然后场面失控，因为你没有必要优先考虑它的相关方面。
Number two is you could totally avoid politics even though it's on everybody's mind. Everyone is tiptoeing around the eggshells.
第二，你可以完全避免政治，即使大家都在想这件事。每个人都小心翼翼。
Instead we're going to talk about what a beautiful color the flowers are which also misses the opportunity to be known and to really know with any depth or nuance the other people around the table.
相反，我们会谈论花的颜色是多么美丽，这也让人没有机会被别人了解，没机会真正深入细致地了解同桌的其他人。
The third option is to actually talk about the politics but to do it in a way that preferences understanding. So, seek first to understand and then to be understood.
第三种选择是谈论政治，但要以一种偏好理解的方式。所以，先寻求理解，才能被理解。
That isn't trying to reach agreement. You're not trying to change anyone's position. You're just trying to understand where they're coming from.
这不是试图达成协议。你不会试图改变任何人的立场。你只是想知道它们从何而来。
And the best tools for doing this are questions. Things like how do you see it.
最好的方法就是提问。比如你如何看待它。
Can you help me understand how you came to that perspective or hmmm, that's an angle I haven't thought about before.
你能告诉我你是怎么想到这个观点的吗？嗯，这个角度我以前没想过。
I'm wondering if you can unpack that for me a little bit and tell me more about what's there.
我想知道你能不能展开一点给我详细讲讲。
Asking questions like I'm wondering is there an experience that you've had that really convinced you about having this position.
问一些问题，比如“我想知道你是否有过这样的经历，让你确信自己持这个立场？”
If you just keep asking questions chances are you're going to learn something about the people sitting on the other side of the table – your parents, your siblings, your aunts, your uncles, the stranger somebody invited over to dinner.
如果你不停地问问题，很有可能你会对坐在桌子另一边的人有所了解——你的父母，你的兄弟姐妹，你的阿姨，你的叔叔，被邀请来吃饭的陌生人。
And perhaps your mind will be opened a little bit. You'll have some thoughts you haven't had before. To me that's the Thanksgiving blessing.
也许你的思想会开放一点。你会有一些从未有过的想法。对我来说，这就是感恩节的福报。
So, last year we at Heterodox Academy created this little postcard that we sent out to people in our community and there was just a blessing at the bottom.
所以，去年我们在异端学院制作了这个小明信片，我们把它寄给我们社区的人，在底部有一句祝福。
May your Thanksgiving table be graced with intellectual humility and curiosity.
愿你的感恩节餐桌上充满智慧的谦逊和好奇。
