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Hi everyone, we Psych2go would like to thank you for your continuous love and appreciation.
各位观众，我们想感谢大家一直以来的爱和支持。
It's your support that enables us to bring you quality content regarding all things psychology.
有了大家的支持，我们才能为大家带来关于心理学的高质量内容。
Do you ever feel like everyone in your life is already in a relationship except you?
你是否觉得除了你，你周围的人都恋爱了？
Do you find yourself wondering why you still haven't found that special someone despite being such a good catch?
你想知道自己至今单身的原因么？
You may be attractive, successful, charming or financially well-off, however, you still struggle to settle down.
你可能很有吸引力、很成功、很有魅力或者很富有，但是，你仍然没有稳定下来。
So what are the circumstances in your life that might be keeping you from finding the right person for you?
所以你生活中的那些因素可能阻碍你寻找真爱呢？
Here are six probable reasons why you're still single.
以下是你至今单身的6个可能的原因。
1. You don't have a sense of identity.
1. 你没有认同感。
Do you find it hard to find a partner or make your relationships last?
你是否觉得很难找到一个伴侣或者很难维持你们的关系？
It may be because you don't really know yourself well enough.
这可能是因为你还不够了解自己。
If you're still unsure of who you are or what you want in life,
如果你仍不确定你是谁或你想要什么，
it'll be harder for you to know what you want in a partner.
那么你很难知道你想要什么样的伴侣。
Do you search for love as a way to fill the emptiness you feel inside of yourself?
你恋爱只是为了填补自己内心的空虚吗？
Mistakenly believing that being in a relationship will make you whole?
你错误得将恋爱视为生活的全部？
The truth is you can be in a relationship and still feel lonely.
事实上恋爱仍会感觉孤独。
That emptiness you're struggling with is likely due to being disconnected and isolated from yourself not from others.
你在斗争的空虚感可能是由于你与自己隔绝，而不是与他人隔绝。
Renowned psychologist Erik Erikson even believed that without a secure sense of identity,
著名心理学家Erik Erikson甚至认为没有认同感的人
it would be extremely difficult to form a healthy relationship with someone else. Do you feel this is the case for you ?
极其难以拥有一段健康的恋爱关系。你觉得这说的是你么？
2. You have unrealistic standards.
2. 你的标准不现实。
Knowing your own worth and respecting yourself enough not to settle for less than what you deserve is definitely a good thing.
了解自己的价值，尊重自己，不满足于低于你应得的肯定是一件好事。
However, you should be careful not to set the bar too high for anyone to climb.
但你应该注意不要设定一个任何人都无法攀登的高标准。
Are you asking too much from your potential partners? If you've been searching for that special someone for a long time now,
你对未来伴侣的要求太高了吗？如果你一直在寻找那个特别的人，
and no one even comes close, there's a possibility that your idea of a perfect partner simply doesn't exist.
但还是没人靠近，这或许是因为你的理想伴侣并不存在。
Nobody is going to have all the same interests and passions as you or immediately know what to do or how to act around you.
没人会和你有着完全相同的兴趣和激情或者立即知道在你身边该做什么或怎么做。
Movies and books can often give us unrealistic expectations about love and romance.
电影和书籍通常给了我们关于爱情和浪漫的不切实际的期待。
Seeing all those perfect relationships on social media may also make it hard for you to settle down.
社交媒体上的完美恋爱也让你难以安定下来。
On the surface, everything seems great and effortlessly easy
表面上，一切似乎都非常美好，且不费吹灰之力，
but in reality, it takes a lot of dedication from both parties to make a relationship work
但现实中，双方都需要付出很大的努力才能建立起良好的关系
and sometimes you may fall for someone you least expect.
有时你会爱上一个你最意想不到的人。
3. You're still heart broken.
3. 你仍然心碎。
Are you thinking of dating someone new, even though you're still hung up on your ex?
你是否在考虑和一个新的人约会，即使你仍然挂念着你的前任？
You might think that getting over someone means finding a replacement for them but rushing into things is never a good idea.
你可能认为忘记一个人就意味着找到一个人来代替他们，但是如此匆忙从来都不是一个好主意。
This is why rebound relationships don't often work out.
这就是为什么反弹关系通常不会成功的原因。
No matter how much time has passed, whether it's been weeks months or even years,
不论过了过久，不管是几个星期、几个月还是几年，
you shouldn't be looking for a new partner yet if you're still nursing a broken heart from your last failed romance.
如果你还在为上一段失败的感情伤透了心，那么你还不应该去寻找新的伴侣。
Instead allow yourself all the time you need to heal and truly let that person go.
相反，你应该给自己足够的时间来疗伤放手。
It may do you some good to get comfortable with being single for a while before you put your heart on the line again.
