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That's right. Mike Pence is in charge of handling the coronavirus. In fact, he released a PSA today to help calm everybody down.
没错，麦克·彭斯处理新冠状病毒问题，事实上，他今天公布了一份PSA值，可以帮助人们冷静下来。
Here. Take a look. Hello. I'm Mike Pence. And I want to talk to you about coronavirus. I am the Vice President, the ambassador to heaven,
这里，来看看，大家好，我是麦克·彭斯，我今天想谈一下新冠病毒问题，我是副总统，也是天堂大使，
and now Trump's little science boy. It's true, the President has put me in charge of coronavirus.
如今也是小特的科学男孩，真的如此，小特让我负责新冠病毒。
So there's no need to panic or even...blink.
所以你们没必要害怕，甚至是眨眼。
Luckily, we can already see the white at the end of the tunnel.
幸运的是，我们已经看到了最后的样子。
Today, President Trump allocated $8.3 billion to disease prevention.
今天，小特总统拨款83个亿来防治病毒。
That's one dollar for every sin that's been committed at a Cher concert. And, fortunately, I understand viruses...
一美元都用来支付在雪儿演唱会上犯下的罪行，幸运的是我了解病毒。
or, as I call them, little nose Satans. So everything will be cool as milk as long as we follow a few tips...
或者我称他们为“小鼻子撒旦”，只要我们遵循几点注意，所有事情都将没事。
like, instead of saying, Bless you, start saying, God bless you. Wash your hands frequently.
比如我们不说祝福你，我们开始说上帝祝福你，勤洗手。
And don't touch yourself. Not even in the shower. If you're feeling sick, call your exorcist right away.
不要触摸你自己，甚至不要在洗澡时触摸，如果你感觉难受，赶紧叫驱魔者过来。
Avoid personal contact, even with your spouse. That's why Mother and I haven't touched in years.
避免个人接触，甚至不要和伴侣，这就是为什么我和妈妈多年来都没触摸过的原因。
And if you have to cough, don't. That's just the Holy Spirit slipping out of you.
如果你需要咳嗽，不要咳嗽，就让大地圣灵流出你的身体。
Coronavirus is affecting all Americans. Even I had to cancel my Leviticus on the Sea Bible cruise.
新冠病毒正在影响所有人，甚至我都要取消我在“海上圣经”海上巡游的《利未记》。
But if we stay calm, everything will be all white I mean all right. All right. I'm Mike pence, and I bless this message.
但如果我们可以保持镇定，所有事情都将死亡，我的意思是都会好，没错，我是麦克·彭斯，我祝福这条信息。
I'm gonna be the fall guy for this, aren't I? He's gonna go with Nikki Haley, right?
我将成为这件事情的替罪羊，不是吗？他将和妮基·黑利走，对吗？
All righty, then. Mother, pack our bags!
好吧，妈妈，收拾行李！