在你再次冒险之前，先适应一段时间的单身生活可能会对你有好处。
After all recovering from a breakup can lead to tremendous self-growth and improved quality of life.
毕竟从分手中恢复能带来巨大的自我成长和生活质量的提高。
4. You're afraid of commitment
4. 害怕承诺。
According to Robert Sternberg's famous Triarchic Theory of Love,
根据Robert Sternberg的《Triarchic Theory of Love》
commitments and intimacy are fundamental elements of a lasting relationship, along with passion.
承诺和亲密还有激情是一段持久关系的基本要素。
Do you only want the thrill and excitement of new love and don't think you're ready to be in a serious relationship quite yet?
你只想要新恋情带来的兴奋和刺激，却还没准备好开始一段认真的感情吗？
It's ok to be afraid of commitment but it's better to understand why.
害怕承诺美国西，但是最好知道其中原因。
Is it because you're scared to be vulnerable and open yourself up to others
是因为你害怕变得脆弱，害怕向别人敞开心扉吗？
or is it because you don't want to feel trapped in a relationship with someone else.
或是因为你不想陷入和别人的关系中？
Are you afraid of rejection and abandonment so you leave to deny other people a chance to leave you
你害怕被拒绝被抛弃，所以你不会给别人离开你的机会么？
or do you simply not believe that a relationship is meant to last.
或是你只是不相信爱情会长久。
Until you figure yourself out first and understand why it is you're so afraid of commitment
除非你首先弄清楚自己，明白为什么你如此害怕承诺
you'll only continue to drive people away and never move forward from the courtship stage of dating.
否则你只会继续把人们赶走，永远不会从约会的求爱阶段走出来。
5. You don't have time to date.
5. 没时间约会。
Another reason why you might be struggling in your search for romance is that you're simply too busy to be dating right now.
你还在艰难寻爱的另一个原因可能是因为你太忙了没时间约会。
Whether it's your career, your academics or your personal life taking up a lot of your time
无论是你的职业，学业还是你的个人生活占据了你大量的时间，
it can be hard for you to find someone when you're preoccupied with so many other things at the moment.
当你集中精力在一件事上时，你很难找到另一半。
It's perfectly fine if being in a relationship is not one of your priorities right now, especially if you're still young.
如果一段感情不是你现在优先考虑的事情，这是完全可以的，特别是如果你还年轻。
Nonetheless, if you're really serious about wanting to settle down with someone already,
尽管如此，如果你真的很想和某人安定下来，
then you should make a few adjustments to your schedule.
那么你应该对你的时间做一些调整。
Finally, you're single by choice.
最后，是你选择了单身。
Do you value your independence and don't want to be tied down yet?
你重视你的独立性，不想被束缚？
Do you want to focus on other aspects of your life first?
你想先关注生活的其他方面？
Maybe you're still sorting out your own issues and trying to navigate your way through life. That's okay.
也许你还在整理自己的问题，试图在生活中找到方向。没关系。
Whatever your reason may be, it's good to be honest with yourself about what it is you want and don't want.
不论原因是什么，都要对自己想要的和不想要的诚实。
You don't need a relationship to be happy, take everything at your own pace.
不是一定要恋爱才会快乐，一切按自己的脚步来。
At the end of the day, a relationship is a want not a need and you should want it for the right reasons.
最后，恋爱是锦上添花而不是雪中送炭，你需要它的理由应该是正确的。
If you want someone to save you or take care of you or you're not happy with yourself in your life,
如果你想要别人来救你，照顾你，或者你对自己的生活不满意，
rushing into a relationship is not the answer. On the other hand, if you're too busy with your career,
匆忙恋爱不是你的答案。另一方面，如果你忙于自己的事业，
still pining over someone else or dating too aggressively, you won't attract the right kind of people.
如果你仍然对别人念念不忘，或者约会太过攻击性，你将无法吸引到合适的人。
Once you understand why it is you're still single and what you can do about it,
一旦你知道了自己仍然单身的原因，知道自己可以怎么做，
only then can you start to connect better with other people.
只有这样你才能开始更好地和别人建立联系。
This makes it easier for you to find someone who's a good match for you, fall in love with them and make your relationship last.
这让你更容易找到一个适合你的人，爱上他们并让你们的关系持续下去。
Do you resonate with the reasons explained in this video? If you did, what do you plan to do next?
你对视频中解释的原因有共鸣吗？如果有，你下一步打算做什么？
Are there other reasons we might have missed in this video? Let us know in the comments below.
还有那些其他原因是视频中没有提到的？请在下方评论告知。
Also if you find this video helpful, be sure to share it with someone who would benefit from it too.
如果你觉得本期视频有所帮助，清河需要的人分享。
Don't forget to like this video and subscribe to our youtube channel. As always thanks for watching.
不要忘记给我们点赞并订阅我们的频道。一如既往，感谢大家的收看。
